FIC: WHEN OUR FRAMES COLLIDE 11b/16
Title: When Our Frames Collide
Chapter: 11b/16 - Grieve For Me, Not History
Author: carolinablu85. or you can call me Ella! (or you can call me Al, if you like the song...)
Characters: Luke/Noah, Sarah (OC), Jade, Marcus (OC), Holden, Lily, Damian, Lucinda, the Millers (OCs), Jack, Bob, Lucy, Casey, Alison, Ethan, Faith
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: sequel to my fic "Sins of the Father," refers to lots of things that happened in that story, takes place a few months later!
Summary: Sarah is put to work, two families are put at odds, Casey and Ali finally talk, someone is forced to leave Oakdale.
Disclaimer: I disclaim. I own a pair of sneakers, a cellphone, and some other stuff. The show? Nope, not that.
Author's Note: This chapter's title is brought to you by the song "The Shining" by Badly Drawn Boy.
Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10a / Chapter 10b / Chapter 11a /
Casey raised his hand to knock, then stopped. He turned back to the driveway, took two steps, and then went back to the door. Went to knock again. Stopped again. His hand was raised in mid air, wavering back and forth between going for the door and going for his pocket, when the problem was solved for him.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Jade asked as she opened the door.
Casey took a moment to study her before answering. The cut on the side of her head was stitched up, swollen and painful above her right eye. Her wrist was in a cast that stretched from hand to elbow, and she was unconsciously pulling at the sling where it rested on her shoulder. And she was, of course, glaring at him. It was like her default position when he was around.
“I wanted to see how you were,” he answered carefully. That totally wasn’t why he was here, but it was a start.
“Really.” She studied him, and must have realized something was different because she didn’t automatically slam the door in his face. Instead she took a step back, opened the door wider, and gestured for him to come inside.
“Casey!” Ethan rocketed out of the kitchen, headed straight for him.
“What’s up, E-Dog?” he managed to pick Ethan up and balance him on one hip.
Ethan regarded him solemnly. “Luke and Noah in the hospital.”
Casey swallowed hard, kept his voice light. “I know. But they’re going to get all better, aren’t they?”
Ethan nodded vigorously, grin returning. Faith appeared at just that minute. “Ethan! You still have a bowl of mac-and-cheese to finish before you can leave the table, mister.”
Casey managed a grin too, handing the little boy over to his sister, turning back to Jade once they were alone. “How’re you doing?”
Jade’s expression had softened a lot watching Casey and Ethan, but now she went back to her normal expression. “Tired. Cranky. And a little confused.”
He tilted his head to the side. “So. The concussion didn’t really do much to change your disposition, huh?”
She went to smack him but raised the wrong hand. “Damn it,” she muttered, easing her arm back down into the sling.
“Hey, easy,” Casey stepped closer, guiding her to the couch. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to incite violence.”
“You just make it so easy sometimes,” she shot back out of habit. Then she softened again. “What are you doing here?”
“You told me I had to choose,” he said simply.
She stared at him, not letting herself realize what he meant. “Yeah. I did. And?”
“And…” Casey took a deep breath. “I talked to Alison. We broke up.”
She didn’t react exactly like he’d hoped (not that he really had any idea how she’d react). “You broke up with her or she broke up with you?”
He stared at her, knowing he could only tell the truth. “I told her I had feelings for you. She asked me if I wanted to try to work things out with her. We both decided we didn’t. The end.”
“So much for happily ever after,” she snarked, though it was more half-hearted than usual. Then, softer, “You have feelings for me?”
“Yeah,” he answered, just as quiet. “Most of the time they’re rage and annoyance, but sometimes they’re…” he glanced over at her. “Not.”
“Yeah,” she echoed, smiling a little. Casey had never admitted to himself how much he liked her smile. Back when they had been hooking up last year, back when Emily had been paying her to and Casey hadn’t cared, he had always liked how it lit up her face.
He scooted a little closer to her. “You told me I had to choose,” he said again. She raised her eyebrows at him. “I’m choosing now.” And then he kissed her.
This wasn’t like their other kisses. This one was soft, careful, and- dare he think it?- sweet. It wasn’t a messy make-out session. It was a real, honest to God, I-care-about-you kiss. And while that terrified the crap out of Casey, what shocked him more was that he wasn’t ashamed for feeling it.
