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(Untitled)
Wowzers, what kind of kidnappers are you, anyway? I read books, you know, I know how this is supposed to work. I should be tied up in a closet somewhere, not walking around willy-nilly! Didn't you even post any guards? Gosh darn it, I could do a better kidnapping in my sleep!
That tears it! Mr. Kidnapper Leader Guy, it's obvious that you're running ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
[public]
I'm taking the day off work.
Cyborg problems.
You know how it is.
Or not, I guess.
Anyway. They're bad. So don't come see me. I'm fine, of course, obviously, I just don't want to freak any of you out. That's all.
[private, so hackable it hurts]
...
....
.....
[sobs and punches the mirror] -
(Untitled)
I just want to let everyone know: one of the people who disappeared recently was Mayor Ari's secretary. I know you're all as shaken and disturbed by the disappearances as I am, and I think it's terrible that we lost such an important young authority figure, so I thought it best to honor what'sisname's memory by taking his job.
That's right! I am now ( Read more... ) -
[Accursed Eden] [April Fools 09]
Sarcastic comment about recent island oddities.
Insult at Grif, dickchomp.
Concern for Nobuko and Kallen in half-hearted attempt at maintaining heterosexual reputation.
Insult at Grif, penismunch.
...Shock and indignation at having personality summed up in single sentence fragments! Continued shock and indignation.
INSULT AT GRIF, COCKBITE.
quiet ( Read more... ) -
Operation: Earn Their Love
Hey! So, it's really cold. Or so I'm told. I wouldn't know, being a cyborg. Which, incidentally, makes me perfect for all of your cold-winter-related tasks!
Are you stuck inside by the cold? Need your driveway shoveled? Did you freeze yourself in a block of ice like that dumbass in the red hat? Well, I can take care of that for you! And I ask for ( Read more... ) -
This is what passes for a Simmons mental crisis, trufax.
[private, unhackable]
Pfft, I don't even know why I'm surprised. It's not like he was- is the most likable person in the world. In fact, I'm surprised this hasn't happened before. People here must be a lot less violent than they are back home, or at least a hell of a lot more patient.
Or maybe not, I guess. You'd think a soldier would be a little ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Oh, thank god. No, seriously, I think I might become a priest now. I don't really know what a religious epiphany feels like, but if it's anything at all like waking up to find that you're not stuck to Dexter Grif, sign me the hell up.
Alright, back to work. Man, this is so awesome. No more dragging a useless lump of flesh around on my morning jogs, ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Alright, guys, I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm one of the refs at the coliseum now. I've gone ahead and taken the liberty of writing down all some of the rules of combat, as well as a few of my own design.
( Official Rules of the Memento Eden Coliseum ) -
(Untitled)
Hey, so, Sergeant Grif.
Turns out our armor has a recording function.
I checked it out the day I got here, but all of the stuff recorded on there's been deleted- or at least, all of it until today. Looks like one of them suddenly works again.
I bet you want to hear it, right? But I could never ask you to walk all the way over to my room, that would ( Read more... )