I finally understand the phrase "have your cake and eat it too", it never made sense to me because if have a cake why shouldn't you be able to eat it? Well the old way of saying this phrase is a lot more clear, "you can't eat your cake and have it too". It finally makes sense, you cannot still have a cake after you have consumed it. It was a ( Read more... )

I just spent my first night back home at my parent's and already the walls are suffocating me. I realize that I sound overly dramatic but allow me to explain something to everyone but Evan. My room, like many in my house is a graveyard. It is a dumpsite for everything that someone in my family loved too much to throw away but not enough to keep. ( Read more... )

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/08/07/ochoa.tx.lap.band.kvue

If you're not enraged watching that than you are part of the problem.

I suffer from major league Superman envy, I mean I have my entire life but it is particularly strong now probably because of my crippled condition. I've never understood the people who don't like Superman and say he's too powerful. The truth is that Superman is the most vulnerable man on the entire planet. His birth parents died without him ever ( Read more... )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n44WCUKIK2Y&eurl=Read more... )

"I am all for women that decide to get plastic surgery, plastic surgery allows you the rare opportunity to make your outer appearence match your inner appearence, fake." - Daniel Tosh

I'm pretty sure at this point the Time "Person of the Year" issue is just an attempt to top themselves on how retarded it can be.

This year it is "you"

Seriously.

I am sitting at work, staring at the wall and dreaming longingly of a life of crime.

I'm pretty sure URI is one big conspiracy to kill my soul.

So I'm reading a book written by John Hodgman, who you may know from The Daily Show or as the PC in the new Mac ads, called "Areas of my Expertise" which is essentially an almanac of facts he made up. I thought I would share with you his information on Rhode Island ( Read more... )