My bulimia is starting to come back, and all the things that comes with it too ( Read more... )

I feel very low today and have not done much than sleeping. Its crazy to sleep as much as I do. Before I did not sleep much at all and now I dont do much else than sleep. My head is so emty, I feel emty. Even the smallest amounts of food gives me anxiety. To sleep to much gives me anxiety ( Read more... )

I just woke up. Its 4 in the afternoon and I just woke up, again ( Read more... )

Im falling again. Falling back to the depression, cutting, anxiety and feeling of being trapped and in chains ( Read more... )

Im having major anxiety right now.. Major ( Read more... )

I dont know what to do with myself. I have never felt so lost in my life. 
Dont know how this happend but it did just hit me, like a big smack in the face, that I have bin trying to destroy everything that is the real ME. The real Mikaela. The girl who grew up around bikers with harley davidssons, tattoos, long hair and listening to rock music. I ( Read more... )

So my mums birthday was ok. (she turned 50). I hated the food and did not eat to much. Got really sad at one point durning the evening because my mum thought that my older sisters had done all the preporations and fixed her trip to Egypt. My dad later told her that I had done everything, missing school and tests just because I had to fix hotel and ( Read more... )

Damn, I knew it would come but why did it have to be today! I have bin trying so hard to be "normal" this weekend with eating and keeping my fat as of the gym.. But this is not working anymore. I woke up this morning and realised that I had missed my train so I could not go to school as I just have one class today. So I just slept. And now its 12. ( Read more... )

So Im home from school today and there will be know gym.. A new storm is on its way so there is no point in going into town and mabey not be able to get home if the trains dont go. 
Have bin feeling so sick today. Have so much anxiety in me and I dont know what to do with it. Im so tierd. I have bin sleeping (bad but still) all night and got up at 7 ( Read more... )

I miss those times (refering to pic below). I had a great time and its sad that the old partybuddies is gone. Or not gone, we just dont hang out. Sad.

Even though this was a bad night for me. I got up in a fight with a huge girl and as I got home I started to cut.. 
Still I miss the parties but mostly the people..


( Read more... )