Feeling really fragile and deflated. Feel like crying.

Sinking ( Read more... )

I ask for a weekly email. That doesn't happen. So I'm not sure why I'm so surprised when I don't get any response to emails I send. Why do I always hope for more? Why do I always expect more? Perhaps I don't think I'm quite as unworthy as I thought cause for some bizarre reason I thought I was worth more to you than that. Apparently I'm not ( Read more... )

So I started on a 14 day green smoothie challenge, with the hope of continuing it on indefinitely. I'm up to day 6 today and I think it's safe to say I will continue it indefinitely. They are actually quite tasty... ok so the first one was a bit hard to take but I still managed it ok and for me that's something because I just can't force myself to ( Read more... )

Feeling absolute crap since doing the workshop on Saturday. I was so disappointed. It felt like such a waste of my time and money. I didn't pay $200 to sit there and watch her paint all day, I paid that money to learn. I didn't learn anything from her. Picked up some little tips n hints that I will use like adding glitter to the cats muzzle and ( Read more... )

I really loathe night shift. I guess on the plus side it makes me really appreciate NOT being a single parent. I don't know how single parents do it with more than 2 kids, seriously. I am flat out getting all the kids off to bed in a timely manner. I guess it will get easier once Bee puts himself to sleep right from the start without me having to ( Read more... )

Why am I so damn weak? Where did all my strength go? Where did my stubbornness go? What happened to me? Did marriage really break me or do I just make that up in my head? Am I broken? Have I always been broken? Am I destined to be broken forever more? Sometimes I just don't feel like I have the strength to survive anymore. If not for my kids I ( Read more... )

There are days when I'm motivated and there are days when I'm not. Today was one of those days ( Read more... )

I need to remember to take baby steps. Being a jump in feet first kind of person I tend to rush on in and follow the motivation as fast and as much as I can before it burns out. Perhaps it burns out because I put too much energy into it too quickly and the energy at that level cannot be sustained. Perhaps if I force myself to do these little baby ( Read more... )

Why must I be so damn insecure. Or why do I have to always be in two minds so that there is space for those two minds to argue. One says, no he would never cheat on you, the other says he's always cheating on you, just trying to find a way like working late, going out to say goodbye to yet another workmate you've never heard of who is leaving who ( Read more... )