I tried to get Des to pee on me so that my on-line purity test score would be even lower than it already is (if that's possible) but she wouldn't do it, which means she doesn't love me.

P.S. I'm drunk.

I am sick and tired of motherfucking bible humpers. On a related note, I found out that one of the reasons Patrick and Jessica broke up is because this cunt doesn't "approve of our lifestyle". This means that Patrick is a friend of mine and Des's. Des and I are lesbians (shocking, isn't it?). Lesbians are disgusting and horrible. Jessica ( Read more... )

I picked up Jackie's shift this morning and we were pretty slow. I was cut by 1:30 and I walked with $18 which isn't much, but it's a help. We went and bought cat food and cat litter but I still need to change the litter box and THIS JUST IN the kittens have now litter trained themselves. HAH ( Read more... )

I thought I should update this since I haven't updated it in a week. So here it is. Last night was First Friday, which is where every trendy wannabe in Johnson City goes downtown to the art galleries and the coffeeshop and the clubs and walks around in their favorite outfit with their hair done. That being said, I had a great time. AND Des ( Read more... )

I woke up and to find that the dog fucking shit in the middle of the bedroom and threw up four times, once under the bed and I can't reach it. I can already tell this is going to be a fabulous day. Really. I need to take a shower and find a way to move this heavy bed frame so I can pick up the fucking vomit. Maybe if she wouldn't eat the ( Read more... )

Des has an issue with having too many people on her friends list on AIM so now it won't let her add any more. I have an easy solution to that: be like me and only have two friends. It works great and no AIM hassle ( Read more... )

When at work, if the cooks are taking forever to make the food for your tables, are fucking up every single thing and the manager refuses to fix any and all fuck-ups that have been made, you can always throw a temper tantrum and bang on things while jumping up and down and yelling. You'll usually get what you want that way AND look extremely ( Read more... )

So yesterday afternoon I was outside with the dog and one of my redneck neighbors thought it would be a good time to unleash on me about how the dog cries and cries and cries all the time because we keep her locked up and because she's lonely and sad, blah blah blah and he works 12 hours a day and whine whine whine his life is so hard. I was so ( Read more... )

So a couple of weeks ago, Crystal bought a pair of black lacy underwear that she felt the need to show me. She then informed me that it was in fact from the Delta Burke collection. Apparently, Delta Burke now has her own line of lingerie. I can't even begin to tell you how terrifying that is. Then Crystal gave me the tag from her underwear ( Read more... )

Okay. Barbie, who we work with at the Olive Garden was bar-tending at that bar Cahootenanny's tonight. So, Patrick, Des, Crystal and I went over there after work. Crystal didn't stay long because she was on call at the hospital. Patrick and Des and I stayed and drank for awhile and then Brad showed up high with one of his friends and informed ( Read more... )