Lots of massive binging has been going on here. I'm quite rotund and the hate and disgust I feel for myself is immeasurable. I've started walking again but it seems to only make me more hungry these days. I will never lose weight at this rate. I don't want to be this fat forever.

I hadn't walked in over a week and I've been down to one or two times a week vs the five to six days I used to do. That plus binging has made me 20 lbs heavier. Today I decided to walk and jog the little bits between streets. I was SO not up for it. I felt heavy and like I was bent forward at first then I started pitching forward and I fell. I ( Read more... )

Officially FAT.

Officially over 20 lbs heavier now. I don't know how I let it get this bad. :(

I think this was the most fattening month I've seen in years. Little exercise and big binges. March better be better.

Major binging every day lately with no stop in sight. I'm doing myself in / wrecking everything.

Huge binge, as usual. 10-15 pounds heavier now. I can't believe it. I look so different. I hate this.

I've quit exercising. Have eaten a house. Need to die.

Two binges. Basically I ate all day. Mostly out of boredom, or rather to have something to do. I realized I don't know what to do when I'm not eating. I will have big repercussions from today. I forget how bad I'm going to feel by the time I'm done. Today was just really narcissistic and shameful. I'm scared I can't stop eating.

I think I'm having a panic attack, I am so disgusted with myself. I'm hot and sweaty and shaky and sick to my stomach. I can't go back to fat!