So earlier I got a jingle...

I need your help. It's me...pjammer

Mmmmm...Devlin, get the contracts ready

I know I don't talk to you much, God, but I'm really in a bad way

God? Dude musta dialed a wrong number...he'll figure it out in a second. Dev, go ahead and put em back in the fileSome clumsy con girl got me for a drink the other night...I knew ( Read more... )

It's amazing how many of you actually fell for that. I'm the Prince of Lies, for crying out loud! I merely wanted to see who was loyal to Me, and who was opportunistic and not to be trusted ( Read more... )

It's probably that time. Passing the curse torch. Satan's old, wants a quieter life and less hassle...hates getting nagged or having deadlines. Needs to get in touch with My inner Xenu now that The Chosen One is borne. Has gotten a little too good at scaring people or freakin' em out. Fell short again it seems. Wanna be My successor? Think ( Read more... )

That bumbling fool Jesus turns one little goblet of water into wine, and it's proclaimed to be a miracle...

I make a faucet spew forth beer to an apartment stories above the ground and it's labelled a plumbing mistake. See if I ever help you mortals out again. Try to do something nice in the Satanmas spirit (you guys didn't even remember My ( Read more... )

Let's see what Satan has in His mailbag today...

Attn:Foriegn Personality ( Read more... )

Such a warm welcome. Thank you all for coming out. And look! You offered up sacrifices to Me! You really didn't have to--I stopped asking for those centuries agao. Such a hospitable place, with warm and friendly people. Always glad to be here. Huh? Didn't know I was coming? Then why'd ya kill the virgins? Not virgins? What the hell were ( Read more... )

Apologies to God for missing His kid's birthday party last week (yes, last week...Christ was actually born on December 16th, just got pushed back to the 25th because God was always in heaven's annual bridge tournament that week and couldn't be bothered to send the bastard a gift ( Read more... )

Let's see what's in Satan's mailbag this morning ( Read more... )

"Satan, wake up...we need you ( Read more... )

I've always been one of those guys who shook his head at people who hang on too long. You know the ones. The aging ballplayer trying to squeak one more season out of his knees that have no cartilege in them, trying to play that one more season with a back that contorts him like a pretzel every time he moves. The guy that just can't let go of ( Read more... )