one week after a year of the accident. 10 months since our first date. 3 days shy of our official 10 months. i wish i could just pick up the phone and call him. but i cant. i love him, i htink. this is the closest thing i have ever had to love and i dont know what to do. thingfs have happened. i have dismissed a friend who was only trying to help ( Read more... )

last monday was senior day. joy. home. the last time i will ever compete on our track. the last time i will ever throw a javelin. i didnt even stay to watch the end. i left my event. i couldnt stay to watch. every one was fighting, yelling. i just wanted them, all to shut up ( Read more... )

sunday was harrys 18 bday. im happy but i dont know what to do. i didnt really get him anything but then agn i didnt really have time bc im still grounded ( Read more... )

tuesday we had a home meet with oakrest and EHT. joy. we lost, but it also rained and was cold. crew was cancelled so harry came. so did mrs. freeman with her son. she came to jav. she actually talked to me. all i wanted to do was run and hide but i had to finish my throws (which sucked!) i wanted to run into harry's arms and never leave. kaitie ( Read more... )

joy. this time by my dad. came home at 1106. wow. so late. he woke me up to yell at me. he scared the dog to where she would jump when he spoke and finally just ran behind me. he is so passive aggressive wich is what he yells at us for. monday night me and harry went out to see grindhouse which didnt get over until like 1230 am. i called home ( Read more... )

track meet monday ( Read more... )

its scary. all i think abt is hearing his voice, feelign his touch. the person who never thought abt marriage, kids. now. i just wish we were older. graduated. finished college. have jobs. i wish there werent all the uncertainties ( Read more... )

it has recently occured to me that maybe my mother was just trying to keep me away from harry ( Read more... )

my parents def didnt get what they wanted from grounding me. the idea was bc my mom feels abandoned and wants me home. i had been coming home from practice and talking with her until harry called then leaving to his house. not to mention im talkin abt school. im leaving. i just gave her an exuse to ground me seeing as it was the first time they kno ( Read more... )

yesterday i remembered why i am there but also y i dont want to be. we had to go for a 30 min run with who ever we wanted. i went alone and came back an hour later. i missed that. i used to do it a lot just leave and come back eventually. but i also missed her bc she would always go with me and we made each other work harder ( Read more... )