They broke from each other, taking a deep breath and trying to figure out where to go from here. “There’s something else,” Jade said then, frowning, studying him. “Something else is wrong. What is it?”
Casey choked on his exhale. “You need to get better quick, alright? Luke’s going to need you.”
She sat up straighter, alarmed. “Luke? Is Luke okay? What happened?”
He continued as though he hadn’t heard her. “I’m going to need you too, I think. So you have to get better and be back to your normal bitchy self as soon as possible.”
“Casey,” she grabbed his face, holding it close. It was the first time she’d done this that Casey wasn’t waiting for a smack to the head. Which was nice. “Casey. Tell me what’s going on.”
And he had no room left for jokes. He deflated, leaning into her hands a little more. “It’s… it’s about Noah.”
************
Lucy and Krista both nodded to him when he glanced back at them. It was a specific nod, the international symbol for ‘We’ll keep watch.’ He couldn’t bring himself to nod back, because he didn’t care. If they really wanted to help him, help Noah, then they wouldn’t let him be shipped away.
Luke wheeled himself into the room, shutting the door quickly behind him before anyone could follow. He kept his head down, eyes on his lap, unable to face the reality lying in the hospital bed in front of him. What felt like three centuries passed before Luke was able to raise his head and face his boyfriend. His wounded, unconscious boyfriend. Noah lay on the bed, looking almost childlike in a light blue hospital gown.
His chair rolled along as though lead anvils were tied to its sides, moving slowly over next to Noah’s bed. He opened his mouth, wanting to sigh but not able to produce enough oxygen. Shallow, quick breaths were all Luke could handle as he reached out, putting one of his hands over Noah’s. He rubbed his thumb gently over the knuckles. Usually when he did that Noah would turn his hand over, curl his own fingers in so they could link together. But now there was nothing. No movement, no sound, nothing.
“Noah?” he whispered. Nothing. Noah’s eyes remained closed. “Noah, baby, it’s me. I’m here. Don’t worry, okay? I’m here.” He propped his elbows up on the side of the bed, still holding onto his hand. Since Noah wouldn’t curl his fingers, Luke did it for him. He latched their hands together, using his free one to trace the lines across Noah’s skin from his knuckles down to his wrist.
“Come on babe, I only have like ten more minutes, you have to wake up!” he begged.
Noah could never stand it when he begged. Apparently not even when he was unconscious, because seconds later his eyelids fluttered open and closed a few times. The hand Luke was holding twitched, and just as Luke figured out a way to start breathing again, Noah’s eyes opened. And focused on him.
“Hey,” Luke said softly, squeezing his hand. He wanted more than anything to run his hand through Noah’s hair, but was terrified of hurting him or the skull fracture.
“Luke?” Noah’s voice was soft and sandpaper-rough.
“Yeah, Noah.” He kissed the hand quickly, reassuring. “How do you feel?”
Noah frowned just a little, his eyes glazed over. “My head. Feels big. Is it big?”
He couldn’t help but smile. “No, it’s head-size.” He leaned in and kissed his forehead gently, willing himself not to cry.
“What happened?” Noah was still frowning when Luke settled back in his chair again.
“There was a car accident,” he decided to keep the answers simple, figuring Noah probably wouldn’t be able to grasp anything more than that.
“No,” Noah protested. “I’m a good driver.”
He smiled, resting a hand on Noah’s shoulder and rubbing it slowly. “Yeah, you are. You weren’t driving, love. Jade was.” At his worried look, “She’s okay though. She’s fine.”
“You. In the car?” Noah winced a little, trying to reach up and rub at his head.
Luke stopped him before he could tangle up any wires or mess with any sutures. “Yeah, I was there too. But I’m okay. See?” He smiled wide, kissing Noah’s hand again.
“Good,” Noah sighed, relaxing into the bed again. Not letting go of Luke’s hand. “Stay with me?”
Luke bit his lip hard. How was he supposed to do this? He swore about a hundred times in his head, English and Italian. “No, baby, I can’t. I won’t be with you next time you wake up,” he tried to keep his voice steady but was pretty sure he failed.
Noah frowned again, obstinate. “You’re always here.”
“But you won’t be,” Luke near-whispered.
His eyes widened, confused. He started to shake his head as vehemently as he could, even though it obviously hurt to do so. “No. No. I won’t leave you, I promise.”
