Himitsu~Chapter 13
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Chapter 13
Kame decided to go to school today. He was already been absent for four days. He needs to make up from what he had missed. He needs to borrow from any of his classmates' notebook and catch up to what they were studying now. There are too many things to be done. He needed to be at school soon so that he could start asking his classmates and then start self studying.
...
Who was he fooling?
That studying was never really the reason why he wanted to go back to school. He never intended to study and he never wanted to go to school from the first place. He doesn't care about that... He just wanted to see Akanishi... He misses the taller boy so badly he can't eat. He couldn't do anything. He couldn't think of anything other than Akanishi Jin. What was he doing now? Who was he with at this moment? Is he seeing someone already? A girl? Or maybe another boy who also captured his interest...
Kame tried his best to look as good as he could. But he couldn't be of what he used to... He obviously lost some weight. He got swollen eyes from crying every sleepless night... and was still ready to burst some tears from the thought of not having Akanishi around him. But he's trying his best to fight his emotions. He doesn't want Akanishi to saw him in that way. There's still something in him that keeps on giving him a light hope that maybe the taller boy misses him, that Akanishi will still find him attractive...interesting in some way if they happen to see each other at school.
All he wanted is to be beside with Akanishi... always.
He tried to act as normal as possible but as if all eyes were fixed on him, following wherever he's going.
How could he be himself when there were eyes studying him? He could even hear whispers everywhere. Maybe he's just being too paranoid. He's hearing whispers but it doesn't necessarily mean that they were talking about him. He never had been on the spot. Besides they never care about him.
At last, he made it to their class room. As he entered the room, again all of them were eyeing him. He tried not to look back at any eyes. His eyes immediately averted to Akanishi's seat. He was wrong. Not all eyes were plastered on him... Not the eyes he wished to stare at him... Akanishi was still at his own seat. He never changed. He still loves reading. But why he's not looking at him?
Everyone’s attention was at them. They were watching every step Kame would make, what's going to happen when she get closer to her former boyfriend? Is she going to talk to Akanishi? What would be Akanishi's reaction when the ex-girlfriend talked to him?
But Kame's vision only saw what he wanted to see. He didn't care about the gossip. He didn't care about the attention around him as he was getting closer to Akanishi. All he could hear was the loud noise of his heart beat banged against his chest.
He stopped in front of Akanishi. Seconds later, the boy finally lifted up his head and looked at him. Another bang from Kame's heart throbbing. Akanishi haven't changed from the day he has last seen the taller boy. He's as good looking as ever. Unlike him...
"What?" Akanishi asked nonchalant.
Kame couldn't possibly find a word to respond to that question but he doesn't want the conversation to just end like that without even a good start. He wanted to be talked by Akanishi, looked by Akanishi... and if possible...loved by him... But for now, he’s fine by simply having a conversation with the taller boy.
"H-How are you?" he nervously asked.
"Very much fine." Akanishi then answered with the same attitude as the day he broke up with Kame.
“Sou dane.” Kame tries to smile as if he’s having the most natural way of communicating with the other boy. “So, what’s up with you these days?” He still tries.
“Busy.” Akanishi saw the boy on his girl uniform, standing in front of him makes another forced smile on his lips. “I’m in a middle of reading right now, so if you don’t have anything important-” he couldn’t finish his sentence when a girl suddenly disrupts them.
“Kame-chan, how’d you been?” Minami asked as if excited to see the other girl. “Here.” She handed a notes, “I made you notes while you were absent. Hide-sensei said you probably be absent for a week or two because you’re sick and needed to rest for a while. But hey, you’re here now though you don’t quite look too healthy right now.”
“I’m...fine. You don’t really have to trouble your self.”
“Don’t worry its okay. Are you sure you’re okay now? Maybe you still need some rest.”
“Please don’t make yourself worry about me. I’m totally fine.”
“Do you mind?” Jin started talking. The two looked at him. “Find a better place to have your chit chat? You’re disturbing my moment here.” He lifted his book. But Kame doesn’t want to talk to anybody other than Akanishi right now. But the other boy...apparently doesn’t want him to be around if possible...
Kame couldn’t help but feels the pain from the still fresh wound inside his chest. But he doesn’t want to give up yet. Right now, all he longed for is Akanishi Jin. He doesn’t care what people might think and he doesn’t want to mind anything or anyone right now. He looked at Minami. “Minami-chan, I’m really okay now.” He lifted the notes from his hands, “And thanks for these notes.” Then he took his own seat.
