I am not one of those people who dream in vivid narratives that play out like movies on a screen. I rarely remember my dreams, and when I do, it's usually only a snipet here or there. So when I have a fun, story-time dream, and I remember it, I am filled with happy, happy joy, and must share.

The dream that  I woke up from went something like this ( Read more... )

I've been watching a lot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer lately, and I am struck by the fact that every vampire in the world is a Christian, as evidenced by the the maming power of crucifixes. It's interesting that every vampire is afraid of crucifixes and holy water; you never see a vampire who, when confronted with a crucifix, says something like, " ( Read more... )

I like my women like I like my pants: dark and tight.

It is a damn human rights violation that I am single. SERIOUSLY.

I woke up this morning with this goddamn song in my head, and have not been able to get it out all day! WHY GOD, WHY?!!!

There's an event going on this weekend that is being advertised as an "impromptu dance party." Unless they're going for intentional irony here - which is probably just as annoying - I am bothered by the fact that they don't seem to realize that one cannot have a pre-planned impromptu dance party. How dare you contradict terms on my campus. I hope ( Read more... )

Today in school I performed brain surgery on a grape. Almost inspired me to be a brain surgeon.  Almost.

Someone took a shit in my shower. Not cool, bra. Way not cool.  

I am taking a creative writing course this semester, and so far I really enjoy it. Today in class some people read their first story out loud (I was not one of those people), and I was struck by a few things. First, people are waaaay too easily impressed. I mean, there weren't any that down right sucked, but everyone was just so in love with ( Read more... )

I really wish it was more socially acceptable to scream your head off whenever you feel like it. Instead I'll have to settle for this:

HEHOIERGFKJHFVBFVAHDVABEFVHAEFVEFVJerfrGRFFUCK YOU!!! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING PEICE OF OF FUCKING FUCK! FUCK YOU IN THE FUCK WITH A FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCKED-UP FUCKER FUCK!!!! ( Read more... )