Well I have calmed down a little. I did great most of the day. Then came home and I've had 4 Oreos All day I did so well I had one luna bar a salad and tea. Then to come home and screw it up. Back in focus tomorrow. I will hit 130lbs by the End of this month or so help me.

Positive: I finally lost that 2lbs I've been want to for 2 weeks now hello ( Read more... )

Fuck everything

I've had a pretty good couple days! I started my internship so I've been very busy and not much time to post. I love it! The internship that is, not that I haven't posted :) I can feel it I know I had to of lost weight this week. I've been busting my butt so I really hope that's true!!!!!

Anyway it's like 0300 right now I'm going to try and get ( Read more... )

So I already posted about my amazing workout this morning.
My day has been pretty good!! I had net calories of 920 and even tried a new dinner that was both healthy and pretty good that I normally wouldn't try/like. I'm not a huge fish person! But it wasn't bad! Got my laundry room painted. One last wall to finish tomorrow then paint the hall and ( Read more... )

So I had a super intense workout this morning!! Burned about 400 calories. Super pumped!
And a post workout goof off!


( Read more... )

I had a great day yesterday! Only had 400 cals and burned 700 calories In my workout!!! I did the stationary bike for an hour and sweat more than I ever have! And today I had 600 and burned half. I have been pretty positive and so focused!

Starting tomorrow I am working out with my trainer who is more of a friend these days than just a trainer, ( Read more... )

Thinspo and how I feel right now. I haven't eaten yet today at its noon. Been up since 4am. I'm trying to stay focused. Going to the gym soon. I feel very depressed today.


( Read more... )

I managed to keep it at 582 calories today and countered it with burning 416 calories working out. So I don't feel as bad. I needed this strict restriction today after the binge weekend I had.
I'm proud I myself for doing so well and I had Metamucil twice and took the green tea pill 3x today. I think this week is going to be good for me. I can feel ( Read more... )

Fuck.

Didn't gain but didn't lose. Can I get anymore fucking fat? I just want to go home and lay in bed all day and not eat. But I have classes today. I'm going to focus on homework and not my gut. Ugh.

I think I may be ready to accept recovery from my ed. I know it will be a huge process. I know I'll always have it in my life but this seems to be too much. It's effecting my relationship with my husband my friends my body and me. I have felt awful the last week with no bowel movements due to restricting I'm depressed weak and angry. I've pushed so ( Read more... )