Minami wanted to console Kamenashi somehow. A sudden break up with someone you loved? She doesn’t know the reason behind it but she’s positive that the one who ended the bond was Akanishi... She knows that Kamenashi loves the boy and somehow she knows the pain Kamenashi was feeling right now. “Okay. But if there’s something you need... and if you want someone to talk to, I’m just here.”
Kame lifted up his gaze. “Thanks.” But that someone is none other than Akanishi Jin. The only person he wants to talk to right now is Akanishi Jin...
~+~
Three subjects are done. Kame now has a chance to talk to Akanishi while it’s lunch break.
This morning he put his heart to make two bentos, one for him and the other one is for Akanishi, though he’s pretty sure it’ll taste bad for Akanishi. He suddenly remembers the time when he’s really annoyed by the comment of the taller boy when he had a taste of the food he had made. Since then Akanishi made the food for them. And it certainly tastes the best.
A sad smile crept out on his lips. He misses the moment they eat together... He even misses the food Akanishi had cooked...
He was about to take out the bento from his bag when there were a few girls stood in front of Akanishi, offering the bento they made for the popular guy. Kame had a glimpse from several bentos. They certainly looked good. He can see how Akanishi cheerfully made a pick from each bento and a satisfaction speaks from his reaction after. Kame changed his mind. Probably Akanishi couldn’t eat the one he made anymore, after eating so many foods. He didn’t take out even his own bento; instead he stood up and decided to buy some from cafeteria for his lunch. Probably...No, he’s certain that Akanishi wouldn’t pay attention to the bento he heartily made. After all, it wouldn’t taste half as good as those girls’s bento...
But Kame didn’t give up yet. The bell rung and the students were now preparing to go home.
This time Kame decided to stand closer to Akanishi no mater what. It doesn’t mater where he lives or where he’s going; even the taller boy walks faster as if he’s not with anybody right now. Kame doesn’t care about such little matter. He attempts to start a conversation several times but he was only answered a ‘yes’, ‘no’ and ‘I don’t know’; but he couldn’t let the conversation to end this time. Until Akanishi suddenly stop walking, and ask him, “Could you please stop following me? It’s really annoying! And stop asking questions already, Alright?” then he made a step, “Don’t follow me this time.” As he speaks without averting his head back to look at Kame.
After a moment that the smaller boy left alone in a middle of a road somewhere and he couldn’t able to see even a shadow of Akanishi from his field of vision, a soundless laugh came out from his mouth and the unwanted tears wanted to burst from his eyes at the same time...
“I’m sucks...”
~+~
The next day, Kame still hopes that Akanishi might be back to his normal self once again. He tried his best to act as if nothing’s been wrong and nothing unwanted has ever happened between him and the taller boy. But still, what ever effort he had made, it seems like something is still missing... And whatever Akanishi did after, it only brings more pain on him.
He’s envious from other students whose now seems close with the popular guy. He feels jealous over the girls who Akanishi let to flirt with him. He’s desperate. He even had the thought of competing with those girls flirting with his former boyfriend. But the mere fact that he is a guy is a total lost on his part he knows.
He used to think that they were the same. He used to think that they both don’t want any attention as possible. They were the same. But that idea totally just had blown away, seeing the taller boy act like that...too friendly and suddenly becomes the most well-liked by all. And...How could Akanishi flirt with any girls now? When he first arrived at this school, the reason why they pretend they were a couple is that Akanishi doesn’t want those annoying girls around him. This flirting, Kame couldn’t help to think that maybe it’s intentional. Is he doing that to hurt him more? He’s hurting so much his heart bleeds. His mind is nearer to get insane if he don’t stop now.
He doesn’t know this Akanishi Jin anymore...
...
He wanted to stop now... Obviously Akanishi doesn’t want him back. He was just continuously sinking within his brain the idea that there’s still something between them. But Akanishi clearly states through his words and action that he doesn’t love him or have even a little feelings towards him. He just doesn’t want to see it that way...
He wanted to stop but how? His eyes searching for the taller boy all the time, his hand doesn’t want to stop writing Akanishi’s name from all the pages of his notebook. His mind wanted to get lose control by thinking Akanishi more...but his heart wanted to stop from bleeding... it seems wanted to get some rest and heal...