“Noah…” he moved his hand from Noah’s shoulder to his chest, laying it flat, trying to calm him. “I know that. But they’re going to take you to see a new doctor. To make sure you get better. So you’re going to be gone for a little while, but I’ll see you soon, okay?”
Noah just watched him for a moment, and Luke silently pleaded with him to understand. Noah closed his eyes with another wince, then opened them slowly. “’M tired,” he mumbled.
And Luke hoped he was tired enough to not see the tears spilling down Luke’s face now. “That’s okay,” he lowered his voice. “Go back to sleep. You’ll feel better next time you wake up.”
Noah tugged a little on Luke’s hand, even as his eyes closed yet again. “Stay here with me, ’kay?” He let out a slow, heavy breath. “Be here when I wake up…”
Luke felt like he’d just been punched in the chest. God, Noah didn’t understand, did he? He was still too out of it. “Noah, baby, I-” he looked down. Noah’s eyes were closed, his breathing deep. Asleep. Luke cursed again, squeezing his own eyes shut tightly. “Damn it.”
“Luke.” Lucy stood in the open doorway, watching him sadly. “I have to get you back to your room.”
Luke wanted to throw a tantrum, scream and cry and stomp his feet and handcuff himself to Noah. But he was just so damn tired. How many different ways and how many times was he going to have to watch Noah disappear? It wasn’t fair.
“Luke,” his cousin said again. “I’m so sorry.”
He didn’t acknowledge her. Everyone was saying they were sorry. It didn’t matter. It didn’t help. Instead of answering her, he turned back to Noah once more, leaning forward in his chair again so he could press one last (don’t say last!) kiss on Noah’s soft, unresponsive lips.
“Noah,” he whispered, hoping Lucy couldn’t hear him. “I’ll see you soon, I promise.” Another kiss before Lucy could grab his wheelchair and pull him away. “This is not a goodbye.”
This couldn’t be a goodbye.
************
Holden schooled his face to calm and reassuring as he entered Luke’s room. If he was really smart and really paying attention, he wouldn’t have gone in; the stormcloud hanging over Luke’s head could be felt all the way down the hall. But Holden wasn’t on top of his game. Noah was leaving today. And Holden was angry and worried and feeling completely helpless.
Much like his son was, unfortunately. “What now?” Luke grunted when Holden stepped inside.
Holden kept his voice steady. “They’re leaving soon. In a few minutes. The transport-”
“You mean the kidnapping?” he bit out.
“Luke…” That was as far as he got before the stormcloud erupted.
“What, Dad? What are you going to say, in all your Dad-wisdom, that will make me feel better? Huh?” Luke must be getting better, because his glare was in full force. “How can you be so calm about this? Don’t you care at all that Noah’s getting taken away? Against his will? Don’t you care?”
He almost yelled back. Almost. “Of course I do, Luke. You think I want this to happen?”
“Well why don’t you act like it then?” Luke’s voice just got sharper. Even more bitter. “You wouldn’t let me go see Noah when I woke up. If I had been there, he might have gotten better faster. Then you just sat there while the Millers told us they were taking Noah.” He shook his head, angry tears springing out. “You just sat there. You didn’t argue.”
“Luke, I couldn’t-”
“You didn’t get upset,” Luke wouldn’t let him get a word in. “You didn’t fight them on it. You let it happen. You let them take Noah!” He was getting more and more worked up.
Holden took a step closer, now worried that Luke going to hurt himself. “Hey, you have to-”
“Don’t.” He was back to growling. “Don’t tell me to calm down. Don’t tell me not to worry about him. Don’t tell me what to do or feel. Don’t tell me you’re sorry. I don’t care.”
“There’s nothing we can do right now, Luke,” he tried to explain. “And we can’t let you go with him, you know that.”
“Then why can’t you go with him?” Luke argued. “Or Mom or Jack? Why can’t Doctor Weston go? Am I the only person who actually wants to help Noah? No one else seems to care!”
He’s upset, Holden reminded himself, ignoring the ache in his chest at Luke’s words. He’s just upset, he’s taking it out on you. It was another reason he couldn’t tell Luke everything, like how the Millers had gotten the medical equivalent of a restraining order against the Snyder family, convincing a judge that they would bring unnecessary stress to a fragile patient. Luke would quite possibly murder someone if he knew that. “I know how you feel, son.”
