Life and Breath Part 26
Title: Life and Breath
Author: Pink Rabbit Productions
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia
Part: 26
Date: 31 January, 2010
Rating: Personally, I'd call it an R, but some might consider some parts NC-17
Disclaimer: The characters and situations belong to other folks far wealthier, more important (or at least with better lawyers), and hopefully more charitable and kinder than I. They include, but are not necessarily limited to CBS, Proctor and Gamble, and Telenext. The actual arrangement of words, however, remains my own as do any original characters. Meanwhile, there is likely to be all female romantic and sexual activity ahead, so if this is likely to get you, me, or anybody else arrested should you take a gander, please move along. Also, if you find that sort of thing offensive, you really probably shouldn't hang around anyplace I'm posting. Just sayin'....
Archiving: The Pink Rabbit Consortium ( altfic.com )
Spoilers: Some early scenes definitely, plus anything through the spa trip is fair game.
Timeline: Unlike some folks, I don't have an exact scene where this one takes off. However, it's definitely set after the spa trip, but before Rafe's release from the halfway house. Oh, and it's after Natalia admits she's in love with Olivia to Father Ray.
Earlier Parts: | Part 1 (Prologue) | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Part 25 |
Life and Breath
Part 26
by Pink Rabbit Productions
Heaven. I'm in heaven...
The old song ran through Olivia's head as she stirred enough to be aware of the slim figure snuggled safely in her arms. They were on their sides, facing one another, Natalia's cheek pillowed on Olivia's chest and upper arm, one hand tucked into the hollow between her breasts, the other looped loosely around her waist. Olivia's arms were wrapped securely around the smaller woman, her nose buried in sweet smelling hair.
Was there someplace better than heaven?
Natalia's arms, she decided with a bleary smile.
Any further thought was shattered by the ring of her bedside phone and she abruptly realized what must have yanked her out of the welcome arms of sleep. A sleepy beat and then it rang again. Her heart suddenly in her throat-late night calls were seldom good news in her experience-she pushed up and reached across the woman ensconced in her arms, feeling her stir and mumble something unintelligible. "H'llo?" she said as she picked up, still shaking off the blur of sleep.
"Liv," her brother's voice, sounding ramped up and hyper-not exactly an unheard of state for Sam-came back almost instantly. "It's Sam."
Natalia blinked sleepily, a worried frown creasing her brow, obviously beset by the same fear of unexpected, late-night phone calls.
"Hey," she mumbled through a yawn, then held a hand over the receiver as she whispered to Natalia, "It's okay, it's Sam."
"You okay?" her brother asked, the words coming with machine-gun precision. "You sound kinda out of it."
"Other than the fact that it's 4:00 AM and I was sound asleep, I'm fine." Sam never had been very good with the concept of differing time zones.
"Good," Sam continued briskly.
"I'm guessing you got my call," Olivia said as she flicked on the bedside lamp and pushed into a sitting position, well aware that Natalia also pushed upright and leaned against her side.
"Yeah," Sam admitted, his speech patterns accelerating, "And I just called to tell you that if you're getting back with Josh, I'm flying out on the next plane to kick him to the curb and you in the ass."
"Sam-" Olivia began, but Sam never heard her. He was on a roll.
"I mean it, Liv. That man? He's an emotional menace where you're concerned because he'll make all sorts of promises, but he'll never really love you-"
"Sam-" Olivia tried again to break in on his rant, but he over-rode her in his intensity.
"No matter what he says, he's all about Reva, and when she calls-and you know she will-he's gonna run straight back to her...and then you'll go to insane lengths trying to make him love you and we all know how that comes out."
"SAM!" Olivia all but shouted, continuing before he could get another word out, "I'm not involved with Josh."
"You said you'd gotten a second chance," Sam accused, not quite believing her.
"Not with Josh!" Olivia exploded. "Good god, give me credit for being a little smarter than that."
There was the briefest of pauses, then Sam spoke again, sounding even more outraged if such a thing was possible. "Emma mentioned Phillip's back in her last letter...please tell me you haven't-"
"NO! He's not nuts anymore, but neither am I and-"
Sam didn't even pause to draw a breath before throwing out his next option. "I know Buzz seems nice, but don't you remember how he-"
"Sam!" Olivia snapped sharply, a little worried he was going to insist on naming everyone she'd ever been involved with. That could take all night-she felt Natalia lean more firmly against her-and she had far better things to do with her time. "I'm not seeing any of my exes."
"In your call...you said you'd gotten a second chance," he repeated. "And you're clearly involved with someone." His tone challenged her to deny the charge. "You can't blame me for thinking the obvious."
"Not all that obvious," Olivia shot back, "since I meant it metaphorically." Trust Sam to finally have a literal moment at the worst possible time. "As in I finally found someone who makes me feel..." she paused as she hunted for the right words, "...like everything's right and new...and like the future is limitless. It wasn't about getting back together with anyone. It was about restarting my life."
"Oh." He sounded a little embarrassed. "It's just that when I heard that..." he tried to explain, "...I know how you get around him...and how he goes after the nearest woman whenever he takes a sabbatical from Reva...and I just...I was worried you'd gotten back into that cycle."
Olivia couldn't entirely blame him for the fear. God knew, she'd tried more than once to restart that particular journey through hell. "I haven't," she said sincerely, her voice softer. She looked over at Natalia, sharing a private smile as she realized her lover-and oh, how she liked the sound of that-was massaging her shoulders soothingly. "This is something totally new," she said, speaking as much to the woman she loved as her brother. "Better than anything I've ever had before," she added, her voice low, her tone intimate. This time it was all for Natalia.
Sam Spencer knew his sister far too well to miss the clues. "He's there, isn't he?" he said, then demanded, "Let me to talk to him."
"Sam-" Olivia started to argue, but he cut her off, his voice losing the hard note and becoming entirely too reasonable, if still slightly faster than the average ferret on mega-doses of caffeine.
