This morning I cried a lot. That was actually good. Not a raging, isolated, terrified cry, but a (is this true? yes.) loving, healing, accepting and surrendering cry ( Read more... )

I hate when people make dramatic posts where we're all supposed to get riled up, and then they turn off the comments feature.

ugh maybe i just hate everyone today.

it's just one of those days. black and white, y'know.

Standing up for what you believe is never easy. Especially when it costs you. You may lose friends and acquire enemies and that's what I've done. I'm not brave or heroic. Quite the opposite but I've realised recently that I have even less if I am passive. It is a virtue to be hated for integrity than be liked for keeping your mouth shut.My illness ( Read more... )

I would like to wake up knowing that my decisions are rational. I would like to feel in control, capable, and not simply lucky that my boyfriend is very patient ( Read more... )

I don't know how to deal with the random feelings of paranoia I have about my relationship. I am constantly thinking my boyfriend is thinking about his ex, thinks I'm boring, or is only with me because he feels like he has to be. And then I'll do stupid things like get really drunk and try to make-out with his friend (who is a girl), or accuse him ( Read more... )

i'll just post this so i don't have to type it again.

Dear Immune System Blog

thanx for the support everyone. :)

thanx for all the good vibes. :)

so far i have been given another platelet transfusion. it only went up to 10000 last they checked. i was down to 7000 when i was told to come back in. they were up to 55000 last wednesday so i don't know what's destroying them. i'll be getting more transfusions. waiting on one to get here tonight. the normal amount ( Read more... )

( Probably angering and triggering and what not )

my dr called saying i need to come back to the emergency room immediately. fuck. fuck fuck. i had my blood taken today and apparently my plateletts are low again. :(

think of me or something. :(

( judgemental )