But how could it heal if he can always see Akanishi gives his sweetest smile to anyone but him? ...And even flirting with different girls...
~+~
Several days had passed. Akanishi was still distant to Kame. And if the latter tried to talk to him, he started walking away, and started having a conversation with those fangirls who’s dying to talk to him; leaving Kame another wound he could possibly cure for only heaven knows when...
The only thing Kame was still able to do is to watch the taller boy from a distance...
Kame still wanted to reconcile with Akanishi, even if it is only for friendship, it doesn’t matter. Even if he flirts with all of the woman in the world or gay in that matter, it doesn’t matter as long as the taller boy could look at him, smile at him and talk to him, even the stupidest conversation he could have with the other boy... It doesn’t matter at all...
But how is that?... Is that still possible when Akanishi doesn’t even throw a glance at him anymore....as if he doesn’t exist anymore...
~+~
Minami finds herself always checking out on Kamenashi. Obviously, she’s worried about Kame’s feelings towards Akanishi. She could sense that Kame couldn’t get over with Akanishi after all. But she’s wondering what’s gotten into Akanishi. Why he suddenly behave like that. Why he becomes like that towards Kame and suddenly becomes too friendly towards others. But more importantly, at this time, she wanted to comfort Kame. She knows Kame needs someone right now, a friend that is, who she could talk to with. But Kamenashi was blocking that possibility because all she could think of is Akanishi Jin who obviously doesn’t want her to be around.
~+~
It’s Saturday.
Another day that Kame wouldn’t be able to see Akanishi for one whole day, and make it two since the next day is Sunday.
He doesn’t have a heart to do anything other than bury himself from his bed that once became Akanishi’s bed. If possible, he wants to stay that way for the whole day but a door bell suddenly made a sound. Kame stumbled from getting off from his bed and hastily runs downstairs to the door. When he made it there, he paused, fixing his clothes, his hair and whatever he could fix first before opening the door because the first and only person he had actually had in his mind is none other that Akanishi Jin.
Is Akanishi finally wants to visit him?
He opens the door and...
“Hi!” Minami greets right after the door opens with a smile on her face but gradually fading away. “H-Hey...” she nervously utters as she doesn’t know what to say while staring at the boy who opens the door.
Kame’s just staring at the girl who accidentally discovers the truth he’s been keeping. Kame was wearing his own pajama and a baseball shirt. He totally forgot to change his clothes into some girly outfit because he was expecting to see Akanishi in front of their house, not anyone else.
“Hey.” He says, not having even a tiny surprise from his face.
“Anou... Ah...well... Are you...?”
“A boy? Yes, obviously.”
“Oh... I mean... You’re...”
“Kamenashi Kazuya? Yeah, I’m Kamenashi Kazuya.”
“You are? But... You’re supposed to be a girl...”
Kame’s not in the mood to have this conversation right now and he doesn’t care for whatever this might do him after. If his secret will be exposed by Minami or whoever, it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t care anymore.
~+~
Today is the last day of school before the summer vacation everybody’s been waiting.
But Kame doesn’t care about summer. He hasn’t talk to Akanishi Jin yet. They never make things clear between them. But maybe it’s too clear and Kame still want to have a better shade from it.
But this is the last day. They will never see each other for a month after this day... He couldn’t do anything after this.
...
Kame gets up from his bed too early in the morning as the velvet sky peeks from heaven. But even though he’s up that early, he rushed everything to get all set and then go to school.
It’s too early. No other students were arriving yet. Kame was standing at the side of the still close gate, waiting for it to open and waiting for Akanishi to arrive at school as the sun rises and started illuminating everything. The morning breeze makes him to quiver. It’s not that cold at this moment of month but being alone, standing outside, feels too cold to handle. He put his cold hand closer to his mouth and blew his air to heats it a bit.
When the sun finally rises and the gate is now wide open, the students starting to arrive. But couldn’t yet spot the person he’s been waiting.
Until the taller boy finally within his field of vision. His heart starts to race inside him. The boy looked at him and Kame felt a skipped from his heartbeat. But Akanishi let his stare travels towards the gate. Kame still waits for the taller boy to get closer to the gate.
