I feel like I have so much love waiting to be expressed it's almost overwhelming. I'm restless with it, I'm tired but I can't sleep - my mind is filled with thoughts of him. Like an echo that comes BEFORE the sound, I can already feel his touch faintly on my skin, anticipating its reality ( Read more... )

I'm starting to feel so disconnected with most of society. I find myself listening to the conversations people have and finding them shallow and boring. I want to talk about life, about death, about consciousness and spirituality, when all people seem to want to discuss is their jobs and their clothes and other meaningless SHIT. And then when I do ( Read more... )

 Ok, I'm going to attempt to write something of an update on my last post, but I'm pretty exhausted so please excuse me if this makes no sense whatsoever ( Read more... )

 I don't know what to do now. I woke up today with so much panic in my head that I just wanted it to end, I wanted nothing more than to feel alright. Then I got talking to David, and he was saying how he was writing some music. I had been too, so I thought it would be cool if I came round and we wrote some songs together. But I should stop asking. ( Read more... )

 I thought I was getting better, but I'm back where I was at age 15, starting the day with more tears than I thought I could possibly cry. I have no sense of direction, nothing I look forward to. Life is empty and painful and I want it to be over. I don't care if that sounds melodramatic, it's true. I don't know how to go on. I hate the thought of ( Read more... )

 Just thought I'd share the combined brain-vomit of myself and the amazing Mr Azmo from the other night. We somehow ended up with the idea of combining band names into portmanteau bands, and then wondering at what they might sound like... so here's a few I managed to remember, plus some random ones I'm just thinking of now:

(oh, and a disclaimer - ( Read more... )

 I've finally got more than one person reading this so-called journal now, so I figured I ought to write some things, though god knows what. These days I'm all out of inspiration. I can always fall back on bitching about people and the world in general, but somehow that seems a bit of an easy way out, doesn't it? I'd like to think I have something ( Read more... )

 I don't know what it is, but people just piss me off sometimes. And I mean this in the most selfish way possible, because what I'm really sick of is that people who look like they ought to be interesting and open-minded and fun turn out to be boring like everyone else. Is it too much to ask to meet some people who want to experience life like I ( Read more... )

 I am trying SO hard to be agreeable and happy, but some people are just driving me mad right now.

Suggestions about how to stay in a good mood when you feel like smashing something?


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Well, I'm in a MUCH better mood this evening, despite my sleepiness! My grandmother has arrived from Sydney and has settled in happily, tomorrow I'm seeing my favourite person in all the world, and most importantly, it's the weekend! So I can relax for a few days and not think about horrible horrible work. And I can finally get some Christmas ( Read more... )