I went on a Canadian daytime talk show this week that is our version of The View to promote my new comedy album and was completely and rightfully overshadowed by some celebrity guests - TWO ALPACAS WEARING BOW TIES NAMED PACEY AND DAWSON. I didn’t know if I would get to meet them backstage but then I did meet them and it was the best. They were a ( Read more... )

Well, a lot of things have happened and are happening - unfolding even - and some of those things I cannot speak about yet so I figure I'll warm up here until I can. The amount of unfinished drafts I have in here is insane. Oh well.

I turned 40 last month and ever since then I have been gaslit by society into thinking I feel bad and unwell about it ( Read more... )

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I am here in my New York sublet and have been putting off my action plan to write for about a week now. I have something very specific and lengthy to write about detailing my recent excursion to the YUKON territory which is a wild cold sparsely populated mountain zone in northwest Canada bordering Alaska. There are more moose there than people, ( Read more... )

THIS HAS BEEN IN MY DRAFTS WITH ONE SENTENCE ADDED PER DAY FOR WEEKS. MIGHT AS WELL JUST POP THIS ONE OFF TO START THE YEAR.

MAIN TOPICS TO BE DISCUSSED:

GETTING FOOD POISONING FOR THE FIRST TIME:

It was either baked brie or brussel sprouts from a restaurant, which is annoying. Food poisoning should only happen from something hefty and esteemed on ( Read more... )

I DID A SHOW/RECORDED A COMEDY ALBUM IN ATLANTA A FEW WEEKS AGO AND IT WAS GREAT. YOU CAN HEAR IT ON SIRIUSXM RADIO CHANNEL AIRWAVES IN LIKE 3-4 MONTHS.

I FEEL LIKE IF YOU LIVE THERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CALL IT "ATLANNA" WITH NO SECOND T LIKE "TORONNO", BUT I DIDN'T FACT CHECK THAT.

I HAVE PERFORMED IN THE SOUTHERN UNITED STATES OF AMERICA BEFORE ( Read more... )

YOU MIGHT THINK THE FUNNIEST LINE IN "THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY" IS "PA RUM PUM PUM PUM" BUT YOU'RE INCORRECT IT'S ACTUALLY THE PART ABOUT THE OX AND LAMB KEEPING TIME.

YESTERDAY MY PARENTS CAME TO THE CITY FOR LUNCH AND THEY PICKED ME UP AT MY CONDO. MY DAD DOES THIS THING WHERE HE RUMMAGES THROUGH MY PANTRY AND FRIDGE FOR SNACKS LIKE HE'S STEVE URKEL OR SOMETHING AND IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RUDE BUT CONSIDERING HE HAS RECENTLY DECIDED TO ACCEPT MY BISEXUALITY AND OPEN AGNOSTICISM I LET IT SLIDE.

I KEEP MY FREEZER ( Read more... )

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT CRISPERS. "PART CHIP, PART CRACKER, IT'S A CRISPER."


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YOUR FRIENDS SHOULD LEGALLY HAVE TO NOTIFY YOU BY TEXT AND EMAIL WHEN THEY DECIDE TO START WORKING OUT AND TURN INTO THE HULK.

"GREETINGS I HOPE THIS EMAIL FINDS YOU WELL, I'M JUST LETTING YOU KNOW I WILL BE 30% HOTTER BEGINNING THE END OF JUNE. PLEASE CONSIDER ANY NECESSARY PRECAUTIONS IN PREPARATION FOR THIS EVENT."

BASICALLY I WAS CHECKING OUT ( Read more... )