I forgot to make sure Fatty took his receipt, so we also owe him his order free next time. Here you are Mr. Bolger.


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I spent a lot of money redecorating the Lonely Mountain, I'm not going to give it up just because some lizard has long range missles damnit. Besides, Erober makes a lovely parking garage for the moon. That decided, I am going to refortify my new home against the lastest mecha yule toy. But that takes money.

Thus, I have sold Rohan to one Fredegar ( Read more... )

I see the whining has begun. No matter. I have a plan. First I must find where my husband has been hiding himself. Thus far, I've only tracked him to The Lonely Mountain. Even if he's not here, perhaps Smaug will know where I should look next.

:wipes dragon gore off:

Well. It works. :hefts sword: Veduidagnir. Last Bane. :eyes rock: You'll get me in trouble. :plucks off: I'll best send you on your way, you troublesome bauble. :smacks against sword: Enjoy the trip back.

:send to Melkor by Mordor Express:

Despite my relatives being silly and thinking they've turned Rohan over to someone's PENIS and what not, I'm still queen. See, my underwear labels all say so. Therefore I'm making a royal proclaimation. Tomorrow is Naked Day in Rohan. For twenty-four hours all Rohirrim are under order to go about their business sans clothing. This is more for my ( Read more... )

I am returning to Rohan. With Eowyn dead, Theodwyn and Theoden traveling in ways that defy imitation, Theofallan dead, Theoredes dead, and Eomer managing to dallying in a three way relationship peppered with rather destructive mutant spiders.... someone has to look after Mother Rohan, and that's me. Consider yourself under a new queen. :consults ( Read more... )

My husband has moved into the refridgerator.


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Months spent keeping Imrahil busy in a manner that mentally scars the neighbors, and what do I have to show for it? Incredibly toned thigh muscles and a lot of strudel. That's it. I am vexed. There's just so much latex and vinyl one can wear before your thoughts turn to taffeta. Even Imrahil's snivling son, Erchirion, is getting married. Vexed. ( Read more... )

Vacation seems to agree with me. I feel so relaxed and yet somehow... tired. :languid smile: Prince Imrahil is a fine host. I think I will dread when we finally return. I hear from a notice that my dear brother is married again... to his sister's ex-husband. Or were he and Theodwyn ever divorced? I'm never sure as Eomund is always buggered off to ( Read more... )

What!? I am not some milk maid you can have a one night stand with. I am a Rohirrim woman! Don't make me set Elfhild on you.