100% forgot I even had an LJ until I got an email saying that I had had it for 21 years.  Guess my LJ can drink now?

Because it seemed safer than being on here and then finding that I had written some big stupid "I still love him" letter.  I'm good now.  Well, as good as I ever get, which means I still look down on intimate relationships of any sort as a silly, stupid waste of time ( Read more... )

I keep wanting to write an "open letter" here on LJ or wherever to Wes.  Just outline everything, from how I used to feel, to how I feel now, to what I want for myself and why that is incompatible with what I want for myself in regards to him... Yeah.  Super bad idea.  I need to just balls up and put it all out of my head like it was before I went ( Read more... )

I am so behind on classwork right now...  Took everything with me to Illinois and did not do anything.  Spent time with my Mo.  Much better use of my time... But I still have to get this shit done.  Fuck.  Class meeting (live and in person!) on Saturday, and must be done with crap by then...

Conflicted.  Confused.  Hurting... For all the reasons you would expect, I suppose.  Wes is still Wes, and I am very unhappy to learn that if he wanted me back (and he got rid of Juliette), I would at least consider it.  Aw, fuck... who am I kidding.  I would go straight on back.  I would probably TRY to negotiate a more equitable, fair, balanced ( Read more... )

I am so excited about Moira's graduation... But I am starting to worry.  I have not had to see Wes (or Juliette) since July 20th, 2011.  I have only spoken with him a handful of times.  And while I am here at home, 2000 miles away from them, I don't think about them much.  Once in a while perhaps, but mostly, I have my own life and my own ( Read more... )

So I am STILL at 228 (boo!)... But, I got home from the doctors today with some relatively good news. My A1c (long term blood sugar) is down 5 points. In January it was a little over 13. Today (well, the blood tests were last Wednesday, but yeah...) it was 8.5. Normal is between 6 and 7. So yeah. AND my bad cholesterol (whichever that one is) is ( Read more... )

Reflections on Self-Evaluation and Self-Assessment

ENTJ. Type A. Active-Behavioral. Every self-assessment gives you a new term or definition to add to the list of “who you are.” Pop psychology provides even more colorful terminology: Control freak, OCD, anal retentive, ego maniac. And while it is easy to be dismissive of ( Read more... )

What a great weekend!  Then there was Monday.  And today (so far).  Still no weight lost.  I have a 6 week check-up with my doctor next Monday.  I have no fucking idea what is going on, but my blood sugars are still out of control, my weight is not doing anything, and I am getting really frustrated and discouraged.  I did not get the practicum spot ( Read more... )

Maybe I won't be working the fuck out of myself for YouTopia this year.  Maybe I will just go.  Or just not even go.  Who the hell knows at this point.  And maybe I am gonna quit CORE too, just because I don't need to spend so much time stressed out and pissed off.  Maybe I am supposed to back off of this stuff and just focus on school and ( Read more... )