this is Bush: Album; Razorblade Suitcase: Song; Mouth ( Read more... )

ok well so, i've started to talk to an exbf again...whoops. ok whoops hell i'm having more fun this time than i did last time. he pays so much attention to me, and he pets and ADORES me. i love being adored, what girl wouldn't. and we get along so well, we talk about like everything and its cool, we have like a handful of things in common so it ( Read more... )

well i guess i knew this day would come. mxj acts like if its not completly about him then he must not be involved at all. well, i made my life more about me and less about him, and he is deciding, i guess, to fade out of mine. i am not completly happy with this decision but what can i do. he didn't even invite me to go with him to n.o. for his ( Read more... )

i am here. i am as whole as i can be for this one momment in time ( Read more... )

ok so yeah today has been fairly ok i guess. mxj and i hung out for a hot minute. i told him what i though bb was up to. we discussed abit about PH, apparently she's a double agent, which really sucks cause i don't really feel like i have anyone i can talk to at all now, hate that. what do you do when the only one you can trust is you? and most of ( Read more... )

i am so tired of the poor pathetic me act coming from you. oh my god get over it. there isn't enough attention for you in the whole world. And something you don't seem to realize is that in order for people to be your friends they don't have to give you stuff or do things for you. they just have to be there and you are supposed to be there for them ( Read more... )

today sucked! still upset with mxj. :( i woke up at 830 in pain with another fuckin migrain, fun fun. ive had it all day. i've taken so many drugs today that i don't know what the hell is going on. i don't like to be medicated. i'm still in pain and i don't know what to do. i really don't. oddly enough whenever mxj is online so is bb, but mxj's ( Read more... )

well my migrains have returned... i have had 5 in 2 days. i've gone to the ER twice, gotten one "happy shot" i.e. stadol and phenergan and one i.v. of something i don't know. taken relpax and midrin. i just can't do this anymore. this kind of pain is unbareable. I think the Dr.'s are all wrong. There has to be soemthing wrong in my head to make me ( Read more... )

so it has begun again. great. mxj and bb are friends again....oh god. oh god. oh god. he says there just friends.. that won't last for long. i am so worried about this. what to do what to do... damn it all. he is bad for him. so bad ( Read more... )

so i'm here now, and its ok... i still worry about mxj. i can't decide if he was the evil that would surely kill me or the love and light that would save me from myself. he gave me purpose and if nothing else something to do. i miss talking to him all the time already and spending every momment with him. moms ok. im sure i'll be ok here. i still ( Read more... )