"You want me to trust...have faith...in your taste in men?" He sounded very doubtful about the idea. "Put him on, Liv, unless you know damn well I'll never approve."
Now there was a shot across her bow. She peered at Natalia who was watching her side of the exchange curiously. She knew her brother. Sweet, innocent Natalia would melt him into a little puddle. And if nothing else, Sam's left wing, PC street cred would demand he at least act like he was handling it well. She supposed she should warn him he was a she, but he'd annoyed her enough that she settled for warning him in other ways instead. "Be nice...or I'll break you into little pieces," she grumbled him, then thrust the phone at her lover.
Natalia frowned, then shook her head as she realized what Olivia was intended. "Wha'...oh no," she mouthed without making a sound, but Olivia just continued holding the phone out to her.
"Just trust me," the older woman said very softly.
"Olivia, I can't," the younger woman insisted, still not making a sound. "What would I say?"
"The truth," Olivia said very softly. "He's not going to back off until he talks to you."
Brown eyes slid closed and Natalia took a deep breath. She couldn't believe she was contemplating doing this. She opened her eyes again and found Olivia peering at her with a pleading look. In the background, she could just barely hear Sam's tinny requests to speak to "him." Finally, she held out a hand, accepting the phone. Fighting a wince, she tried not to sound to fake as she said, "Hi, Sam...you don't know me, but I know how much your sister loves you and how important your opinion is to her...and I really hope you and I can become friends." The words came out faster than she intended and she sounded just as nervous as she'd feared she would.
Dead silence.
"Uh-by the way," Natalia stammered nervously in an attempt to fill the silent void with a touch of levity, "just for the record, I'm not a man with a really high voice."
More dead silence, then finally a hesitant, "Thank you."
Which suggested Sam had actually been debating asking the question. Not too surprising considering Olivia's past, but still it rankled in some strange way. "Guess I should introduce myself," she said after another uncomfortable beat. "I'm Natalia Rivera."
She heard his sharp gasp, signaling he recognized her name. "Gus Aitoro's widow?" More silence, then a slowly spoken, "You...and...Olivia...are...are...together?" He sounded as though he had some serious doubts about his sanity.
"Yes." Straight-forward and to the point.
From what Olivia had said of her brother, it was probably the longest stretch of silence he'd managed since first learning to speak.
"How?" he asked at last.
Suddenly it was Olivia who had the task of delivering a soothing shoulder massage even as she debated snatching the phone back and telling her brother off before things went any farther.
Natalia, however, had a firm grip on the phone. Sam was Olivia's family, and there were things she needed him to understand. "At first...after the transplant," she began when she finally had some sense of how to start, "I had to make sure your sister survived because all that was left of Gus was in her...but then gradually, as we got to know each other...and I saw that there was so much more to her than I realized...somewhere along the way, it stopped being about Gus and became about her...about us."
Another long beat of the deader-than-dead silence, then finally Sam cleared his throat. "Do you love her?" he asked at last, any remaining bluster and aggression knocked right out of him.
"More than I ever knew was possible," Natalia said instantly while Olivia continued massaging her shoulders, her touch firm and warm and silently supportive.
"Why?" he asked, his voice low but intent, giving her the sense that he was looking for something specific, leaving her feeling like she was dealing with a schoolteacher looking for exactly the right spelling of there/their/they're on a test, but without the context of a sentence to give her a clue to the answer.
Just tell the truth, Natalia reminded herself of her lover's advice. She glanced over at Olivia, seeing so many emotions in glitter-green eyes. "Because when I spent time with her I started realizing just how amazing she is," she answered in a rush, then tried to find a way to put incredibly complex emotions into words. "She's smart and funny and snarky...and just about the time I'm ready to scream because she's hyper and driving me crazy, she does something so damn sweet and kind that it just about reduces me to tears. She makes me feel safe and loved...and I know I can trust her and rely on her no matter what."
"That sounds more like friendship. Are you sure you haven't confused-" Not hostile anymore, but definitely still skeptical.
"There are some details you don't give someone's brother," Natalia said softly, thinking of the night she'd just shared with Olivia. No, not just friendship at all. If she'd had any doubts, her response to Olivia's touch would have put those to rest. "We're sure," she added firmly before he could formulate any further arguments, then tried to explain, "We both wanted it to be nothing but friendship...tried to tell ourselves that's all it was," she told him, her voice intent as she remembered those stressful times. "Tried to pretend we weren't falling in love, but when it came down to it...we were." She saw Olivia smile and swallow hard, raw emotion glittering in her eyes. On impulse, Natalia reached out, stroking the corner of her lover's mouth with the pad of her thumb. "Your sister is everything to me."
"I just..." His voice faded out. A beat later he tried again. "This is a bit of a surprise," he said in a rare venture into the world of understatement.
"For us too," Natalia admitted. "Is this a problem for you?" she asked after a beat, giving voice to her worst fear. Sam's opinion meant so much to Olivia. It would hurt her no end to have him reject her or refuse to accept this part of her life. "My being a woman, I mean."
She heard his sharp intake of air, then a hard, almost angry, "No." She heard him exhale and draw another breath and had a sense he was settling his temper. When Sam began again, his voice was softer, almost placating, with a hint of what sounded like regret in his tone. "I'm okay...especially if you make my sister happy." He paused for a moment, leaving her with the sense he was considering his next words carefully. "I just worry," he admitted. "Liv needs someone who really loves her...isn't rebounding or just getting a thrill. She's had that and it nearly destroyed her...and a lot of other people too."
Natalia didn't take the warning personally. Olivia's past had been colorful. "This isn't about any of that," she assured him. "I love her...and this isn't anything simple or short term." She looked at Olivia again, speaking to her. "We want a life together...both of us...Emma too...I love that kid like she's my own."
He was silent again, but it wasn't the uncomfortable, stiff silence of moments before, but rather a more thoughtful quiet, leaving her with the sense he was digesting what she'd said. Finally, he simply said, "Would you please put my sister on?"
