"Billy Mays here. Are you tired of always finding yourself in a state of not breathing? Well have I got the product for you. It's the Insta-Rez! The Insta-Rez will bring you back to the world of the living from wherever you found yourself when you di.ed! All you do is pop the cap and the magical aromatics will revive invigorate you! This ( Read more... )

Farrah, daaaaarling. You will be staying in my private quarters. Oh, and Bosley has a mission for you: Do whatever I ask of you ( Read more... )

Dear Satan ( Read more... )

Just in case some of you were wondering if I was still around and subverting the world or not....I give unto thee:

The Great Lane Bryant Riot of 2008:


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Hi there, hey there, ho there (no really...ho, right there...damn she's toe up). Safely nestled back away from the center of evil (aka the US). Some of you worry too damn much. My final words wouldn't be in a text message...or so dull. Don't misconstrue, yeesh ( Read more... )

I tried to abandon you.

I tried to ignore your pleas for help.

Yet on and on you whined "We want more evil! We need our evil!"

Well FINE then...

*Kabam*

Spice Girls reunion. Enjoy!

Psst, Hey Liz?

Yes, Master?

Do you remember how when I gave you that contract so your hideous fashions would become huge and get women out of the kitchen baking pies for their men?

Of course, Master

Do you remember how I stood by you in spite of the outcry from the guys talking about how unfair it was? And do you recall how all I asked in ( Read more... )

Jesus Christ (the ultimate insult), didn't think you guys would EVER figure it. I realize it's hard to see everything, but come on :P. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

A little over 5 years ago, some thieves stole Steve Irwin's car. One can hope that technology will reutrn the vehicle to their owner, but even these days where cars are equipped with LoJak, GPS devices, OnStar and the like, everybody knew the car was gone because these things don't really work effectively. The cars can be in an Indonesian chop ( Read more... )

He really hates it when he loses souls because of telephonic issues. Drives Him up a wall. Best of all, it's completely his fault--I *told* him not to switch to Sprint...

I think I'll give him a buzz, taunt him over it for a while. Infurating him like that? It'll just make my bloody day. Lesse, where did I put that number..Ahhh, here we go.

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