“No! If you did, you wouldn’t let them take Noah. But you’re not doing anything to fight for him. You’re letting them go. You’re letting him go. Like he doesn’t matter!” He tensed visibly when Holden took a step closer to him. “Get out.”
“Luke…” Was that all Holden could say right now? His name?
“Get out,” Luke repeated. “I don’t want you here. I don’t want anyone here. Get out.”
“I don’t want Noah-” he tried to say something…
“Just go.” But Luke didn’t want to hear it. He slouched down farther in his bed, crossing his arms defiantly.
He looked so wrecked that it nearly killed Holden to head back to the door, but he knew there was no point in reasoning with his son when he was like this. “I’ll be back to check on you later,” he managed to say. But just before he left, maybe because he was glutton for punishment, he tried one more time. “I love Noah like a son, Luke. Like I love you. And it’s killing me to have to let him go. But I… I promise he’ll be coming back. I know he will.”
Luke just stared down at his blanket-covered lap, not acknowledging a word.
Holden let out a heavy, dragging sigh as he walked down the hall to the elevator. This was going to be one of the longest days of his life, he could tell. And of course that had to happen, just when Holden thought he and Luke were finally coming to an understanding and mending fences… this had to happen.
When the elevator doors slid open, he was shocked to see Marcus already on, obviously heading to the same place he was. They tried to smile at each other and failed miserably. “Going up?” the older man asked.
“Of course,” he answered, wishing he wasn’t.
They traveled in relative silence for a minute before Marcus spoke. “How’s Luke?”
Whatever sound came out of Holden was supposed to be a laugh, but it didn’t turn out that way. “Physically, okay.”
Marcus didn’t need to ask about ‘emotionally.’ He shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I tried to petition, as Noah’s therapist, to have him kept here. With all of you. Normally I think that would have been enough, but the Millers’ lawyer knew I was involved with Lucinda and argued that I was too close to the case,” Marcus straightened his jacket, needing to keep his hands moving for some reason.
It was Holden’s turn to shake his head, put his hand firmly on Marcus’s shoulder. “Not your fault, Doc. Not at all. And I know for a fact that Noah wouldn’t be doing as well as he is with his life right now if it weren’t for you. It may not help, but I for one am glad that you’re too close to the case.”
After a beat, Marcus nodded. Before he could say anything, the doors to the top floor opened, and the two men had barely stepped out of the elevator when they ran into the people in question. Eric and Autumn were standing at the doors that led out to the rooftop and helicopter pad, waiting for the airlift to land. Next to them were a medical team and, unconscious on a stretcher, Noah.
While Marcus stopped to talk to the Millers, Holden ignored them completely and approached Noah. Behind him he could hear the parents explain that Justin and Krista had already left, were returning their rental car and flying back. Holden didn’t care. He looked down at Noah, one hand going to his shoulder, just resting there.
He didn’t know how long he stayed that way, but it was too soon in Holden’s opinion. Before he knew it the air-transport had landed, ready to take Eric, Autumn, and Noah away.
Before anyone could move him, Holden leaned down and dropped a quick kiss onto Noah’s forehead, hating that Noah didn’t even stir. “Be strong, kiddo,” he whispered. “And get back here soon. We’ll be waiting.” Then he stood up, finally facing the Millers. They looked at him, worried but defensive. “Take care of him,” he ordered. Not waiting for a response, he walked past them back to the elevator.
Marcus joined him a moment later. “I can’t believe this is happening,” he muttered. “It’s unreal.”
Holden grunted an agreement. “I can’t figure out when it all went so wrong. And why that family suddenly thinks we’re some danger to Noah. It doesn’t make sense.”
“Tragedy rarely does,” Marcus offered, watching with sad, somber eyes as Noah’s stretcher was loaded into the transport.
“Damn it,” Holden sighed more than spoke. He wasn’t sure if he could do this. Because he knew the second that transport lifted off the ground that he’d be losing not one, but two boys. With every second that Noah was gone from them, Luke might as well be too.
And when the helicopter finally took off, Holden turned away.
He couldn’t watch.
TO BE CONTINUED! Coming Up: Luke tries to get news about Noah, Casey and Jade attempt a first date, Krista worries about Noah's progress, someone formulates a super-secret rescue plan...