"He wants to talk to you," Natalia told Olivia as she passed the phone over.
"I hope you were on your best behavior, little brother," Olivia warned him.
He ignored her comment to complain, "That was a rotten trick."
"You weren't listening," she riposted, "and I figured Natalia might get your attention better than I could."
"I meant to play on her," he chastised.
"Maybe," Olivia allowed, "but would you have believed me if you hadn't talked to her?"
"Probably not," Sam admitted, then added on a more serious note, "Are you really sure about this?"
Olivia didn't answer quickly, instead giving the question the consideration it was due, silently retesting her emotions at her brother's request. As she considered the question, she became intently aware of the warmth of Natalia pressed up against her side, the cadence of her breathing, the shape of her body, the feel of a gentle hand stroking her arm. Turning her head she stared into mahogany eyes that glittered with love and loyalty and was treated to an adoring smile that made her retread heart skip several beats. In that instant, she had a flash of her life without Natalia-assuming she even had one, unlikely given her one-time determination to follow Gus into the grave-and it was a horror to behold; cold, lonely, bitter, with only Emma and Ava to lighten her days. "More than my life," she said at last. "I could list a hundred reasons...how good...smart...funny and beautiful she is...but it's not some logical laundry list...or something I can rationally explain. I just know I've never felt like this before...and I'm better with her than I ever was without her."
Sam was silent for a long moment, and when he finally spoke, his voice was thicker than normal. "I'm glad," he said at last. "All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. I hope you know that." His voice carried the emotional remnants of all the disagreements they'd had over her choices, but also a love that was more that of a child for a parent than a brother for his sister. He'd been a toddler when their mother died and it was Olivia who'd raised him, loved him, taught him right from wrong, and given him any stability he'd ever had in the world. Watching her turn away from the very values she'd raised him to hold dear had hurt him and hurt their relationship.
Olivia sighed softly, remembering past arguments. Sam had tried more than once to pull her back from the ledges of her own making, then been angry when she'd ignored his efforts and instead climbed to even more precarious heights. As much as they loved each other, it had put a strain on their relationship. "Of course I know that, Sam," she said at last. "I think that's one of the reasons I wanted you to know...because I'm the happiest and most content I've been in...maybe my whole adult life...and I hoped you'd be happy for me about that."
"I am," he assured her, his tone serious. He was silent for a beat, then he drew an audible breath and began again, his tone consciously lighter. "Look, I've got some time off...between projects and all that...any chance a visit would be welcome? I'd love to see you now that you're healthier...get a look at how much the munchkin has grown...meet the woman who's stolen my sister's heart."
"Sam, you're always welcome in my home...always," Olivia insisted, her tone intense. She looked over at Natalia who smiled and nodded her approval, then snuggled up against Olivia, her chin resting on her lover's shoulder. "We'd both love to have you."
There was relief in his voice when he replied. "I'll call you as soon as I have the details...let you know what my schedule is."
"I look forward to it. We really would love to have you visit...and I know Emma would be over the moon to see her Uncle Sam."
She could hear his smile in his voice as he replied. "She's a good kid." He was silent for a long moment. "I really am happy for you, Liv...and please assure Natalia that I don't have a problem with you being with a woman...I was just caught by surprise." He laughed softly. "Honestly, of all the things I might have predicted, that was nowhere on the list...and it took me a couple of minutes to get past that."
"It's okay...we still love you," she laughed softly, her mood lightening now that she had some semblance of her brother's blessing. They traded a few more teasing pleasantries, then Sam had to go. Finally, Olivia hung up and grinned as she leaned back into the arms wrapped loosely around her body. "A little shaky there...but overall, I think it went well."
Intensely aware of the warm curves tucked neatly in her hold, Natalia ducked her head to sink a slow kiss into the curve of Olivia's neck. "Mmm, he was a little worried, but hopefully I convinced him how much I love you."
"God, I love the sound of that," Olivia drawled with a happy smile. She turned her head, nuzzling Natalia's cheek.
"You love hearing how I was worried?" Natalia asked innocently.
"No, I love hearing the other part."
"Ah, how I convinced him not to worry?" Natalia teased.
"Nope, other other part," Olivia murmured, playing along.
"You mean, how I love you more than I ever knew was possible?" Natalia asked as straight faced as she could manage, though a tiny giggle snuck out at the end.
"That's the part," the older woman confirmed as she flopped back onto the mattress with a satisfied smile, amazed by how those simple words reached inside of her, touching some long buried core of emotion she'd nearly forgotten even existed. "Never stop saying it."
"That's the plan."
A flick of insecurity revealed itself in jade eyes. "You're sure?" Olivia whispered hesitantly. A hint of a frown creased her brow as it occurred to her that she really should have made sure Natalia was still okay with their lovemaking before assuming things. It was just that it had felt so right at the time. It was only now that any doubts occurred.
Natalia saw the moment her lover started to question herself. "Absolutely, one-hundred percent sure," she said decisively. "No doubts, no questions, and the only regret is that I waited this long to get here."
Relief glittered in Olivia's eyes and she blew out a soft breath. "I'm just glad you want to be here at all."
"Trust me, I do. I love you," Natalia said with extra emphasis. Then dark eyes tracked Olivia's movements as she relaxed, settling into the mattress and folding an arm behind her head. The younger woman trailed her gaze over warm curves, appreciating the easy grace and the smooth lines of muscle as they flexed and moved. "And you...are...exquisite," she whispered in awe, pronouncing each word with studied care.
Olivia was amazed to feel a blush slide over her skin. Not embarrassment precisely, but something akin to it. She'd had compliments by the dozen from other lovers, but none had ever made her feel this way: a little lost and at the same time, utterly found. Reaching out, she trailed a finger along the curve of Natalia's shoulder and down her arm, enjoying the texture and warmth of soft skin. "You're the one who's..." Overwhelmed by emotion, she choked off. A hard swallow and then she tried again. "I'm so grateful I found you."