And before Akanishi gets inside the school, his arm was grabbed by he-knows-who. He didn’t let go his arms away. Until they were somewhere away from anybody’s eyes and ears.
“What do you want from me now?” the taller boy asked without any feelings on it. Kame doesn’t figure out if Akanishi is angry or what.
“I wanted to talk to you all this time but you’re making a huge distance between us these days.”
“Because there’s nothing to talk about.” Akanishi utters and he was about to turn his back.
“I want to know,” Kame started. Akanishi suddenly halted and wait for the sentence to finish. “...if this is the real you. Or the Jin I used to know is the real one.”
How could Jin give an answer if he wasn’t sure himself when he became real...
He didn’t answer Kame’s question after all.
Kame realized that Akanishi doesn’t want to answer to that question.
“Did you...ever loved me? Another question throws at Akanishi. This time he knows what to answer.
“No.” Kame heard. “I never did.”
Kame makes a depressing chuckle, “Sou ka...” he kind of expecting that he could hear the taller boy answered him that words. But still, it ripped him more than ever.
Akanishi looked at him. “I gotta go. Let this be our last conversation. I don’t really want to talk to you anymore.”
“Why?” Kame abruptly asked before Akanishi leaves again. “If you want a break-up, okay I get it. But why are you saying you don’t wanna talk to me anymore? You said you didn’t...love me. Okay, I get that too. But what’s with the no-more-conversation? Can’t we be at least friends? Or maybe at least become normal classmates?” He paused as he waits for Akanishi’s respond.
“We can’t.”
“Why...?” Kame wanted to whine. Why can’t they become friends?! Is Akanishi hate him so much that they couldn’t be at least normal people towards each other? Just what exactly he had done?...
“Because I don’t want to.” Then he turns his back again and started making a step.
“If I’m a girl!...” Kame shouted that makes the other boy to stop once again. “If ever...I’m a real girl... is it still gonna end like this?”
The taller boy placed a furious stare at him. He move closer to Kame and fumingly grabbed the smaller boy’s uniform. Kame could see how mad Akanishi became.
“You!” Akanishi furiously muttered, “How could you not loved her?!”
~+~
----------------
A/N: I have to finish this soon. Sorry to keep you all waiting. I missed my computer.
Love some of your comments.
Chapter 13
Kame decided to go to school today. He was already been absent for four days. He needs to make up from what he had missed. He needs to borrow from any of his classmates' notebook and catch up to what they were studying now. There are too many things to be done. He needed to be at school soon so that he could start asking his classmates and then start self studying.
...
Who was he fooling?
That studying was never really the reason why he wanted to go back to school. He never intended to study and he never wanted to go to school from the first place. He doesn't care about that... He just wanted to see Akanishi... He misses the taller boy so badly he can't eat. He couldn't do anything. He couldn't think of anything other than Akanishi Jin. What was he doing now? Who was he with at this moment? Is he seeing someone already? A girl? Or maybe another boy who also captured his interest...
Kame tried his best to look as good as he could. But he couldn't be of what he used to... He obviously lost some weight. He got swollen eyes from crying every sleepless night... and was still ready to burst some tears from the thought of not having Akanishi around him. But he's trying his best to fight his emotions. He doesn't want Akanishi to saw him in that way. There's still something in him that keeps on giving him a light hope that maybe the taller boy misses him, that Akanishi will still find him attractive...interesting in some way if they happen to see each other at school.
All he wanted is to be beside with Akanishi... always.
He tried to act as normal as possible but as if all eyes were fixed on him, following wherever he's going.
How could he be himself when there were eyes studying him? He could even hear whispers everywhere. Maybe he's just being too paranoid. He's hearing whispers but it doesn't necessarily mean that they were talking about him. He never had been on the spot. Besides they never care about him.
At last, he made it to their class room. As he entered the room, again all of them were eyeing him. He tried not to look back at any eyes. His eyes immediately averted to Akanishi's seat. He was wrong. Not all eyes were plastered on him... Not the eyes he wished to stare at him... Akanishi was still at his own seat. He never changed. He still loves reading. But why he's not looking at him?
Everyone’s attention was at them. They were watching every step Kame would make, what's going to happen when she get closer to her former boyfriend? Is she going to talk to Akanishi? What would be Akanishi's reaction when the ex-girlfriend talked to him?
