My distant cousin Helena (no blood relation to me) who is rude, uppidty, slutty and evil, came to town last week. We all had to meet her for dinner. Our meeting went like this ( Read more... )

I ran into my ex-boyfriend Robert the other day at the mall. The conversation went something like this ( Read more... )

I don't know why on earth people trust me with their secrets. I've told you people many times: I am addicted to gossip like people are addicted to crack cocaine, or heroin. In fact, I spend about 85 percent of my time at work gossiping. I then go home and gossip some more ( Read more... )

I have a terrible confession to make to you all. There's no easy way to say this. Here goes.

Recently, I've become completely addicted to the show "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit." It's a show that I never, ever thought that I'd be into, but for some reason, it's become more addictive than crack cocaine, and I just can't stop watching it. The ( Read more... )

When I was seventeen years old, my high school friends and I went to Matsumoto, Japan, and stayed at a mountain resort.

The first night there, we were watching a Japanese T.V. talk show that was similar to "Jerry Springer." The show interviewed a man who had cut off his own legs because he just didn't want them anymore. He related the story of ( Read more... )

I was digging through my "man purse," the big bag where I keep my antacids, my lunch, and other crap that I stuff in there when I go to work. As I dug deeper, I found a hammer, bath tub glue, caulk, and duct tapeI didn't put these things there. I don't understand ( Read more... )

I am currently in Vancouver, B.C., CANADA! Staying on the top floor of a four diamond hotel in Downtown Vancouver. It was all so very nice, looking down at the city below me. Until I saw a homeless man masturbating and eating a cheeseburger at the same time. Or, at least I think it was a cheeseburger. I hope it was a cheeseburger ( Read more... )

My younger brother, an Asian American who can understand Chinese as well as a 4 year old native speaker, is currently in Hong Kong. He messages me this morning and tells me a story of being in the park the other day, eating some sort of Dim Sum when a White man approaches him. The conversation, as he explains, went something like this ( Read more... )

I'm so tired of people accusing me of being evil and soulless. All their evidence against me is circumstantial, at best.

So sure, yeah, I failed to fog up that mirror that one time with my breath, it doesn't mean anything, that was just one time ( Read more... )

I was digging under my bed the other night, looking for an old pair of shoes. Instead, I found some of my journals from when I was younger. And also a giant pepperoni stick ( Read more... )