Smiling tenderly, Natalia smoothed a few strands of auburn silk back from Olivia's brow, then threaded her fingers into the hair at her temple. "I hope you know it's mutual," she whispered. She sank down next to Olivia, stretching out alongside her lover, a delicate shiver working its way through her in response to the brush of bare skin on bare skin.
Green eyes slid closed as Olivia turned her cheek into Natalia's hand. "I think I'm finally starting to believe that," she exhaled.
"Believe it," Natalia urged, then arched closer to taste the warmth of Olivia's lips, molding their mouths together. The kiss was slow, sweet, a tender exploration that lasted until they were both breathless. A pleased smile curved her lips when they finally pulled away ever so slightly. "I don't know about you," she leaned close, nuzzling the curve of Olivia's throat, "but I'm not really very sleepy."
Olivia grinned, a sexy-sweet, come-hither expression that made Natalia's heart pound faster. "Gotta admit," she murmured thoughtfully, "I'm suddenly feeling kinda awake myself."
Natalia managed a delightfully inviting grin of her own as she scooted closer and hooked a calf around Olivia's thigh. "Think maybe we could find a way to burn off some excess energy?" she drawled.
Come-hither turned outright wicked as Olivia considered that proposition. "I think we can come up with something." Her fingers danced and played. "For instance, I thought this might be kinda fun."
Natalia gasped so sharply it was almost a squeal. "Oh yeah," she groaned. "Or we could go a slightly different direction," she murmured as she rolled Olivia beneath her, taking her weight on her hands in order to deliver a full body caress that left them both trembling.
"I like how you think," Olivia gasped.
"Mmm, thought you might."
Then the banter faded away as they reached for each other in earnest, hands moving, mouths tasting, bodies arching and coming together. They made love to a chorus of rustling sheets and brushing flesh, the sensual symphony punctuated by soft sounds of laughter and proclamations of love.
"Oh, my god," Olivia exhaled at last as she flopped back into the mattress, her body pleasantly boneless, nerve endings still throbbing. "It's a good thing Christina spent so much effort getting me back in shape," she panted. "That required both aerobic health and flexibility."
"Clearly I owe her a thank you note." Natalia sprawled against Olivia, intensely aware of the pace of her breathing, the texture of her skin, the rapid thud of her heart. "Because that was..." She trailed off. She just didn't have the words for this sort of thing.
The surprising thing was that Olivia's normally impressive vocabulary seemed to be equally inadequate for the occasion. "It most definitely was..." was the best she could manage.
A tiny giggle escaped full lips, the sound only slightly muffled against the curve of Olivia's shoulder.
"I love that sound," Olivia mused, her mouth turned up in a punch-drunk grin. "Not as much as that little sound you make when you're...y'know...but it runs a close second-"
Natalia would have been appalled if she weren't so pleased. She laughed softly and snuggled into the protective warmth of Olivia's arms, cheek resting on her lover's shoulder, arm splayed across her belly, legs loosely tangled. "You make some pretty appealing sounds of your own," she praised and ducked her head to press a small kiss onto Olivia's upper chest.
"Only for you," Olivia breathed. She couldn't contain a tiny, giddy laugh. "Because that little thing toward the end...I have definitely never made a sound like that before." She shook her head dazedly. "In fact, if you'd asked, I would have said I couldn't make a sound like that...because that? That was at least an octave out of my usual range."
Another delicate kiss, then Natalia settled her cheek on her lover's chest, the sound of her heartbeat ringing in her ears. "I take it the lady approves?"
Turning her head, Olivia pressed a soft kiss to the top of Natalia's head. "The lady adores," she sighed happily, more content than she'd ever known was possible. "And loves..." Another giddy laugh. "And she really, really enjoyed herself." She peered down at the woman ensconced in her arms, her expression silently questioning.
Natalia grinned. "Cadging for compliments?"
"Hoping anyway," Olivia allowed, her tone sing-song.
Her expression serious, Natalia turned to kiss her way up the length of the Olivia's throat until her lips brushed the delicate shell of her lover's ear. Her voice so soft as to be nearly inaudible, her breath teased Olivia's ear as she confessed just how thoroughly she'd enjoyed herself, describing the rich swell of emotion and sensation that had driven her response to their lovemaking, the softly spoken words somehow both innocent and explicit at the same time.
Even as the words spilled from her lips, it occurred to her that she could never have done something like this with anyone else, perhaps not even with Olivia were it not for the enveloping darkness and barely audible whispers. There was safety and freedom in the dark and the quiet.
If anyone had asked Olivia why she simply laid silently during the tumble of words, she would have insisted it was to allow Natalia time to explore her feelings. In reality, she couldn't have said anything beyond an incoherent moan if her life depended on it. Her heart pounded and her toes curled as she wondered if it was possible to explode just listening to someone else. But cohesive thought? Definitely nowhere on the menu.
When Natalia finally seemed to run out of details that seemed specially designed just to arouse, Olivia felt the brush of sharp teeth on her earlobe and the slow massage of a gentle hand on her stomach. "You were sent by the competition to kill me, weren't you?" she mumbled dazedly, amazed to feel her body responding yet again.
Cupping a hand along the side of Olivia's face, Natalia drew her head around until they were facing each other. "Killing is nowhere on the list of things I wanna do to you," she drawled.
"Really, I could have sworn le petit mort was at the top in giant red letters," Olivia disagreed, then felt her lover's confused look. "I'll explain later," she mumbled as she rolled and surged against the warmth of Natalia's body. A smile touched her lips as strong hands reached for her shoulders, every touch communicating shared desire. "Or maybe I'll just show you," she whispered against silky skin.
"Olivia," Natalia pleaded, back arching in search of more sweet contact.
The woman above her grinned as she fluttered kisses here and there, slowly working her way lower. It was never too late for a few French lessons....
