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resurfacing for an overdue announcement!
today i realized i should've dusted off this account earlier for the sake of spreading the word, but better late than never (& god knows i'm nothing if not consistently late)...
i'm moving to san francisco!
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this morning she was in my dreams - it was renn fayre, but (as w/ all dreams) things weren't quite right... i was working w/ the meat smoke crew to help serve the feast, but this time the feast was happening right after thesis parade. i was standing @ this table serving drunken revelers & out of my peripheral vision i saw her walking towards me, ( Read more... ) -
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now that i have less than a week here & my dad has been roped into working the last 2 days i'm in town (he'd been taking some of his massive backlog of vacation days) i'm finally remembering why its such a revitalizing thing to come back here once a year. yes, i'm in my head all day, yes, i'm going slightly batshit w/ only my parents for company, ( Read more... ) -
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i miss her. i miss her so much i think it'll make me implode from that void in my life. its the last thing i ever wanted to do, but it seems the only choice now is to reform a different life w/out her. i can't shake the ring of truth i heard when i was told she didn't want to cause me to be stuck - i've had these changes in my life waiting in ( Read more... ) -
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ah, the sudden/severe mood swings make more sense now - stupid girl bits are bleeding again. fucking hormones. -
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i'm exhausted so this is just a bare bones update - a whole fuck of a lot has happened over the last few weeks but the end sum is that i've a)moved into a tiny studio apt (kept the same phone #), b)got my mom back home before the mainland winter could freeze her, c)quit my job but in such a way that i have the option of rehiring if i'm desperate ( Read more... ) -
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my ferret noodle, who becca & i affectionately referred to as "our rank little daughter", has passed. we were able to keep her reasonably comfortable here @ home w/ some unconventional palliatives, & ultimately she spent her last moments being held in my lap at a bit after 1am sat night/sun morning. its both utterly fucked up & bizarrely fitting ( Read more... ) -
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i wanted to surface a little to give an update, everything is in flux right now & i haven't been able to return calls or really manage much beyond making it to work/making it to therapy/venturing out for basic necessities for a while. i'm not trying to ignore anyone, the only interactions i've been having have been largely centered around begging ( Read more... ) -
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so this year my mom & i decided to go w/ celebrating solstice rather than x-mas; it felt a lot more fitting to recognize the darkest day of the year & yet also look forward to the return of the sun. we've been lighting candles a lot & i've been hit w/ an intense need for personal space - i haven't seen anyone other than my mom in a couple of days ( Read more... )