But Kame's vision only saw what he wanted to see. He didn't care about the gossip. He didn't care about the attention around him as he was getting closer to Akanishi. All he could hear was the loud noise of his heart beat banged against his chest.
He stopped in front of Akanishi. Seconds later, the boy finally lifted up his head and looked at him. Another bang from Kame's heart throbbing. Akanishi haven't changed from the day he has last seen the taller boy. He's as good looking as ever. Unlike him...
"What?" Akanishi asked nonchalant.
Kame couldn't possibly find a word to respond to that question but he doesn't want the conversation to just end like that without even a good start. He wanted to be talked by Akanishi, looked by Akanishi... and if possible...loved by him... But for now, he’s fine by simply having a conversation with the taller boy.
"H-How are you?" he nervously asked.
"Very much fine." Akanishi then answered with the same attitude as the day he broke up with Kame.
“Sou dane.” Kame tries to smile as if he’s having the most natural way of communicating with the other boy. “So, what’s up with you these days?” He still tries.
“Busy.” Akanishi saw the boy on his girl uniform, standing in front of him makes another forced smile on his lips. “I’m in a middle of reading right now, so if you don’t have anything important-” he couldn’t finish his sentence when a girl suddenly disrupts them.
“Kame-chan, how’d you been?” Minami asked as if excited to see the other girl. “Here.” She handed a notes, “I made you notes while you were absent. Hide-sensei said you probably be absent for a week or two because you’re sick and needed to rest for a while. But hey, you’re here now though you don’t quite look too healthy right now.”
“I’m...fine. You don’t really have to trouble your self.”
“Don’t worry its okay. Are you sure you’re okay now? Maybe you still need some rest.”
“Please don’t make yourself worry about me. I’m totally fine.”
“Do you mind?” Jin started talking. The two looked at him. “Find a better place to have your chit chat? You’re disturbing my moment here.” He lifted his book. But Kame doesn’t want to talk to anybody other than Akanishi right now. But the other boy...apparently doesn’t want him to be around if possible...
Kame couldn’t help but feels the pain from the still fresh wound inside his chest. But he doesn’t want to give up yet. Right now, all he longed for is Akanishi Jin. He doesn’t care what people might think and he doesn’t want to mind anything or anyone right now. He looked at Minami. “Minami-chan, I’m really okay now.” He lifted the notes from his hands, “And thanks for these notes.” Then he took his own seat.
Minami wanted to console Kamenashi somehow. A sudden break up with someone you loved? She doesn’t know the reason behind it but she’s positive that the one who ended the bond was Akanishi... She knows that Kamenashi loves the boy and somehow she knows the pain Kamenashi was feeling right now. “Okay. But if there’s something you need... and if you want someone to talk to, I’m just here.”
Kame lifted up his gaze. “Thanks.” But that someone is none other than Akanishi Jin. The only person he wants to talk to right now is Akanishi Jin...
~+~
Three subjects are done. Kame now has a chance to talk to Akanishi while it’s lunch break.
This morning he put his heart to make two bentos, one for him and the other one is for Akanishi, though he’s pretty sure it’ll taste bad for Akanishi. He suddenly remembers the time when he’s really annoyed by the comment of the taller boy when he had a taste of the food he had made. Since then Akanishi made the food for them. And it certainly tastes the best.
A sad smile crept out on his lips. He misses the moment they eat together... He even misses the food Akanishi had cooked...
He was about to take out the bento from his bag when there were a few girls stood in front of Akanishi, offering the bento they made for the popular guy. Kame had a glimpse from several bentos. They certainly looked good. He can see how Akanishi cheerfully made a pick from each bento and a satisfaction speaks from his reaction after. Kame changed his mind. Probably Akanishi couldn’t eat the one he made anymore, after eating so many foods. He didn’t take out even his own bento; instead he stood up and decided to buy some from cafeteria for his lunch. Probably...No, he’s certain that Akanishi wouldn’t pay attention to the bento he heartily made. After all, it wouldn’t taste half as good as those girls’s bento...
But Kame didn’t give up yet. The bell rung and the students were now preparing to go home.
This time Kame decided to stand closer to Akanishi no mater what. It doesn’t mater where he lives or where he’s going; even the taller boy walks faster as if he’s not with anybody right now. Kame doesn’t care about such little matter. He attempts to start a conversation several times but he was only answered a ‘yes’, ‘no’ and ‘I don’t know’; but he couldn’t let the conversation to end this time. Until Akanishi suddenly stop walking, and ask him, “Could you please stop following me? It’s really annoying! And stop asking questions already, Alright?” then he made a step, “Don’t follow me this time.” As he speaks without averting his head back to look at Kame.
