Hey ladies! It's been a while since I've posted but there is no one else for me to talk to right now, no one else that will understand without judging... so, here's what happened. I'm falling hard for this guy P but the situation is complicated because we're both in middle of divorces. He hit on me a few weeks ago and since then I've felt more ( Read more... )

My friends, I won't be logging onto MJ for a while... I'm going to give recovery another chance. Life has not been fun the last few months and I realize if I keep hurting myself with all this self-hate I'll never be happy. I'm studying to join the Air Force Officer School... both physical and mental. I can do 30 regular pushups and 20 modified. I ( Read more... )

Sometimes I think if I have the stuff inside me to hate myself, to cut myself, to deny myself... if I have this self-control to restrict or purge or do pushups till I collapse... then maybe I have the stuff inside to me to love myself, to care for myself, to enjoy myself as is... interesting, isn't it? I don't know why I never considered this ( Read more... )

I've been really stressed lately, obviously. I've been debating on whether to quit my job and go into therapy again or find a different, less stressful job. This afternoon before I left work my boss said we needed to talk about my 90day evaluation. Basically, he said this job is not a fit for me, that while I'm smart and hard-working and have made ( Read more... )

I bought a huge goldfish and tank and all that stuff today. His name is JJ, my little goldfish baby! Hehe. My cat sits in front of his tank and paws at it, meowing. Too cute! (Don't worry, the tank is too heavy for the cat to knock down ( Read more... )

I managed to lose almost 10lbs since the end of February. I still have so much weight to lose that I'm not jumping for joy this time, just trying to maintain and keep on losing. Someone brought in fresh Panera Bread bagels but I resisted. I thought, mmm, they look good. But what do I want more? A fattening bagel or even more weight loss. I'm up to ( Read more... )

Lose one pound a week, by trimming 500 calories from your daily diet. Try some of the following food and beverage swaps ( Read more... )

A few weeks ago I posted how I wanted to die so badly because nothing is worse than being fat. Or feeling fat, that's almost as bad as being fat. Anywho, I'm still wishing I were dead. It's crazy, I realize, to feel like this... I don't know what's wrong with me! I keep invisioning running my car off the road and overdosing on pills and booze or ( Read more... )

i am so worthless. i want to die. i am sick of feeling so up and down. i am not good enough. not ever gonna be good enough. so sick of pretending to be fine, happy and normal when really all i feel is like shit. and really, this is what i get for eating! eating brings nothing but pain and fatness and nothing good. i've gotten to eat only half of ( Read more... )

You Communicate With Your Eyes
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