It's over. I'm done. I left. It's sad that your heart can go into something so much and all someone else gets what you worked so hard for. I can't hurt like this anymore, so I left. He has her, that's all he needs. I will be fine.

it is almost 5am. The sun is coming up. Why am I not asleep? I am better, but still down. I am not mad anymore, just sad. I feel like I am of no use to him right now. I am scared that she will take my place because i can't be what he needs. I am afraid that things with her will progress quicker than they are with me, and that she will soon meet up ( Read more... )

I am actually starting to get mad! If you love someone, if you want to be with them for a long time, how do you fuck someone else? If you don't see yourself with them, then why the fuck are you?? If the person that you say you love is hurting because of something you are doing, why do you keep doing it ( Read more... )

I called my maternity case worker, and we have an appt set up for wednesday and I am going to ask her about counselling then. I also have an appt with an assessor for comprehensive mental health on july 10th to see about getting a counsellor there, too ( Read more... )

This is a journal, it is a place to rant. When I upset, and everyone is tired of hearing what I have to say, I come here. Please do not criticize me for what I think or how I feel. Please don't ask me to censor my views. This is me. If you don't like it, you don't have to read it ( Read more... )

As I was driving home last night, I kept wondering things like "what if I stopped paying attention to the road and 'accidently' drove into that semi next to me?" or "what if I decided to take the scenic route and 'accidently' turn the wheel, thus causing me to drive straight into the river ( Read more... )

okay, so those feelings i had hoped would go away? They did...for a couple hours. Now I am just bitter and hurt and I feel completely cast aside. I am sitting here in a whole bunch of pain, I am throwing up, I am just plain miserable. I got locked out of the house for 2 hours today and Rosie peed in my car. I am out of gas and my car keeps breaking ( Read more... )

So many things I want to say. There are so many things I am holding back. I just need a hug. That's all I ever need. I just need someone to make me actually feel loved, not used ( Read more... )

Keagan is fine. She is very active and healthy ( Read more... )

I hate him so much, and I know I don't have the right. But because of how I feel about him, every kick now, every time she moves, i just resent her. I don't want to! I hate that I am starting to hate her, too. She doesn't deserve that. Tyler wants her. At least, he says he does. I sometimes think about just giving her to him. That way, she doesnt ( Read more... )