* * * * * *
TBC
Author: Pink Rabbit Productions
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia
Part: 26
Date: 31 January, 2010
Rating: Personally, I'd call it an R, but some might consider some parts NC-17
Disclaimer: The characters and situations belong to other folks far wealthier, more important (or at least with better lawyers), and hopefully more charitable and kinder than I. They include, but are not necessarily limited to CBS, Proctor and Gamble, and Telenext. The actual arrangement of words, however, remains my own as do any original characters. Meanwhile, there is likely to be all female romantic and sexual activity ahead, so if this is likely to get you, me, or anybody else arrested should you take a gander, please move along. Also, if you find that sort of thing offensive, you really probably shouldn't hang around anyplace I'm posting. Just sayin'....
Archiving: The Pink Rabbit Consortium ( altfic.com )
Spoilers: Some early scenes definitely, plus anything through the spa trip is fair game.
Timeline: Unlike some folks, I don't have an exact scene where this one takes off. However, it's definitely set after the spa trip, but before Rafe's release from the halfway house. Oh, and it's after Natalia admits she's in love with Olivia to Father Ray.
Earlier Parts: | Part 1 (Prologue) | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Part 25 |
Life and Breath
Part 26
by Pink Rabbit Productions
Heaven. I'm in heaven...
The old song ran through Olivia's head as she stirred enough to be aware of the slim figure snuggled safely in her arms. They were on their sides, facing one another, Natalia's cheek pillowed on Olivia's chest and upper arm, one hand tucked into the hollow between her breasts, the other looped loosely around her waist. Olivia's arms were wrapped securely around the smaller woman, her nose buried in sweet smelling hair.
Was there someplace better than heaven?
Natalia's arms, she decided with a bleary smile.
Any further thought was shattered by the ring of her bedside phone and she abruptly realized what must have yanked her out of the welcome arms of sleep. A sleepy beat and then it rang again. Her heart suddenly in her throat-late night calls were seldom good news in her experience-she pushed up and reached across the woman ensconced in her arms, feeling her stir and mumble something unintelligible. "H'llo?" she said as she picked up, still shaking off the blur of sleep.
"Liv," her brother's voice, sounding ramped up and hyper-not exactly an unheard of state for Sam-came back almost instantly. "It's Sam."
Natalia blinked sleepily, a worried frown creasing her brow, obviously beset by the same fear of unexpected, late-night phone calls.
"Hey," she mumbled through a yawn, then held a hand over the receiver as she whispered to Natalia, "It's okay, it's Sam."
"You okay?" her brother asked, the words coming with machine-gun precision. "You sound kinda out of it."
"Other than the fact that it's 4:00 AM and I was sound asleep, I'm fine." Sam never had been very good with the concept of differing time zones.
"Good," Sam continued briskly.
"I'm guessing you got my call," Olivia said as she flicked on the bedside lamp and pushed into a sitting position, well aware that Natalia also pushed upright and leaned against her side.
"Yeah," Sam admitted, his speech patterns accelerating, "And I just called to tell you that if you're getting back with Josh, I'm flying out on the next plane to kick him to the curb and you in the ass."
"Sam-" Olivia began, but Sam never heard her. He was on a roll.
"I mean it, Liv. That man? He's an emotional menace where you're concerned because he'll make all sorts of promises, but he'll never really love you-"
"Sam-" Olivia tried again to break in on his rant, but he over-rode her in his intensity.
"No matter what he says, he's all about Reva, and when she calls-and you know she will-he's gonna run straight back to her...and then you'll go to insane lengths trying to make him love you and we all know how that comes out."
"SAM!" Olivia all but shouted, continuing before he could get another word out, "I'm not involved with Josh."
"You said you'd gotten a second chance," Sam accused, not quite believing her.
"Not with Josh!" Olivia exploded. "Good god, give me credit for being a little smarter than that."
There was the briefest of pauses, then Sam spoke again, sounding even more outraged if such a thing was possible. "Emma mentioned Phillip's back in her last letter...please tell me you haven't-"
"NO! He's not nuts anymore, but neither am I and-"
Sam didn't even pause to draw a breath before throwing out his next option. "I know Buzz seems nice, but don't you remember how he-"
"Sam!" Olivia snapped sharply, a little worried he was going to insist on naming everyone she'd ever been involved with. That could take all night-she felt Natalia lean more firmly against her-and she had far better things to do with her time. "I'm not seeing any of my exes."
"In your call...you said you'd gotten a second chance," he repeated. "And you're clearly involved with someone." His tone challenged her to deny the charge. "You can't blame me for thinking the obvious."
"Not all that obvious," Olivia shot back, "since I meant it metaphorically." Trust Sam to finally have a literal moment at the worst possible time. "As in I finally found someone who makes me feel..." she paused as she hunted for the right words, "...like everything's right and new...and like the future is limitless. It wasn't about getting back together with anyone. It was about restarting my life."
"Oh." He sounded a little embarrassed. "It's just that when I heard that..." he tried to explain, "...I know how you get around him...and how he goes after the nearest woman whenever he takes a sabbatical from Reva...and I just...I was worried you'd gotten back into that cycle."
Olivia couldn't entirely blame him for the fear. God knew, she'd tried more than once to restart that particular journey through hell. "I haven't," she said sincerely, her voice softer. She looked over at Natalia, sharing a private smile as she realized her lover-and oh, how she liked the sound of that-was massaging her shoulders soothingly. "This is something totally new," she said, speaking as much to the woman she loved as her brother. "Better than anything I've ever had before," she added, her voice low, her tone intimate. This time it was all for Natalia.
Sam Spencer knew his sister far too well to miss the clues. "He's there, isn't he?" he said, then demanded, "Let me to talk to him."
"Sam-" Olivia started to argue, but he cut her off, his voice losing the hard note and becoming entirely too reasonable, if still slightly faster than the average ferret on mega-doses of caffeine.