Chapter: 11b/16 - Grieve For Me, Not History
Author: carolinablu85. or you can call me Ella! (or you can call me Al, if you like the song...)
Characters: Luke/Noah, Sarah (OC), Jade, Marcus (OC), Holden, Lily, Damian, Lucinda, the Millers (OCs), Jack, Bob, Lucy, Casey, Alison, Ethan, Faith
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: sequel to my fic "Sins of the Father," refers to lots of things that happened in that story, takes place a few months later!
Summary: Sarah is put to work, two families are put at odds, Casey and Ali finally talk, someone is forced to leave Oakdale.
Disclaimer: I disclaim. I own a pair of sneakers, a cellphone, and some other stuff. The show? Nope, not that.
Author's Note: This chapter's title is brought to you by the song "The Shining" by Badly Drawn Boy.
Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10a / Chapter 10b / Chapter 11a /
Casey raised his hand to knock, then stopped. He turned back to the driveway, took two steps, and then went back to the door. Went to knock again. Stopped again. His hand was raised in mid air, wavering back and forth between going for the door and going for his pocket, when the problem was solved for him.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Jade asked as she opened the door.
Casey took a moment to study her before answering. The cut on the side of her head was stitched up, swollen and painful above her right eye. Her wrist was in a cast that stretched from hand to elbow, and she was unconsciously pulling at the sling where it rested on her shoulder. And she was, of course, glaring at him. It was like her default position when he was around.
“I wanted to see how you were,” he answered carefully. That totally wasn’t why he was here, but it was a start.
“Really.” She studied him, and must have realized something was different because she didn’t automatically slam the door in his face. Instead she took a step back, opened the door wider, and gestured for him to come inside.
“Casey!” Ethan rocketed out of the kitchen, headed straight for him.
“What’s up, E-Dog?” he managed to pick Ethan up and balance him on one hip.
Ethan regarded him solemnly. “Luke and Noah in the hospital.”
Casey swallowed hard, kept his voice light. “I know. But they’re going to get all better, aren’t they?”
Ethan nodded vigorously, grin returning. Faith appeared at just that minute. “Ethan! You still have a bowl of mac-and-cheese to finish before you can leave the table, mister.”
Casey managed a grin too, handing the little boy over to his sister, turning back to Jade once they were alone. “How’re you doing?”
Jade’s expression had softened a lot watching Casey and Ethan, but now she went back to her normal expression. “Tired. Cranky. And a little confused.”
He tilted his head to the side. “So. The concussion didn’t really do much to change your disposition, huh?”
She went to smack him but raised the wrong hand. “Damn it,” she muttered, easing her arm back down into the sling.
“Hey, easy,” Casey stepped closer, guiding her to the couch. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to incite violence.”
“You just make it so easy sometimes,” she shot back out of habit. Then she softened again. “What are you doing here?”
“You told me I had to choose,” he said simply.
She stared at him, not letting herself realize what he meant. “Yeah. I did. And?”
“And…” Casey took a deep breath. “I talked to Alison. We broke up.”
She didn’t react exactly like he’d hoped (not that he really had any idea how she’d react). “You broke up with her or she broke up with you?”
He stared at her, knowing he could only tell the truth. “I told her I had feelings for you. She asked me if I wanted to try to work things out with her. We both decided we didn’t. The end.”
“So much for happily ever after,” she snarked, though it was more half-hearted than usual. Then, softer, “You have feelings for me?”
“Yeah,” he answered, just as quiet. “Most of the time they’re rage and annoyance, but sometimes they’re…” he glanced over at her. “Not.”
“Yeah,” she echoed, smiling a little. Casey had never admitted to himself how much he liked her smile. Back when they had been hooking up last year, back when Emily had been paying her to and Casey hadn’t cared, he had always liked how it lit up her face.
He scooted a little closer to her. “You told me I had to choose,” he said again. She raised her eyebrows at him. “I’m choosing now.” And then he kissed her.
This wasn’t like their other kisses. This one was soft, careful, and- dare he think it?- sweet. It wasn’t a messy make-out session. It was a real, honest to God, I-care-about-you kiss. And while that terrified the crap out of Casey, what shocked him more was that he wasn’t ashamed for feeling it.