After a moment that the smaller boy left alone in a middle of a road somewhere and he couldn’t able to see even a shadow of Akanishi from his field of vision, a soundless laugh came out from his mouth and the unwanted tears wanted to burst from his eyes at the same time...
“I’m sucks...”
~+~
The next day, Kame still hopes that Akanishi might be back to his normal self once again. He tried his best to act as if nothing’s been wrong and nothing unwanted has ever happened between him and the taller boy. But still, what ever effort he had made, it seems like something is still missing... And whatever Akanishi did after, it only brings more pain on him.
He’s envious from other students whose now seems close with the popular guy. He feels jealous over the girls who Akanishi let to flirt with him. He’s desperate. He even had the thought of competing with those girls flirting with his former boyfriend. But the mere fact that he is a guy is a total lost on his part he knows.
He used to think that they were the same. He used to think that they both don’t want any attention as possible. They were the same. But that idea totally just had blown away, seeing the taller boy act like that...too friendly and suddenly becomes the most well-liked by all. And...How could Akanishi flirt with any girls now? When he first arrived at this school, the reason why they pretend they were a couple is that Akanishi doesn’t want those annoying girls around him. This flirting, Kame couldn’t help to think that maybe it’s intentional. Is he doing that to hurt him more? He’s hurting so much his heart bleeds. His mind is nearer to get insane if he don’t stop now.
He doesn’t know this Akanishi Jin anymore...
...
He wanted to stop now... Obviously Akanishi doesn’t want him back. He was just continuously sinking within his brain the idea that there’s still something between them. But Akanishi clearly states through his words and action that he doesn’t love him or have even a little feelings towards him. He just doesn’t want to see it that way...
He wanted to stop but how? His eyes searching for the taller boy all the time, his hand doesn’t want to stop writing Akanishi’s name from all the pages of his notebook. His mind wanted to get lose control by thinking Akanishi more...but his heart wanted to stop from bleeding... it seems wanted to get some rest and heal...
But how could it heal if he can always see Akanishi gives his sweetest smile to anyone but him? ...And even flirting with different girls...
~+~
Several days had passed. Akanishi was still distant to Kame. And if the latter tried to talk to him, he started walking away, and started having a conversation with those fangirls who’s dying to talk to him; leaving Kame another wound he could possibly cure for only heaven knows when...
The only thing Kame was still able to do is to watch the taller boy from a distance...
Kame still wanted to reconcile with Akanishi, even if it is only for friendship, it doesn’t matter. Even if he flirts with all of the woman in the world or gay in that matter, it doesn’t matter as long as the taller boy could look at him, smile at him and talk to him, even the stupidest conversation he could have with the other boy... It doesn’t matter at all...
But how is that?... Is that still possible when Akanishi doesn’t even throw a glance at him anymore....as if he doesn’t exist anymore...
~+~
Minami finds herself always checking out on Kamenashi. Obviously, she’s worried about Kame’s feelings towards Akanishi. She could sense that Kame couldn’t get over with Akanishi after all. But she’s wondering what’s gotten into Akanishi. Why he suddenly behave like that. Why he becomes like that towards Kame and suddenly becomes too friendly towards others. But more importantly, at this time, she wanted to comfort Kame. She knows Kame needs someone right now, a friend that is, who she could talk to with. But Kamenashi was blocking that possibility because all she could think of is Akanishi Jin who obviously doesn’t want her to be around.
~+~
It’s Saturday.
Another day that Kame wouldn’t be able to see Akanishi for one whole day, and make it two since the next day is Sunday.
He doesn’t have a heart to do anything other than bury himself from his bed that once became Akanishi’s bed. If possible, he wants to stay that way for the whole day but a door bell suddenly made a sound. Kame stumbled from getting off from his bed and hastily runs downstairs to the door. When he made it there, he paused, fixing his clothes, his hair and whatever he could fix first before opening the door because the first and only person he had actually had in his mind is none other that Akanishi Jin.
Is Akanishi finally wants to visit him?
He opens the door and...
