It's Ian's birthday today. He's 11. I've been raising this sweet, amazing, frustrating, pre-teen of a child for 11 years. I don't know why I get so sad this time of year. Well I do know why, I just don't understand why I still get so upset. I am certain that my life without Ian would have been so much less. I have a good life, I've finally ( Read more... )

Every once in a while, life will slow for a minute and I will realize it's been a week, a month, a year since I spent any time thinking about how I'm living instead of just getting through the day. ( Read more... )

I don't know why I can't say what I want, what I feel, what I need

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I'm tired and rather blue for some reason. ( Read more... )

So it's not quite noon and already Ian's been whiny and obnoxious (only briefly but still) and Ty responded by going into the bedroom with the door closed. So I am shuttling back and forth, kissing and telling each of them that I love them. Three weeks now and this seems to be the pattern. Why can't one of the give just alittle? I know that Ty' ( Read more... )

I know it's silly but I can't seem to shake it today ( Read more... )

It's probably been almost a year since I've written in any kind of journal let alone on here. It was a hard winter and a rather interesting summer. ( Read more... )

Haven't written in a very long time. Alot going on and also nothing. Same old shit over and over. Not really worth talking or writing about. But if i don't say or write the words they just go around and around in my head.

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Kind of a rough day. Went into the office still very angry with Irene.

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