They broke from each other, taking a deep breath and trying to figure out where to go from here. “There’s something else,” Jade said then, frowning, studying him. “Something else is wrong. What is it?”
Casey choked on his exhale. “You need to get better quick, alright? Luke’s going to need you.”
She sat up straighter, alarmed. “Luke? Is Luke okay? What happened?”
He continued as though he hadn’t heard her. “I’m going to need you too, I think. So you have to get better and be back to your normal bitchy self as soon as possible.”
“Casey,” she grabbed his face, holding it close. It was the first time she’d done this that Casey wasn’t waiting for a smack to the head. Which was nice. “Casey. Tell me what’s going on.”
And he had no room left for jokes. He deflated, leaning into her hands a little more. “It’s… it’s about Noah.”
************
Lucy and Krista both nodded to him when he glanced back at them. It was a specific nod, the international symbol for ‘We’ll keep watch.’ He couldn’t bring himself to nod back, because he didn’t care. If they really wanted to help him, help Noah, then they wouldn’t let him be shipped away.
Luke wheeled himself into the room, shutting the door quickly behind him before anyone could follow. He kept his head down, eyes on his lap, unable to face the reality lying in the hospital bed in front of him. What felt like three centuries passed before Luke was able to raise his head and face his boyfriend. His wounded, unconscious boyfriend. Noah lay on the bed, looking almost childlike in a light blue hospital gown.
His chair rolled along as though lead anvils were tied to its sides, moving slowly over next to Noah’s bed. He opened his mouth, wanting to sigh but not able to produce enough oxygen. Shallow, quick breaths were all Luke could handle as he reached out, putting one of his hands over Noah’s. He rubbed his thumb gently over the knuckles. Usually when he did that Noah would turn his hand over, curl his own fingers in so they could link together. But now there was nothing. No movement, no sound, nothing.
“Noah?” he whispered. Nothing. Noah’s eyes remained closed. “Noah, baby, it’s me. I’m here. Don’t worry, okay? I’m here.” He propped his elbows up on the side of the bed, still holding onto his hand. Since Noah wouldn’t curl his fingers, Luke did it for him. He latched their hands together, using his free one to trace the lines across Noah’s skin from his knuckles down to his wrist.
“Come on babe, I only have like ten more minutes, you have to wake up!” he begged.
Noah could never stand it when he begged. Apparently not even when he was unconscious, because seconds later his eyelids fluttered open and closed a few times. The hand Luke was holding twitched, and just as Luke figured out a way to start breathing again, Noah’s eyes opened. And focused on him.
“Hey,” Luke said softly, squeezing his hand. He wanted more than anything to run his hand through Noah’s hair, but was terrified of hurting him or the skull fracture.
“Luke?” Noah’s voice was soft and sandpaper-rough.
“Yeah, Noah.” He kissed the hand quickly, reassuring. “How do you feel?”
Noah frowned just a little, his eyes glazed over. “My head. Feels big. Is it big?”
He couldn’t help but smile. “No, it’s head-size.” He leaned in and kissed his forehead gently, willing himself not to cry.
“What happened?” Noah was still frowning when Luke settled back in his chair again.
“There was a car accident,” he decided to keep the answers simple, figuring Noah probably wouldn’t be able to grasp anything more than that.
“No,” Noah protested. “I’m a good driver.”
He smiled, resting a hand on Noah’s shoulder and rubbing it slowly. “Yeah, you are. You weren’t driving, love. Jade was.” At his worried look, “She’s okay though. She’s fine.”
“You. In the car?” Noah winced a little, trying to reach up and rub at his head.
Luke stopped him before he could tangle up any wires or mess with any sutures. “Yeah, I was there too. But I’m okay. See?” He smiled wide, kissing Noah’s hand again.
“Good,” Noah sighed, relaxing into the bed again. Not letting go of Luke’s hand. “Stay with me?”
Luke bit his lip hard. How was he supposed to do this? He swore about a hundred times in his head, English and Italian. “No, baby, I can’t. I won’t be with you next time you wake up,” he tried to keep his voice steady but was pretty sure he failed.
Noah frowned again, obstinate. “You’re always here.”
“But you won’t be,” Luke near-whispered.
His eyes widened, confused. He started to shake his head as vehemently as he could, even though it obviously hurt to do so. “No. No. I won’t leave you, I promise.”
