I've gained so much weight, so rapidly, that I can hardly believe it. I will have to move the button hole on my belt to make it looser. I feel so sick inside. I can't keep going like this or I'll end up back where I was last year. The depression from this is going to kill me, or at least I'll be wanting it to. I'm scared.

It hurts to be in a sitting position. I did it again. :(

No exercise and TWO binges out of control. I hurt, I'm sick. This has been the worst day this year. I don't know how to recover from this. Yesterday was bad and it led to this. What will tomorrow be like? Yes, I want to die again. I'm only complaining because I have nothing else to say, and I want it known that I'm a pig. I don't need ( Read more... )

Easily the biggest binge I've had in weeks. And that's saying a lot.
I don't think I should even be alive right now. :(

Just need to confess:
Rainy day, no exercise, and I binged for over three hours. I went further than I usually do, didn't stop, and I'm so mad at myself that I just want to eat MORE. I've put on more weight too and HATE it.

Full-on, I-want-to-die-sized binge tonight. I just couldn't - wouldn't stop eating. I can barely move. So much food that I still can't believe I fit it all in me, and yet there wasn't enough. There is nothing left. I ate twice as much, twice as fast tonight.
I bet I could still eat more.
I'm enormous. :(

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I ran into the anorexic woman who lives down the street today. We started talking about why my sister is no longer really friends with her, and the conversation was uncomfortable. She said: "Either way, I am going to die, it's just someone's choice whether they want to spend time with me beforehand or not." She befriended my sister about 4 ( Read more... )

I've just stood in the mirror watching my thighs shmush each other over and over. Quite hypnotic. It wasn't just a feeling. I checked and I have gained weight again, and now it's quite visible. Shmoosh! I really feel the add-age right there. It's making me walk bowlegged a bit, but only in private. I can't believe how big I feel. Larger ( Read more... )

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