You don't wanna go out in this shit and you're yelling medic?

[croakvegas]

OMG GUYS

IT'S TIME




Eugene Roe

♥

OH JESUS, MY HEART.


This is a massively epic undertaking and will, I repeat, WILL, break your computer/Photobucket/the internet. Where possible to use but one cap, I have instead elected to use 390379 caps. YOU KNOW WHY.

So the poll results came in, and YOU ALL HAVE SPOKEN. This thing will end with Winnix.




MASSIVE BOB PICSPAM NUMBER FIFTEEN: Doc Roe

I think I'd be right in saying that he's the most universally loved BoB character in the whole of the fandom.

In any case, if you weren't aware, he is my favourite character. ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE. I can't even put it into words how much he is my favourite. So, yeah. Excessive squeeing and fawning over Doc Roe ahead. But IDK if I can make this lulzy. I think I love him too much. And there are so many caps that I may skimp on the commentary at times. JUST LOOK AT THE PICTURES.

I will try to describe why I love him, though :D

Having finished this, and read over it, there is so much fangirling that normally I would apologise, but, yeah, it's Doc Roe. IT'S A NATURAL REACTION. But yeah. I'm not that coherent/intelligent in my thoughts :D




It pleases me no end that the first BoBer we see, in the whole series, is Doc Roe. Close up on his little frowny face. And then we flash back and HE IS IN HIS PT GEAR. HI LITTLE THIGHS :D




His little face of disapproval ♥




And now would be a good time to mention that my one BoB crack!ship is Roe/Winters. I blame one particular set of fic for this. I know Winnix and Babe/Roe are canon, but yeah. I CANNOT DENY THIS EITHER.




Doc Roe just looks at him in a ~certain~ way and yeah. I'M CONVINCED.




In Carentan we first see Doc Roe being his awesome brave self,




And I will point out his lovely, lovely hands. I would be correct in saying that fandom loves Doc's hands, amiright? Sadly, for me, they are only one of MANY Doc Roe features I obsess over. Heh.




AND THEN THIS IS THE SCENE WHERE WE HEAR HIM SPEAK FOR THE FIRST TIME.

OMG.

HIS VOICE.




His voice/accent is #2 on my list of Doc Roe attributes to obsess over.




Also, please be noting the way he looks at Winters in this scene. Part total respect, part something else. JUST SAYING :D




I ALSO LIKE HOW GENTLY HE HOLDS WINTERS' ANKLE.




AND HOW HE DABS AT IT WITH HIS LITTLE WEE COTTON BALL. GENTLY.




And then he pulls a Roe!face and I love him even more.




And NO I HAVE NOT GONE OVERBOARD WITH CAPS FROM THIS SCENE.

Also #3: HIS MOUTH/LIPS. OM NOM NOM.




Anyway, so after the whole Blithe situation, I always LOL, because Winters is all "WTF???"




And Roe is all "pfft IDK,"




"Can we get back to me feeling up your ankle plz?"




Anyway, so then Blithe gets shot, and we get to see action Roe, bounding through the bushes,




And I know it's perverse, but whenever we see Roe treat someone, the whole time I am just like HANDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ♥




And then we see his frowny little face, listening intently, and #4: ROE'S FROWN.




Pretty Roe in the grass.




HEROIC ROE IN (NEAR? IDK) EINDHOVEN (OR IS IT NEUNEN?)




I just love this scene where he bounds out into the gunfire to go and get that guy who was shot, and Web is all :O




And then action Roe bounds into action with Buck.




And Alley, where he is all authoritative and takes charge and yeah. MMM.




HANDS.

I also love his voice in this scene, when he goes 'Hey Alley'. Most soothing voice EVER.




AND THEN HE IS GETTING COFFEE FOR WINTERS




AND I LOVE THIS LITTLE SCENE SO SO SO SO SO MUCH.
It speaks volumes about Roe and the kind of character he is, being all thoughtful and considerate and selfless and blah blah blah I HATE USING WORDS LIKE THAT BUT IT'S TRUE.




This was also the scene, during my first watch, where I was first really like "HMM I THINK I LIKE THIS DOC FELLOW. HE IS RATHER NICE" in spite of the fact that he'd had very little face time and even less dialogue.




Also, the Doc/Winters fan in me screams LOOK AT HOW HE LOOKS AT HIM. LOOK AT IT.




AND THEN WE HAVE THE SCENE OF RIGHTEOUS ANGER. OMG THIS SCENE.




I LOVE IT EVEN MORE THAN THE SCENE BEFORE. I LOVE IT SO MUCH THAT IT REQUIRES ALL CAPS.




THIS WAS THE SCENE THAT MADE ME GO "FUCK YES I LOVE THIS GUY HE IS AWESOME"

HE IS ALL QUIET NORMALLY AND THEN HE EXPLODES AND YELLS AT HARRY AND DICK AND HE CAN YELL AT HARRY AND DICK AND GET AWAY WITH IT AND MAKE THEM REMORSEFUL AND GOD I LOVE THIS SCENE.




AND THEN HE FUCKING POINTS HIS FINGER AT THEM AND I DIE. LOOK AT THE ANGER. THE RIGHTEOUS ANGER. I LOVE IT.




And fuck it, I need to make a gif of this to capture the glory of the yelling and finger pointing and remorseful Harry/Dick.




