Fic: Steady As She Goes (68/86), blue cortina, dakfinv
Title: Steady As She Goes (68/86)
Author: dak
Word Count: 695 this part; [120,961 overall]
Summary for Whole: After an accidental shooting at the station, Gene struggles to keep his team from tearing themselves apart while his and Sam's friendship is pushed to the limits.
Summary this Part: Things get back to normal.
Rating: still Blue-ish Cortina, uhm, what's slightly darker than blue?
Warnings: angst, swearing, violence, violent imagery, minor drug use, mild sexual situations, self-harm for whole
Spoilers: none here; see each chapter for specific spoiler warnings
Pairing: mild Sam/Annie, Sam/Maya, Gene/missus
Disclaimer: Belongs to BBC/Kudos
A/N: Very short part, I know, but I have family obligations this weekend and for much of next week so I wanted to post what I had when I could. Please enjoy!
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44 Part 45 Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50 Part 51 Part 52 Part 53 Part 54 Part 55 Part 56 Part 57 Part 58 Part 59 Part 60 Part 61 Part 62 Part 63 Part 64 Part 65 Part 66 Part 67 Part 68 Part 69 Part 70 Part 71 Part 72 Part 73 Part 74 Part 75 Part 76 Part 77 Part 78 Part 79 Part 80 Part 81 Part 82 Part 83 Part 84 Part 85 Part 86
“My Darling, you will never understand this horrible thing that I must do. This letter will reach you only after I have committed this unspeakable act and I know you will feel guilty about not being able to prevent it. I know I would feel the same if our desperate lives were reversed though I pray to God you shall never find yourself in such a hopeless predicament. This is why I must tell you how much I love you. Please, Lizzie, please God understand that you are in no way to blame for my death. You were the most perfect and loving wife a man could ever ask for. I knew you and I were meant for each other the first time...”
“C’mon Tyler. Will you skip all the flowery shit and get to the confession?”
Sam glowered at Gene before skimming to the end of the letter. “First kiss...wedding day...wedding night...”
“That might be interesting,” Chris peered over Sam’s shoulder.
“Down Chris,” Ray ordered from his spot next to the Guv. The core of the team was huddled near Tyler’s desk, minus Annie who had been sent out on another shout. It was late afternoon, nearly early evening, and CID was in a strangely relaxed mood. The cigarette smoke hung loosely in the air as a radio broadcast softly in the background.
Sam adjusted his stance and continued reading. “Forgive me, forgive yourself...can’t understand...Ah. Here. You may believe that a police officer, with such a decorated and honorable record as mine,” (Gene snorted), “would have no reason to feel such despair. But believe me Lizzie, truly believe me when I say that the good things I have done cannot make up for the deaths I have caused. I love you...love you...forgive me...yours always, Marcus.” Sam looked up expectantly from the letter, waiting for input.
“That’s it?” Ray scoffed. “That’s our lead? One line in a love letter?”
“Suicide note,” Chris corrected.
“An’ Litton knows nowt about these ‘deaths’?” Gene asked.
“Chris and I looked over RCS”s records starting from a year back when Graham transferred in, to his last case two weeks ago. Except for the incident with Chris and Roy Martin, his record is completely spotless. I’ve phoned over to his old division in Leicestershire for his past records but it’ll take them...take them about a week...to get...to get them organized and sent over.” Sam handed the letter over to Chris.
Gene stiffened as he saw Tyler’s eyes start to glaze over and the color drain from his face. No one else appeared to notice. He kept his mouth shut.
“Chris, show...show them the file we took from RCS on Martin’s original charge.” Sam avoided eye contact as he walked briskly towards the exit.
“Tyler?” Gene gruffly called to him.
“Bad curry, Guv. Be right back.”
When Sam was out of sight of his colleagues he ran to the gents and ducked inside, splashing his face with water and willing the beeping to disappear.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Sam’s vitals seem to have finally stabilized Mrs. Tyler. Beep. Beep. Beep. We’ll need to keep a close eye on him of course but he does seem to be out of the woods for now. Beep. Beep. Beep.
“You had soup for lunch.”
Sam opened his eyes to see Gene’s stern glare reflected back at him. He couldn’t think of anything to say.
“You hearing things again?” No nicknames. No insults. No taunts. They were the scariest words Gene had ever said to him.
“I told you it was a stomach upset...”
“And I told you I was going to keep a closer eye on you.”
Neither man moved. Sam felt his stomach begin to churn. His palms were sweating, in danger of slipping off the slick counter. Gene’s face was stone, unmoving, uncaring. Sam ran into the nearest stall and chucked up his lunch. He flushed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he came back out of the stall.
“Watch what you eat.” Gene swept out of the room and Sam collapsed against the stall wall, desperate to get a grip on his nerves. Yes, things were getting back to normal, which was absolutely no good at all.