"You want me to trust...have faith...in your taste in men?" He sounded very doubtful about the idea. "Put him on, Liv, unless you know damn well I'll never approve."
Now there was a shot across her bow. She peered at Natalia who was watching her side of the exchange curiously. She knew her brother. Sweet, innocent Natalia would melt him into a little puddle. And if nothing else, Sam's left wing, PC street cred would demand he at least act like he was handling it well. She supposed she should warn him he was a she, but he'd annoyed her enough that she settled for warning him in other ways instead. "Be nice...or I'll break you into little pieces," she grumbled him, then thrust the phone at her lover.
Natalia frowned, then shook her head as she realized what Olivia was intended. "Wha'...oh no," she mouthed without making a sound, but Olivia just continued holding the phone out to her.
"Just trust me," the older woman said very softly.
"Olivia, I can't," the younger woman insisted, still not making a sound. "What would I say?"
"The truth," Olivia said very softly. "He's not going to back off until he talks to you."
Brown eyes slid closed and Natalia took a deep breath. She couldn't believe she was contemplating doing this. She opened her eyes again and found Olivia peering at her with a pleading look. In the background, she could just barely hear Sam's tinny requests to speak to "him." Finally, she held out a hand, accepting the phone. Fighting a wince, she tried not to sound to fake as she said, "Hi, Sam...you don't know me, but I know how much your sister loves you and how important your opinion is to her...and I really hope you and I can become friends." The words came out faster than she intended and she sounded just as nervous as she'd feared she would.
Dead silence.
"Uh-by the way," Natalia stammered nervously in an attempt to fill the silent void with a touch of levity, "just for the record, I'm not a man with a really high voice."
More dead silence, then finally a hesitant, "Thank you."
Which suggested Sam had actually been debating asking the question. Not too surprising considering Olivia's past, but still it rankled in some strange way. "Guess I should introduce myself," she said after another uncomfortable beat. "I'm Natalia Rivera."
She heard his sharp gasp, signaling he recognized her name. "Gus Aitoro's widow?" More silence, then a slowly spoken, "You...and...Olivia...are...are...together?" He sounded as though he had some serious doubts about his sanity.
"Yes." Straight-forward and to the point.
From what Olivia had said of her brother, it was probably the longest stretch of silence he'd managed since first learning to speak.
"How?" he asked at last.
Suddenly it was Olivia who had the task of delivering a soothing shoulder massage even as she debated snatching the phone back and telling her brother off before things went any farther.
Natalia, however, had a firm grip on the phone. Sam was Olivia's family, and there were things she needed him to understand. "At first...after the transplant," she began when she finally had some sense of how to start, "I had to make sure your sister survived because all that was left of Gus was in her...but then gradually, as we got to know each other...and I saw that there was so much more to her than I realized...somewhere along the way, it stopped being about Gus and became about her...about us."
Another long beat of the deader-than-dead silence, then finally Sam cleared his throat. "Do you love her?" he asked at last, any remaining bluster and aggression knocked right out of him.
"More than I ever knew was possible," Natalia said instantly while Olivia continued massaging her shoulders, her touch firm and warm and silently supportive.
"Why?" he asked, his voice low but intent, giving her the sense that he was looking for something specific, leaving her feeling like she was dealing with a schoolteacher looking for exactly the right spelling of there/their/they're on a test, but without the context of a sentence to give her a clue to the answer.
Just tell the truth, Natalia reminded herself of her lover's advice. She glanced over at Olivia, seeing so many emotions in glitter-green eyes. "Because when I spent time with her I started realizing just how amazing she is," she answered in a rush, then tried to find a way to put incredibly complex emotions into words. "She's smart and funny and snarky...and just about the time I'm ready to scream because she's hyper and driving me crazy, she does something so damn sweet and kind that it just about reduces me to tears. She makes me feel safe and loved...and I know I can trust her and rely on her no matter what."
"That sounds more like friendship. Are you sure you haven't confused-" Not hostile anymore, but definitely still skeptical.
"There are some details you don't give someone's brother," Natalia said softly, thinking of the night she'd just shared with Olivia. No, not just friendship at all. If she'd had any doubts, her response to Olivia's touch would have put those to rest. "We're sure," she added firmly before he could formulate any further arguments, then tried to explain, "We both wanted it to be nothing but friendship...tried to tell ourselves that's all it was," she told him, her voice intent as she remembered those stressful times. "Tried to pretend we weren't falling in love, but when it came down to it...we were." She saw Olivia smile and swallow hard, raw emotion glittering in her eyes. On impulse, Natalia reached out, stroking the corner of her lover's mouth with the pad of her thumb. "Your sister is everything to me."
"I just..." His voice faded out. A beat later he tried again. "This is a bit of a surprise," he said in a rare venture into the world of understatement.
"For us too," Natalia admitted. "Is this a problem for you?" she asked after a beat, giving voice to her worst fear. Sam's opinion meant so much to Olivia. It would hurt her no end to have him reject her or refuse to accept this part of her life. "My being a woman, I mean."
She heard his sharp intake of air, then a hard, almost angry, "No." She heard him exhale and draw another breath and had a sense he was settling his temper. When Sam began again, his voice was softer, almost placating, with a hint of what sounded like regret in his tone. "I'm okay...especially if you make my sister happy." He paused for a moment, leaving her with the sense he was considering his next words carefully. "I just worry," he admitted. "Liv needs someone who really loves her...isn't rebounding or just getting a thrill. She's had that and it nearly destroyed her...and a lot of other people too."
Natalia didn't take the warning personally. Olivia's past had been colorful. "This isn't about any of that," she assured him. "I love her...and this isn't anything simple or short term." She looked at Olivia again, speaking to her. "We want a life together...both of us...Emma too...I love that kid like she's my own."
He was silent again, but it wasn't the uncomfortable, stiff silence of moments before, but rather a more thoughtful quiet, leaving her with the sense he was digesting what she'd said. Finally, he simply said, "Would you please put my sister on?"
