"Stop exploding, you cowards!" - Zapp Brannigan

Ex boyfriends are stupid.

Wait. That isn't very fair.

My ex boyfriend is stupid.

I dreamed I was deleting people. Don't ask, I cannot explain it any better than that. I can't even remember the dream, except that this morning I woke up and decided it was deleting people.

Then I dreamed I was feeding celery to a monkey at the dinner table.

Hmm ... how effective can this Ant Rid be when it is full of ants?

I figured it would take me about two hours to clean the house - at least, the bits I told myself needed cleaning. At two o'clock, I looked at all I had done, and what was left to do, and nodded to myself.

I said aloud. "You would have been right, two hours was just about enough time. If you didn't add all those other things, you'd be done by now."

( Read more... )

So I glance at the clock and realise it's almost midday and I've achieved nothing this morning, apart from a shower, getting dressed, making the bed, having a cup of tea and talking to my brother on the phone for 45 mins ( Read more... )

Sydney's Soundwave festival was the worst organised event I have ever been to - and I've been to quite a few volunteer-run church fetes* and more than I care to count of my own mother's Christmas parties. To put things in a bit of context for you, Sydney's Soundwave was held at Eastern Creek Raceway. Gates opened at 11am. Having been inexplicably ( Read more... )

"It's made with rice milk. Rice milk. I didn't even know you could milk rice."

* I know the year is young but I find it hrd to believe anything could beat that. It may even be quote of the century.

I just read an article about getting a hair wash in China. I've never been interested in going to China before, but the description of that shampoo is making my scalp tingle. http://www.smh.com.au/travel/a-thrill-from-head-to-toes-20090115-7hpn.html

I want to go to France, to where the artists lived.

Then Japan, to see what inspired them.

And maybe ( Read more... )

Sometimes I am freaking hilarious. It isn't even that I've necessarily said something particularly funny - it's all in the delivery, you know.

Like at New Year's Eve when some giant of a man was asking if I remembered him from Blink. I had no idea who he was, and his attempts to remind me "I used to wear a skull tie" still met with no recognition. ( Read more... )