“Hi!” Minami greets right after the door opens with a smile on her face but gradually fading away. “H-Hey...” she nervously utters as she doesn’t know what to say while staring at the boy who opens the door.
Kame’s just staring at the girl who accidentally discovers the truth he’s been keeping. Kame was wearing his own pajama and a baseball shirt. He totally forgot to change his clothes into some girly outfit because he was expecting to see Akanishi in front of their house, not anyone else.
“Hey.” He says, not having even a tiny surprise from his face.
“Anou... Ah...well... Are you...?”
“A boy? Yes, obviously.”
“Oh... I mean... You’re...”
“Kamenashi Kazuya? Yeah, I’m Kamenashi Kazuya.”
“You are? But... You’re supposed to be a girl...”
Kame’s not in the mood to have this conversation right now and he doesn’t care for whatever this might do him after. If his secret will be exposed by Minami or whoever, it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t care anymore.
~+~
Today is the last day of school before the summer vacation everybody’s been waiting.
But Kame doesn’t care about summer. He hasn’t talk to Akanishi Jin yet. They never make things clear between them. But maybe it’s too clear and Kame still want to have a better shade from it.
But this is the last day. They will never see each other for a month after this day... He couldn’t do anything after this.
...
Kame gets up from his bed too early in the morning as the velvet sky peeks from heaven. But even though he’s up that early, he rushed everything to get all set and then go to school.
It’s too early. No other students were arriving yet. Kame was standing at the side of the still close gate, waiting for it to open and waiting for Akanishi to arrive at school as the sun rises and started illuminating everything. The morning breeze makes him to quiver. It’s not that cold at this moment of month but being alone, standing outside, feels too cold to handle. He put his cold hand closer to his mouth and blew his air to heats it a bit.
When the sun finally rises and the gate is now wide open, the students starting to arrive. But couldn’t yet spot the person he’s been waiting.
Until the taller boy finally within his field of vision. His heart starts to race inside him. The boy looked at him and Kame felt a skipped from his heartbeat. But Akanishi let his stare travels towards the gate. Kame still waits for the taller boy to get closer to the gate.
And before Akanishi gets inside the school, his arm was grabbed by he-knows-who. He didn’t let go his arms away. Until they were somewhere away from anybody’s eyes and ears.
“What do you want from me now?” the taller boy asked without any feelings on it. Kame doesn’t figure out if Akanishi is angry or what.
“I wanted to talk to you all this time but you’re making a huge distance between us these days.”
“Because there’s nothing to talk about.” Akanishi utters and he was about to turn his back.
“I want to know,” Kame started. Akanishi suddenly halted and wait for the sentence to finish. “...if this is the real you. Or the Jin I used to know is the real one.”
How could Jin give an answer if he wasn’t sure himself when he became real...
He didn’t answer Kame’s question after all.
Kame realized that Akanishi doesn’t want to answer to that question.
“Did you...ever loved me? Another question throws at Akanishi. This time he knows what to answer.
“No.” Kame heard. “I never did.”
Kame makes a depressing chuckle, “Sou ka...” he kind of expecting that he could hear the taller boy answered him that words. But still, it ripped him more than ever.
Akanishi looked at him. “I gotta go. Let this be our last conversation. I don’t really want to talk to you anymore.”
“Why?” Kame abruptly asked before Akanishi leaves again. “If you want a break-up, okay I get it. But why are you saying you don’t wanna talk to me anymore? You said you didn’t...love me. Okay, I get that too. But what’s with the no-more-conversation? Can’t we be at least friends? Or maybe at least become normal classmates?” He paused as he waits for Akanishi’s respond.
“We can’t.”
“Why...?” Kame wanted to whine. Why can’t they become friends?! Is Akanishi hate him so much that they couldn’t be at least normal people towards each other? Just what exactly he had done?...
“Because I don’t want to.” Then he turns his back again and started making a step.
“If I’m a girl!...” Kame shouted that makes the other boy to stop once again. “If ever...I’m a real girl... is it still gonna end like this?”
The taller boy placed a furious stare at him. He move closer to Kame and fumingly grabbed the smaller boy’s uniform. Kame could see how mad Akanishi became.
“You!” Akanishi furiously muttered, “How could you not loved her?!”
~+~
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A/N: I have to finish this soon. Sorry to keep you all waiting. I missed my computer.
Love some of your comments.