DNA tests can now determine, for the mere price of 1,000 yuan, whether people are actually descended from Confucius. The article states, "How the scientists had obtained a sample of Confucius's DNA was not explained." That in itself gives me pause. How DID they? Ancient philosopher sperm banks? Did they find a mosquito trapped in amber that had ( Read more... )

So I'm doing my old job, with kids and nature, and during training today a turtle totally came all over this guy.

I've been feeling lately as if my day of reckoning is at hand, at which point I will have to account for all of my sins and misdoings.

In other news, I listened to "Street Woman" by Ornette Coleman last night while I slept, and I dreamed that I picked a huge booger that turned out to be a 6-inch brain worm.

I used to have some really weird ideas as a kid, which now strike me as hilarious. In 3rd grade, we had this art teacher who had a short asymmetrical haircut, dark sunglasses, and a long skirt. One project she made us do was a dinky little weaving with yarn. I remember thinking, "I better hold on to this shitty little tapestry I'm weaving, because ( Read more... )

This is one of the creepiest news stories I've seen in a while. I have a folder on my computer called "News," in which I save remarkable and disturbing stories about things people do to each other. But something about this really weirds me out more than most. It's like an Encyclopedia Brown two-minute mystery, but Japanese, and creepy ( Read more... )

Here are a couple of personal fantasies, triggered by songs I listened to a lot last spring and am now listening to again.

PJ Harvey- 50 Ft. QueenieSo I can make myself bigger and bigger at will, like the size of a building. I can also make my penis bigger and bigger at will. I do so, and it gets really really tall, and there are helicopters and ( Read more... )

When I roll with mode7overworld, we roll like a tank ( Read more... )

Well, after a week of training, I started my summer job (teaching kids about nature for Cincinnati Parks) for real: the kids showed up. Our group is 8-9 years old. I love them all, even the 'bad' kid. All they want to talk about is butts, aliens, Halo 2, robots, ninjas, chainsaws, and flamethrowers. Naturally, we get along very well ( Read more... )

For the longest time, I thought "Disorder" by Joy Division was about gay. Listen to the lyrics... I always thought it was "I've been waiting for a guy to come and take me by the hand/ Unknown sensations make me feel the pleasures of another man." It made me like the song that much more ( Read more... )

I saw Skinny Puppy on Saturday, with my friends 23chao5 and rhealyn, and a third friend who is better for not having a livejournal. It was fucking awesome. SO MANY HORKS. But they're the goth horks, who wear platform boots instead of Timberlands, and mesh instead of khaki, and they have really long goatees instead of short ones. And industrial goggles instead of ( Read more... )