"He wants to talk to you," Natalia told Olivia as she passed the phone over.
"I hope you were on your best behavior, little brother," Olivia warned him.
He ignored her comment to complain, "That was a rotten trick."
"You weren't listening," she riposted, "and I figured Natalia might get your attention better than I could."
"I meant to play on her," he chastised.
"Maybe," Olivia allowed, "but would you have believed me if you hadn't talked to her?"
"Probably not," Sam admitted, then added on a more serious note, "Are you really sure about this?"
Olivia didn't answer quickly, instead giving the question the consideration it was due, silently retesting her emotions at her brother's request. As she considered the question, she became intently aware of the warmth of Natalia pressed up against her side, the cadence of her breathing, the shape of her body, the feel of a gentle hand stroking her arm. Turning her head she stared into mahogany eyes that glittered with love and loyalty and was treated to an adoring smile that made her retread heart skip several beats. In that instant, she had a flash of her life without Natalia-assuming she even had one, unlikely given her one-time determination to follow Gus into the grave-and it was a horror to behold; cold, lonely, bitter, with only Emma and Ava to lighten her days. "More than my life," she said at last. "I could list a hundred reasons...how good...smart...funny and beautiful she is...but it's not some logical laundry list...or something I can rationally explain. I just know I've never felt like this before...and I'm better with her than I ever was without her."
Sam was silent for a long moment, and when he finally spoke, his voice was thicker than normal. "I'm glad," he said at last. "All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. I hope you know that." His voice carried the emotional remnants of all the disagreements they'd had over her choices, but also a love that was more that of a child for a parent than a brother for his sister. He'd been a toddler when their mother died and it was Olivia who'd raised him, loved him, taught him right from wrong, and given him any stability he'd ever had in the world. Watching her turn away from the very values she'd raised him to hold dear had hurt him and hurt their relationship.
Olivia sighed softly, remembering past arguments. Sam had tried more than once to pull her back from the ledges of her own making, then been angry when she'd ignored his efforts and instead climbed to even more precarious heights. As much as they loved each other, it had put a strain on their relationship. "Of course I know that, Sam," she said at last. "I think that's one of the reasons I wanted you to know...because I'm the happiest and most content I've been in...maybe my whole adult life...and I hoped you'd be happy for me about that."
"I am," he assured her, his tone serious. He was silent for a beat, then he drew an audible breath and began again, his tone consciously lighter. "Look, I've got some time off...between projects and all that...any chance a visit would be welcome? I'd love to see you now that you're healthier...get a look at how much the munchkin has grown...meet the woman who's stolen my sister's heart."
"Sam, you're always welcome in my home...always," Olivia insisted, her tone intense. She looked over at Natalia who smiled and nodded her approval, then snuggled up against Olivia, her chin resting on her lover's shoulder. "We'd both love to have you."
There was relief in his voice when he replied. "I'll call you as soon as I have the details...let you know what my schedule is."
"I look forward to it. We really would love to have you visit...and I know Emma would be over the moon to see her Uncle Sam."
She could hear his smile in his voice as he replied. "She's a good kid." He was silent for a long moment. "I really am happy for you, Liv...and please assure Natalia that I don't have a problem with you being with a woman...I was just caught by surprise." He laughed softly. "Honestly, of all the things I might have predicted, that was nowhere on the list...and it took me a couple of minutes to get past that."
"It's okay...we still love you," she laughed softly, her mood lightening now that she had some semblance of her brother's blessing. They traded a few more teasing pleasantries, then Sam had to go. Finally, Olivia hung up and grinned as she leaned back into the arms wrapped loosely around her body. "A little shaky there...but overall, I think it went well."
Intensely aware of the warm curves tucked neatly in her hold, Natalia ducked her head to sink a slow kiss into the curve of Olivia's neck. "Mmm, he was a little worried, but hopefully I convinced him how much I love you."
"God, I love the sound of that," Olivia drawled with a happy smile. She turned her head, nuzzling Natalia's cheek.
"You love hearing how I was worried?" Natalia asked innocently.
"No, I love hearing the other part."
"Ah, how I convinced him not to worry?" Natalia teased.
"Nope, other other part," Olivia murmured, playing along.
"You mean, how I love you more than I ever knew was possible?" Natalia asked as straight faced as she could manage, though a tiny giggle snuck out at the end.
"That's the part," the older woman confirmed as she flopped back onto the mattress with a satisfied smile, amazed by how those simple words reached inside of her, touching some long buried core of emotion she'd nearly forgotten even existed. "Never stop saying it."
"That's the plan."
A flick of insecurity revealed itself in jade eyes. "You're sure?" Olivia whispered hesitantly. A hint of a frown creased her brow as it occurred to her that she really should have made sure Natalia was still okay with their lovemaking before assuming things. It was just that it had felt so right at the time. It was only now that any doubts occurred.
Natalia saw the moment her lover started to question herself. "Absolutely, one-hundred percent sure," she said decisively. "No doubts, no questions, and the only regret is that I waited this long to get here."
Relief glittered in Olivia's eyes and she blew out a soft breath. "I'm just glad you want to be here at all."
"Trust me, I do. I love you," Natalia said with extra emphasis. Then dark eyes tracked Olivia's movements as she relaxed, settling into the mattress and folding an arm behind her head. The younger woman trailed her gaze over warm curves, appreciating the easy grace and the smooth lines of muscle as they flexed and moved. "And you...are...exquisite," she whispered in awe, pronouncing each word with studied care.
Olivia was amazed to feel a blush slide over her skin. Not embarrassment precisely, but something akin to it. She'd had compliments by the dozen from other lovers, but none had ever made her feel this way: a little lost and at the same time, utterly found. Reaching out, she trailed a finger along the curve of Natalia's shoulder and down her arm, enjoying the texture and warmth of soft skin. "You're the one who's..." Overwhelmed by emotion, she choked off. A hard swallow and then she tried again. "I'm so grateful I found you."