_____
Part 69
Author: dak
Word Count: 695 this part; [120,961 overall]
Summary for Whole: After an accidental shooting at the station, Gene struggles to keep his team from tearing themselves apart while his and Sam's friendship is pushed to the limits.
Summary this Part: Things get back to normal.
Rating: still Blue-ish Cortina, uhm, what's slightly darker than blue?
Warnings: angst, swearing, violence, violent imagery, minor drug use, mild sexual situations, self-harm for whole
Spoilers: none here; see each chapter for specific spoiler warnings
Pairing: mild Sam/Annie, Sam/Maya, Gene/missus
Disclaimer: Belongs to BBC/Kudos
A/N: Very short part, I know, but I have family obligations this weekend and for much of next week so I wanted to post what I had when I could. Please enjoy!
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44 Part 45 Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50 Part 51 Part 52 Part 53 Part 54 Part 55 Part 56 Part 57 Part 58 Part 59 Part 60 Part 61 Part 62 Part 63 Part 64 Part 65 Part 66 Part 67 Part 68 Part 69 Part 70 Part 71 Part 72 Part 73 Part 74 Part 75 Part 76 Part 77 Part 78 Part 79 Part 80 Part 81 Part 82 Part 83 Part 84 Part 85 Part 86
“My Darling, you will never understand this horrible thing that I must do. This letter will reach you only after I have committed this unspeakable act and I know you will feel guilty about not being able to prevent it. I know I would feel the same if our desperate lives were reversed though I pray to God you shall never find yourself in such a hopeless predicament. This is why I must tell you how much I love you. Please, Lizzie, please God understand that you are in no way to blame for my death. You were the most perfect and loving wife a man could ever ask for. I knew you and I were meant for each other the first time...”
“C’mon Tyler. Will you skip all the flowery shit and get to the confession?”
Sam glowered at Gene before skimming to the end of the letter. “First kiss...wedding day...wedding night...”
“That might be interesting,” Chris peered over Sam’s shoulder.
“Down Chris,” Ray ordered from his spot next to the Guv. The core of the team was huddled near Tyler’s desk, minus Annie who had been sent out on another shout. It was late afternoon, nearly early evening, and CID was in a strangely relaxed mood. The cigarette smoke hung loosely in the air as a radio broadcast softly in the background.
Sam adjusted his stance and continued reading. “Forgive me, forgive yourself...can’t understand...Ah. Here. You may believe that a police officer, with such a decorated and honorable record as mine,” (Gene snorted), “would have no reason to feel such despair. But believe me Lizzie, truly believe me when I say that the good things I have done cannot make up for the deaths I have caused. I love you...love you...forgive me...yours always, Marcus.” Sam looked up expectantly from the letter, waiting for input.
“That’s it?” Ray scoffed. “That’s our lead? One line in a love letter?”
“Suicide note,” Chris corrected.
“An’ Litton knows nowt about these ‘deaths’?” Gene asked.
“Chris and I looked over RCS”s records starting from a year back when Graham transferred in, to his last case two weeks ago. Except for the incident with Chris and Roy Martin, his record is completely spotless. I’ve phoned over to his old division in Leicestershire for his past records but it’ll take them...take them about a week...to get...to get them organized and sent over.” Sam handed the letter over to Chris.
Gene stiffened as he saw Tyler’s eyes start to glaze over and the color drain from his face. No one else appeared to notice. He kept his mouth shut.
“Chris, show...show them the file we took from RCS on Martin’s original charge.” Sam avoided eye contact as he walked briskly towards the exit.
“Tyler?” Gene gruffly called to him.
“Bad curry, Guv. Be right back.”
When Sam was out of sight of his colleagues he ran to the gents and ducked inside, splashing his face with water and willing the beeping to disappear.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Sam’s vitals seem to have finally stabilized Mrs. Tyler. Beep. Beep. Beep. We’ll need to keep a close eye on him of course but he does seem to be out of the woods for now. Beep. Beep. Beep.
“You had soup for lunch.”
Sam opened his eyes to see Gene’s stern glare reflected back at him. He couldn’t think of anything to say.
“You hearing things again?” No nicknames. No insults. No taunts. They were the scariest words Gene had ever said to him.
“I told you it was a stomach upset...”
“And I told you I was going to keep a closer eye on you.”
Neither man moved. Sam felt his stomach begin to churn. His palms were sweating, in danger of slipping off the slick counter. Gene’s face was stone, unmoving, uncaring. Sam ran into the nearest stall and chucked up his lunch. He flushed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he came back out of the stall.
“Watch what you eat.” Gene swept out of the room and Sam collapsed against the stall wall, desperate to get a grip on his nerves. Yes, things were getting back to normal, which was absolutely no good at all.
_____
Part 69