Well , the movie on lifetime was about a young girl , a dancer , who has bulemia.It was really good.My friend Tarah and I were calling eachother every commercial break.It made me cry some times . . I use to be a really hard core bulemic.I purged today a little.I am really excited about 2005 , I know it's my year to lose weight.I know it is ( Read more... )

New Years was fun .. I'm still a little depressed.I came home and slept all day almost.When I woke up it was dinner time.I had a few bites of steak.I made myself throw it up though.I'm really happy to be able to get the house to myself for a while tonight.There's a movie about eating disorders coming on at 9:00 .. I'm so happy ! I love anorexic ( Read more... )

I feel like staying home tonight.I bet no one will let me stay home..but we'll see.I had to eat two "taquito's" ( 120 cal. ) I felt like shit after I ate them.I had no apetite at all .. and it made me feel nautious.I think I may throw them up .. it's just a waiste of calories.Still feeling like shit...

Sitting there .. I stared at myself.I didn't see me though.I saw my state of sadness.I saw hopelessness..and lack of control.I saw some one who wasn't rejoiced at birth.I saw an accident.Some one worth leaving at the age of seven.Some one who isn't worth staying alive for.My own fucking mother didn't love me enough to try and be a mom.She did just ( Read more... )

I don't know how his came about .. or when .. just all of the sudden today I felt really depressed.I have cut a few times..but only when I messed up on a fast or something .. to punish myself.I felt like cutting really bad..but I didn't.Looking in the mirror made me cry.I'm not kidding.I'm trapped in this horrible body.I hate myself so much.I took ( Read more... )

Well .. the holidays are over ! I got some cool stuff..but I mean I hate how it all revolves around eating GIANT meals with everyone watching.Whatever.I'm done with all of my shows..like singing and dancing..So I don't NEED to eat anymore for energy really.My friend is semi-ana..she tries..like me.And it's cool bcuz we're both rele good friends.I' ( Read more... )

To whoever commented on the last entry ( Read more... )

Well .. I wanna start with good news ( Read more... )

Well .. i remember looking at the letter from ana .. you know the one about how ana will b your best friend and all .. and I highlighted it to read it .. and i accidentally clicked on print.The printer wasnt on at the time so i blew it off..thinking there'd bo no way it would print later on ( Read more... )

I went to Leesha's with Shelby..we were SuPpOsE to go surfing .. but a bunch of retarded shit happened ..and now Leesha's mom duzint like me..oh and guess what !?...I don't five a flying fuck.I was like shut up..ur not my mom..take me home this is gay.Ugh.I hate stupid whores.AnY-HoOoO..Leesha and Shelby were being dumb towards thu end..and yeah.I ( Read more... )