Hama had a child hanging around him, so I backed off for a bit since I didn't want to traumatize the sweet thing, but now it's gone, and I declare hunting season to be open once again.

Oh Haaaaaaaaaammmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Someone told me that I could go molest Hama. *beams*

*kisses children and bids farewell to the entire household*

I should be back in a week. If not ... Well, call up my sister Mary Sue and have her raise me from the dead. You can't miss her. She's an apprentice to Saruman and the long-lost daughter of Gandalf and Galadriel.

*dies*

*attaches fee and submits form ( Read more... )

The mun finally took me to the movie.

*crosses arms*

My perceptions are clearly faulty, because I could have sworn I saw Glorfindel falling during the course of the film. Sweetie, I nearly cried, until I remembered that it would have been canon-you and not you-you and that it wasn't really either of you at all.

And you you! What balrog crawled ( Read more... )

*puts babies to bed*

*exchanges gown for more sensible but equally sexy outfit*

*arms self with all manner of weapons, traps and aphrodisiacs*

*makes numerous photocopies of newly acquired map and tucks them in various hidden pockets of her clothing ( Read more... )

Glorfindel!

*crosses arms and taps foot*

Are you sober yet?

*straightens dress*

People really shouldn't leave silmarils lying around. You never know who might grab them.

Now then, I think I will see what I can do to help that nice elf he's not nearly as pretty or as perfect as Legolas find those poor children's mother.

*casts silly locater spell*

*spell pokes her in the ass*

Yikes!

How very odd.

As none of the Istari have claimed me as their own, I have come to the only logical conclusion ( Read more... )

It would seem that I am now a Maia Mary Sue. Would any Istari who happens to be missing an apprentice or daughter please raise his hand?

Being a Mary Sue, I regained my svelte and tempting form seconds after giving birth to my darlings. Now I'm reveling in the feel of skin-tight gowns slit up to my hip, with trains dangling past mechanically implausible stiletto heels. You'd be amazed what a wonderful balancing exercise carrying babies is. Melethoniel seems quite fond of my new ( Read more... )