Smiling tenderly, Natalia smoothed a few strands of auburn silk back from Olivia's brow, then threaded her fingers into the hair at her temple. "I hope you know it's mutual," she whispered. She sank down next to Olivia, stretching out alongside her lover, a delicate shiver working its way through her in response to the brush of bare skin on bare skin.
Green eyes slid closed as Olivia turned her cheek into Natalia's hand. "I think I'm finally starting to believe that," she exhaled.
"Believe it," Natalia urged, then arched closer to taste the warmth of Olivia's lips, molding their mouths together. The kiss was slow, sweet, a tender exploration that lasted until they were both breathless. A pleased smile curved her lips when they finally pulled away ever so slightly. "I don't know about you," she leaned close, nuzzling the curve of Olivia's throat, "but I'm not really very sleepy."
Olivia grinned, a sexy-sweet, come-hither expression that made Natalia's heart pound faster. "Gotta admit," she murmured thoughtfully, "I'm suddenly feeling kinda awake myself."
Natalia managed a delightfully inviting grin of her own as she scooted closer and hooked a calf around Olivia's thigh. "Think maybe we could find a way to burn off some excess energy?" she drawled.
Come-hither turned outright wicked as Olivia considered that proposition. "I think we can come up with something." Her fingers danced and played. "For instance, I thought this might be kinda fun."
Natalia gasped so sharply it was almost a squeal. "Oh yeah," she groaned. "Or we could go a slightly different direction," she murmured as she rolled Olivia beneath her, taking her weight on her hands in order to deliver a full body caress that left them both trembling.
"I like how you think," Olivia gasped.
"Mmm, thought you might."
Then the banter faded away as they reached for each other in earnest, hands moving, mouths tasting, bodies arching and coming together. They made love to a chorus of rustling sheets and brushing flesh, the sensual symphony punctuated by soft sounds of laughter and proclamations of love.
"Oh, my god," Olivia exhaled at last as she flopped back into the mattress, her body pleasantly boneless, nerve endings still throbbing. "It's a good thing Christina spent so much effort getting me back in shape," she panted. "That required both aerobic health and flexibility."
"Clearly I owe her a thank you note." Natalia sprawled against Olivia, intensely aware of the pace of her breathing, the texture of her skin, the rapid thud of her heart. "Because that was..." She trailed off. She just didn't have the words for this sort of thing.
The surprising thing was that Olivia's normally impressive vocabulary seemed to be equally inadequate for the occasion. "It most definitely was..." was the best she could manage.
A tiny giggle escaped full lips, the sound only slightly muffled against the curve of Olivia's shoulder.
"I love that sound," Olivia mused, her mouth turned up in a punch-drunk grin. "Not as much as that little sound you make when you're...y'know...but it runs a close second-"
Natalia would have been appalled if she weren't so pleased. She laughed softly and snuggled into the protective warmth of Olivia's arms, cheek resting on her lover's shoulder, arm splayed across her belly, legs loosely tangled. "You make some pretty appealing sounds of your own," she praised and ducked her head to press a small kiss onto Olivia's upper chest.
"Only for you," Olivia breathed. She couldn't contain a tiny, giddy laugh. "Because that little thing toward the end...I have definitely never made a sound like that before." She shook her head dazedly. "In fact, if you'd asked, I would have said I couldn't make a sound like that...because that? That was at least an octave out of my usual range."
Another delicate kiss, then Natalia settled her cheek on her lover's chest, the sound of her heartbeat ringing in her ears. "I take it the lady approves?"
Turning her head, Olivia pressed a soft kiss to the top of Natalia's head. "The lady adores," she sighed happily, more content than she'd ever known was possible. "And loves..." Another giddy laugh. "And she really, really enjoyed herself." She peered down at the woman ensconced in her arms, her expression silently questioning.
Natalia grinned. "Cadging for compliments?"
"Hoping anyway," Olivia allowed, her tone sing-song.
Her expression serious, Natalia turned to kiss her way up the length of the Olivia's throat until her lips brushed the delicate shell of her lover's ear. Her voice so soft as to be nearly inaudible, her breath teased Olivia's ear as she confessed just how thoroughly she'd enjoyed herself, describing the rich swell of emotion and sensation that had driven her response to their lovemaking, the softly spoken words somehow both innocent and explicit at the same time.
Even as the words spilled from her lips, it occurred to her that she could never have done something like this with anyone else, perhaps not even with Olivia were it not for the enveloping darkness and barely audible whispers. There was safety and freedom in the dark and the quiet.
If anyone had asked Olivia why she simply laid silently during the tumble of words, she would have insisted it was to allow Natalia time to explore her feelings. In reality, she couldn't have said anything beyond an incoherent moan if her life depended on it. Her heart pounded and her toes curled as she wondered if it was possible to explode just listening to someone else. But cohesive thought? Definitely nowhere on the menu.
When Natalia finally seemed to run out of details that seemed specially designed just to arouse, Olivia felt the brush of sharp teeth on her earlobe and the slow massage of a gentle hand on her stomach. "You were sent by the competition to kill me, weren't you?" she mumbled dazedly, amazed to feel her body responding yet again.
Cupping a hand along the side of Olivia's face, Natalia drew her head around until they were facing each other. "Killing is nowhere on the list of things I wanna do to you," she drawled.
"Really, I could have sworn le petit mort was at the top in giant red letters," Olivia disagreed, then felt her lover's confused look. "I'll explain later," she mumbled as she rolled and surged against the warmth of Natalia's body. A smile touched her lips as strong hands reached for her shoulders, every touch communicating shared desire. "Or maybe I'll just show you," she whispered against silky skin.
"Olivia," Natalia pleaded, back arching in search of more sweet contact.
The woman above her grinned as she fluttered kisses here and there, slowly working her way lower. It was never too late for a few French lessons....
* * * * * *
TBC