Sawajiri Legacy ;; Generation 2.2
Warnings:
Foul Language
Adult Themes
Past Updates:
1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5
2.1
When we last left the Sawajiri family, Nat had been hypnotized into talking (and wasn't exactly happy about it) and Mallory realized they seriously needed to start using contraceptives because they ended up pregnant again.
We'll begin with the birth of Jiro...
MALLORY: *stars in eyes as she stares at her new baby boy*
MAID: How the hell do these lesbians end up having so many damn babies??
Sakura isn't exactly happy about the new addition to the family.
SAKURA: NUUUUUU! BABIES ARE DIRTY! THIS HOUSE IS GOING TO SMELL! EWWW.
Now, I'm obviously not doing a viking legacy, but I wanted to add some spice to my game so I decided to start rolling some mini challenges for when I get bored. You could probably tell by my last post that I didn't put much effort into it, so this is my solution to attempt to make things interesting throughout.
Alright, not the most interesting, but I can work with that xD
MALLORY: [Yeah, since you were staring at my vag all creepy-like when I gave birth, I think you gotta go.]
MAID: *stares blankly since she doesn't know sign language*
MALLORY: *sighs, ushers her out with her hands erratically* [Dumb bitch.]
The gardener was the next to go, but only because he's a retard and complains over and over about he can't get to a certain bush every day until he wastes daylight -__- IDC IF YOU CAN'T GET TO IT, FOOL. MOVE ON.
HIROSHI: We're gonna die without the help! We should just off ourselves now and save us the torture! *ANGST ANGST ANGST*
Oh, rich kids and their issues. But, at least they're valid this time.
It doesn't take long for the house to become a complete disaster and Mallory regrets letting the maid go, even if she is a bit of a vag-starer. But she's a lesbian, who is she to judge someone on that?
HIROSHI: This is probably what slaves felt like. They cleaned and cleaned and cleaned until their backs broke, their faces were twisted in agony, and then they DIED. *DRAMATIC FLAIL*
SAKURA: EW, EW, EW, GERMS.
SAKURA: Ahhhh sweet release. Soap and water, I would make love to you if it wasn't creepy. MMPH.
So, to save the kids some pain, I figured Aiko should be the designated cleaning bitch, since she's pretty much the walking dead anyway and doesn't have any kind of real life anymore.
Unfortunately, she died like 6 hours later -___- FML.
AIKO: You're taking me to the golden gates, right? RIGHT?!
REAPER: Uhh... don't think you're on that list, Ma'am.
AIKO: FUUUUUUU--
MONEY! FYEAH.
SAKURA: Really awesome that grandma died and left us a shitload of cash! ;D
That awkward moment when a ghost changes clothes to go outside. YOU'RE DEAD BITCH. YOU AIN'T GONNA CATCH A COLD. D:
Aiko dying seemed to sprout an obsession for Hiroshi. He became fixated with death and any and all things spooky. He started reading books about serial killers and crazy myths almost every night, soaking up as much information as he could.
Great. Cause that's healthy.
HIROSHI: Did you know that there once was this guy who played video games so much that his finger fused to the controls? For the rest of his life he only spoke in game terms and bashed people over the heads with his controller hands if they didn't know what the gaming terms meant. OOOHHHHHHH. CREEPY.
SAKURA: STFU.
Aww, Jiro's got a Kane mane going on xD
SAKURA: THIS, LITTLE BROTHER, IS HOW YOU PLAY PROPERLY! .... No, NO! Stop eating the people! DAMNIT, JIRO! You're doing it all wrong!
HIROSHI: Did you know that aliens sometimes come down from the sky and abduct people? They take you to their spaceships and dissect you and EAT YOUR EYES. Then they wear your intestines as belts and dance the Macarena on your skull!
SAKURA: Omg, STFU. You're such an idiot!
HIROSHI: Oh yeah? Well you're fat!
SAKURA: NUUUUUU!!! *sobs*
Great, now the bitch has an unhealthy body image at a young age and is working out 24/7. Not healthy.
JIRO: PUDDLE GO SPLASH!
-___- Thanks, kid. Cause we didn't have enough mess with the maid gone.
I mean really, LOOK AT THE STATE OF THAT TUB. Ew. I'll be so glad when the week's up and I can get the help back xD
Yay! The twins grew up! Which meanssss.....
Girl, your LTW can go DIAF. Fuck that. My sim house will not be overrode with puppies and kittens. Ever.
Now, if he ends up becoming the heir, I could probably get to work on that ;) GO ON WITH UR BAD SELF, PIMP BOI!
Also, totally awkward when the twins have different zodiacs. I'm just saying.
Yeah, that's attractive. Way to go. This is what happens when you work out to the point of sheer exhaustion.
HIROSHI: I wish I could live in a dark, small space like this. It would fit my black SOUL. *MORE ANGST MORE ANSGT*
So, apparently the solution to not having a maid anymore is to make more of a mess, because they invited Riku, his wife, and his son Jason (named after his grandfather, aww) over for breakfast.
JASON: OMG, I like reading books about creepy shit too!
HIROSHI: Holy shiz! BE MY BFF.
The Bubble Blower: The Sims version of drugs.
RIKU: Damnit! Will you guys start losing already? I need to get enough money for more plastic surgery. I need a fantastic ass to go with my fantastic jaw line!
Jiro grew up into a child! Which prompted Nat and Mallory to figure, hey: the kids are almost grown.. why not make a run for it?
QUICKLY! TO THE BATMOBILE!
With the money they got from Aiko croaking, they bought a vacation home in Takemizu Village. Nothing big or fancy, but it was still theirs regardless.
NATSUKI: I wish.... hmmm... that I can have sex with my wife again and not run the risk of getting her knocked up. Cause that's fucking important. *crickets* COME ON! I'M DYING HERE.
Though Nat was sure her wish didn't work, her and Mallory still made the best out of the weekend:
RANDOM LOCAL: You're aura! It's... it's like a rainbow EXPLOSION!
NATSUKI: COME ON... MOMMA NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES!
Mallory checks out her impressive ass while trying on the local clothes. She decides to buy some for both her and Nat, since she looked so damn sexy in it.
NATSUKI: So... is this one of those massages where I get a happy ending?
MALLORY: [Did your boobs get bigger? Cause damn, girl. You look fuckin' hot in that bathingsuit.]
NATSUKI: *shoves chest out so Mallory can get a better view*
NATSUKI: ROCK OUT, LITTLE DUDE!
TINY LOCAL MAN: What is this 'rock out' you speak of? o.O
CHANDLER THE LOCAL: LULZ. Americans and their funny customs; I must take a picture! UR IN A NIGHTGOWN!
Yeah. Bit awkward.
I AM THE ZEN MASTER
Hey look, it's creeper #2. Maybe he's related to Malcolm.
Mallory attempts to learn the local guesture from Chandler. Surprisingly, she actually manages to succeed pretty damn quickly.
MALLORY: [Damn the contraceptives! We're fucking in this changing booth, babe!]
The lesbian voyeurs enjoy it. But c'mon, wouldn't you? :P
NGL, I've never seen the ninja before so I was wicked excited. Unfortunately the damn thing disappeared before I could have Nat learn to teleport -___-
It was a fun vacation. But, like all good things, it had to end...
MALLORY: [Crap, home again.]
NATSUKI: [UGH, I don't even want to THINK about the mess the kids made when we were gone.]
NEXT TIME...
Nat thinks it's imperative everyone reach enlightenment.