Basically I decided to write in here since nobody ever reads this thing and nobody ever gets on livejournal anymore. So where to begin...everything and everyone has changed...I feel like I've lost my best friend, my parents are possibly getting a divorce and nothing feels familiar right now. It sucks because I feel like I have no croonie anymore ( Read more... )

That's pretty much everything that I feel right now. Im never drinking again. Not because I got drunk ... because I hate the person I saw when I drank... it wasn't me and I'm not sure who you were... I couldnt stand up for myself the way that I needed and there was nobody there to stand up for me. I thought that it would never come to this...I ( Read more... )

I really miss the way we were...or atleast the way I thought we were. I keep thinking about how perfect things felt in the beginning - no matter what things felt right... and now I feel like I've felt so many times before. I never wanted to feel this way with you. I never wanted to feel like we were falling apart, I never wanted to feel hurt. I ( Read more... )

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So wow... just wow... okay so some of you will understand what I'm talking about and some of you will be so lost either way just let me vent. I can't vent on myspace because everybody can see myspace, select few know of my livejournal and I like that. Anyway moving on... what they hell... they were in lust... i mean seriouslly... okay so it's ( Read more... )

So I'm sitting here right now trying to sort out my mind... trying to figure out where everything suddenly became so unclear and when my life became a puzzle that I have none of the pieces for. A few months ago, maybe even a few days ago you could have asked me anything and I would feel so certain of everything, so certain that it could all work ( Read more... )

Yesterday I decided to drive around and it was a good thing for me I guess to just get out and have no idea where I'm going and knowing that it really didn't matter where I went or what happened just as long as I was away. I realized it was pretty much my own damn fault for feeling the way I did... but at the same time I realize that a part of it ( Read more... )

I'm beginning to have doubts about a lot of things and where I stand. I guess it's a little too late to be having doubts and second thoughts but the thing is- is that I am... I just don't feel like it's ever going to be enough like I'm ever going to be enough. Like I thought I would be okay with Ben's past and trying to get over the strip club ( Read more... )

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There is this overwhelming feeling that things aren't going to be okay... I really question my own capability to be a parent, especially when I can barely get my own life together- let alone control somebody elses life. I really just don't think I can take anymore from anybody and I can't take fighting or being "moody" and I can't even take the ( Read more... )