why can't i just let go?

(i'm claustrophobic in my room. my ceiling, it's a white with degrees of shadow cascading, it's blank.)

i don't like the idea that everyone will come back, tanned and freshfaced and older and full of stories from all of their adventures and i will look down at the ground and be unhappy and decide i made the wrong choices this summer.
i'm terrified that i will blame myself for this.

two years have passed.
look how much impact you have had on me.
it upsets me that your influence didn't cause me to be so devastatingly introspective before that point.

(we still owe you a tombstone.)

written spontaneously and quickly for a promoter contest ( Read more... )

i should be writing a paper on the three women of the merchant of venice utilizing crossdressing as a way to take control of their destinies, but papers stress me out and i'm not eager to do it ( Read more... )

words fail when it comes to you.

being over-analytical can be a fault ( Read more... )

this journal is outdated ( Read more... )

oh. my. god.

this is about a boy, whose punctuation i have not yet worked out ( Read more... )