“Noah…” he moved his hand from Noah’s shoulder to his chest, laying it flat, trying to calm him. “I know that. But they’re going to take you to see a new doctor. To make sure you get better. So you’re going to be gone for a little while, but I’ll see you soon, okay?”
Noah just watched him for a moment, and Luke silently pleaded with him to understand. Noah closed his eyes with another wince, then opened them slowly. “’M tired,” he mumbled.
And Luke hoped he was tired enough to not see the tears spilling down Luke’s face now. “That’s okay,” he lowered his voice. “Go back to sleep. You’ll feel better next time you wake up.”
Noah tugged a little on Luke’s hand, even as his eyes closed yet again. “Stay here with me, ’kay?” He let out a slow, heavy breath. “Be here when I wake up…”
Luke felt like he’d just been punched in the chest. God, Noah didn’t understand, did he? He was still too out of it. “Noah, baby, I-” he looked down. Noah’s eyes were closed, his breathing deep. Asleep. Luke cursed again, squeezing his own eyes shut tightly. “Damn it.”
“Luke.” Lucy stood in the open doorway, watching him sadly. “I have to get you back to your room.”
Luke wanted to throw a tantrum, scream and cry and stomp his feet and handcuff himself to Noah. But he was just so damn tired. How many different ways and how many times was he going to have to watch Noah disappear? It wasn’t fair.
“Luke,” his cousin said again. “I’m so sorry.”
He didn’t acknowledge her. Everyone was saying they were sorry. It didn’t matter. It didn’t help. Instead of answering her, he turned back to Noah once more, leaning forward in his chair again so he could press one last (don’t say last!) kiss on Noah’s soft, unresponsive lips.
“Noah,” he whispered, hoping Lucy couldn’t hear him. “I’ll see you soon, I promise.” Another kiss before Lucy could grab his wheelchair and pull him away. “This is not a goodbye.”
This couldn’t be a goodbye.
************
Holden schooled his face to calm and reassuring as he entered Luke’s room. If he was really smart and really paying attention, he wouldn’t have gone in; the stormcloud hanging over Luke’s head could be felt all the way down the hall. But Holden wasn’t on top of his game. Noah was leaving today. And Holden was angry and worried and feeling completely helpless.
Much like his son was, unfortunately. “What now?” Luke grunted when Holden stepped inside.
Holden kept his voice steady. “They’re leaving soon. In a few minutes. The transport-”
“You mean the kidnapping?” he bit out.
“Luke…” That was as far as he got before the stormcloud erupted.
“What, Dad? What are you going to say, in all your Dad-wisdom, that will make me feel better? Huh?” Luke must be getting better, because his glare was in full force. “How can you be so calm about this? Don’t you care at all that Noah’s getting taken away? Against his will? Don’t you care?”
He almost yelled back. Almost. “Of course I do, Luke. You think I want this to happen?”
“Well why don’t you act like it then?” Luke’s voice just got sharper. Even more bitter. “You wouldn’t let me go see Noah when I woke up. If I had been there, he might have gotten better faster. Then you just sat there while the Millers told us they were taking Noah.” He shook his head, angry tears springing out. “You just sat there. You didn’t argue.”
“Luke, I couldn’t-”
“You didn’t get upset,” Luke wouldn’t let him get a word in. “You didn’t fight them on it. You let it happen. You let them take Noah!” He was getting more and more worked up.
Holden took a step closer, now worried that Luke going to hurt himself. “Hey, you have to-”
“Don’t.” He was back to growling. “Don’t tell me to calm down. Don’t tell me not to worry about him. Don’t tell me what to do or feel. Don’t tell me you’re sorry. I don’t care.”
“There’s nothing we can do right now, Luke,” he tried to explain. “And we can’t let you go with him, you know that.”
“Then why can’t you go with him?” Luke argued. “Or Mom or Jack? Why can’t Doctor Weston go? Am I the only person who actually wants to help Noah? No one else seems to care!”
He’s upset, Holden reminded himself, ignoring the ache in his chest at Luke’s words. He’s just upset, he’s taking it out on you. It was another reason he couldn’t tell Luke everything, like how the Millers had gotten the medical equivalent of a restraining order against the Snyder family, convincing a judge that they would bring unnecessary stress to a fragile patient. Luke would quite possibly murder someone if he knew that. “I know how you feel, son.”
