To Do List:

1. Apply bandaid
2. Visit dentist
3. Hang niece out of the window by her toes

OooooOOooh, Timulty dear... may I have a word with you?

I got bored plotting against my husband murdering son-in-law, and decided to amuse myself. So, I glued some Eogonders together at the ass. I am much amused.

I blame Felarof. Him and his damn, "Let's start a glee club."

How strange to think my husband died and has not come back from Mandos. Perhaps the revolving door needs to be oiled?

Odd. I'll actually have to erect a gravestone. I don't think I've seen one of those since the first age.

While tracking Timulty I found my husband's dead body. I took his sword as was my right by marriage, and then buried the body in Rohirrim traditions.

You shouldn't have been so careless, Elphir. You left behind your scarf.

Sudden urge to kill my niece, Timulty.

*leaves note for Imrahil*

Dear Immy,
Off to maime and or kill a family member.
Be home soon. Love you lots.
Hally

All of these babies and pregnant women worry me.. It is unnatural. After listening to the nth woman the size of a house relate her tale of not being able to see her feet, I had my tubes tied....with barbed wire.

Just for added protection, I've sent for my brother. He has apparently regressed to the Theoden of yore, who I used to torture by pointing ( Read more... )

Fuck you, Uterus. I'm Rohirrim. I have PMS. I'm armed. Bring me fucking chocolate or I'll gut you.

...Please.

Well, mother is alive and pretending I don't exist. That's fine by me. As far as I'm concerned, she's just some indigestion from some stale strudel Imrahil left out for me. Hmm. Maybe I should rescue my husband from the armorous dinosaur that has him treed like a cat. :watches dino dry hump tree beneath Imrahil: Naaaah. I need to take pictures ( Read more... )

My husband, Prince Imrahil, is an idiot.

I have the men on the parapret armed with flaming sombreros. I would have preferred arrows, but there was a mix-up in some of the supply paperwork and they thought we meant sombreros instead of arrows-- because flying hats are just so much deadiler apparently. :rubs temples:

Some headway was made though. We ( Read more... )