“No! If you did, you wouldn’t let them take Noah. But you’re not doing anything to fight for him. You’re letting them go. You’re letting him go. Like he doesn’t matter!” He tensed visibly when Holden took a step closer to him. “Get out.”
“Luke…” Was that all Holden could say right now? His name?
“Get out,” Luke repeated. “I don’t want you here. I don’t want anyone here. Get out.”
“I don’t want Noah-” he tried to say something…
“Just go.” But Luke didn’t want to hear it. He slouched down farther in his bed, crossing his arms defiantly.
He looked so wrecked that it nearly killed Holden to head back to the door, but he knew there was no point in reasoning with his son when he was like this. “I’ll be back to check on you later,” he managed to say. But just before he left, maybe because he was glutton for punishment, he tried one more time. “I love Noah like a son, Luke. Like I love you. And it’s killing me to have to let him go. But I… I promise he’ll be coming back. I know he will.”
Luke just stared down at his blanket-covered lap, not acknowledging a word.
Holden let out a heavy, dragging sigh as he walked down the hall to the elevator. This was going to be one of the longest days of his life, he could tell. And of course that had to happen, just when Holden thought he and Luke were finally coming to an understanding and mending fences… this had to happen.
When the elevator doors slid open, he was shocked to see Marcus already on, obviously heading to the same place he was. They tried to smile at each other and failed miserably. “Going up?” the older man asked.
“Of course,” he answered, wishing he wasn’t.
They traveled in relative silence for a minute before Marcus spoke. “How’s Luke?”
Whatever sound came out of Holden was supposed to be a laugh, but it didn’t turn out that way. “Physically, okay.”
Marcus didn’t need to ask about ‘emotionally.’ He shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I tried to petition, as Noah’s therapist, to have him kept here. With all of you. Normally I think that would have been enough, but the Millers’ lawyer knew I was involved with Lucinda and argued that I was too close to the case,” Marcus straightened his jacket, needing to keep his hands moving for some reason.
It was Holden’s turn to shake his head, put his hand firmly on Marcus’s shoulder. “Not your fault, Doc. Not at all. And I know for a fact that Noah wouldn’t be doing as well as he is with his life right now if it weren’t for you. It may not help, but I for one am glad that you’re too close to the case.”
After a beat, Marcus nodded. Before he could say anything, the doors to the top floor opened, and the two men had barely stepped out of the elevator when they ran into the people in question. Eric and Autumn were standing at the doors that led out to the rooftop and helicopter pad, waiting for the airlift to land. Next to them were a medical team and, unconscious on a stretcher, Noah.
While Marcus stopped to talk to the Millers, Holden ignored them completely and approached Noah. Behind him he could hear the parents explain that Justin and Krista had already left, were returning their rental car and flying back. Holden didn’t care. He looked down at Noah, one hand going to his shoulder, just resting there.
He didn’t know how long he stayed that way, but it was too soon in Holden’s opinion. Before he knew it the air-transport had landed, ready to take Eric, Autumn, and Noah away.
Before anyone could move him, Holden leaned down and dropped a quick kiss onto Noah’s forehead, hating that Noah didn’t even stir. “Be strong, kiddo,” he whispered. “And get back here soon. We’ll be waiting.” Then he stood up, finally facing the Millers. They looked at him, worried but defensive. “Take care of him,” he ordered. Not waiting for a response, he walked past them back to the elevator.
Marcus joined him a moment later. “I can’t believe this is happening,” he muttered. “It’s unreal.”
Holden grunted an agreement. “I can’t figure out when it all went so wrong. And why that family suddenly thinks we’re some danger to Noah. It doesn’t make sense.”
“Tragedy rarely does,” Marcus offered, watching with sad, somber eyes as Noah’s stretcher was loaded into the transport.
“Damn it,” Holden sighed more than spoke. He wasn’t sure if he could do this. Because he knew the second that transport lifted off the ground that he’d be losing not one, but two boys. With every second that Noah was gone from them, Luke might as well be too.
And when the helicopter finally took off, Holden turned away.
He couldn’t watch.
TO BE CONTINUED! Coming Up: Luke tries to get news about Noah, Casey and Jade attempt a first date, Krista worries about Noah's progress, someone formulates a super-secret rescue plan...