"YOU ARE OFFICERS YOU ARE GROWN-UPS YOU OUGHTA KNOW"

OH

MY

GOD

♥




So then we're in Bastogne, and it's a Roe Bonanza.




I'm going to try to NOT cap every single frame with Roe in it, because yeah, I don't think that LJ (and my sanity) would allow a post that long, heh.




BUT LET ME JUST SAY THAT I LOVE HIS LITTLE PINK NOSE IN THIS EPISODE. #6 (I think): DOC'S NOSE. HE'S LIKE RUDOLPH.




I love that this episode shows how he hangs about on the fringes of everything, that he's never really a part of everything, that he keeps himself just apart, blah blah blah we all know the significance of this BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE TUG AT MY HEART ANY LESS.




Anyway, these episodes also play on my Winters/Roe fangirl as well, heh ♥




And we're also introduced to Spina, who I kind of love as a foil to Roe.




And Doc's morphine obsession...




Plus a whole series of lulzy little Doc faces.




ALSO IT IS WORTH MENTIONING THAT I LOVE HOW HE BASICALLY IGNORES DIKE IN THIS SCENE, HAHAHAHA




Anyway, we get a whole heap of action Roe in Bastogne.




I know I've already mentioned this scene with Smokey, but it is worth noting again because of




a) DOC ROE TONGUE!PORN




and b) THE BRIEFEST HINT OF A DOC SMILE :D




Anyway, Smokey is adorable,




But the shelling starts and we get some more awesome action Roe (I love how he just runs, and ducks, and weaves, all without any concern for his own safety. I DON'T THINK I REALLY NEED TO REITERATE HOW BRAVE HE IS)




And when he yells at people, we see some more lulzy faces




AHAHAHA I LOVE HIM YELLING AT PENK. ROE IS ALWAYS RIGHT WHEN HE YELLS.




But because he is awesome and selfless, he sends Spina off to get a hot meal,




And this moment, where he just stops and breathes for a moment,




Leads me to #7: HIS HAIR. HIS AWESOME, BLACK BLACK BLACK SPIKY HAIR. I remember reading it described somewhere in a fic as like animal hair, all coarse and thick and spiky, and I couldn't think of a more apt description.




So then the Hinkel scene, where he looks all wistful and adorable off to one side,




And he's listening in but not getting involved,




And again, my heart kind of aches a little...




BUT THEN HE IS LAUGHING AND SMOKING, AND YEAH.




DEAD.




He then talks to Dike, and I love that he's very subtly condescending to Dike in this scene, hee.




But the 'I don't recall' scene always makes me really sad. IDK why it's just this moment, but the look on his face, I just feel terrible for some reason.




However, sad Roe becomes genuinely gleeful Roe, because MORPHINE :DDDDDD hahahaha I love that this is pretty much the happiest we see him all episode...




And then we have one of my favourite little Roe moments, where he says a prayer and we get a nice shot of his crotch




Anyway, morning comes, and time for more action Roe going to help poor bb Skinny who, as I've said, makes the best faces in this scene :D




But this scene is important




Because it leads to him going into town, or more specifically, into the church




Where he wanders about looking a little gaunt for a bit and we see some more Roe frowns




AND HE EVEN CRACKS A WEE BIT OF A SMILE AT BB SKINNY,




And most importantly of all, we meet Renee.




Now normally, in a show like this, I'd be all GTFO WOMAN THIS IS A SHOW ABOUT THE MEN MMKAY? but I really, really like Renee, and I think they used her character wonderfully.




I ALSO LIKE HER BECAUSE SHE KNOWS THE WAY TO A MAN'S HEART IS THROUGH HIS STOMACH




AND WE GET ANOTHER FUCKING SMILE :D




So I've talked about this scene before,




But I do love how Johnny is all protective of Roe. It's adorable.




So he waits, and frowns, into the snow,




And is all ready to spring up into action when needed.




He's like a little terrier or something, IDK.




So then he's on the outside again, silently watching Babe (♥)




But all I can think of when I see this scene is that icon that someone has of him being a chocolate sniffer, hahahahaha




So I mentioned earlier that I love how he can get away with yelling at Dick and Harry,




And similarly, I also love that he fucking tells Miguel Alvarez Toye what to do and HE DOES IT. EVERYONE LISTENS TO ROE ♥












And I think I did enough squeeing about this in my Babespam but all that needs to be said is FOXHOLE OT3. And that Roe is pretty much the most awesome person ever. HE GIVES HIS CHOCOLATE AWAY.




Anyway, I love his little face when he says 'traiteur' heee




And also how at peace he seems here. I LIKE TO THINK THAT'S BECAUSE HE IS SNUGGLED NEXT TO BABE, Y/Y?




And if you didn't love him enough by this scene, HE TUCKS THE BLANKET BACK IN WHEN HE GETS UP AND I DIE. This whole scene was where, on first viewing, I comprehensively FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM. It went beyond 'HMM HE IS PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME' to 'THIS GUY KIND OF OWNS MY SOUL'.




Smiley Roe ♥




But because he cannot be left happy for a long, he goes back into town and is all awesome, springing into action and STICKING HIS HAND INTO THIS GUY'S CHEST UP TO HIS FUCKING ELBOW AND SQUELCHING AROUND




And I always lol a bit because he looks as though he's totally going to bust a vein in his forehead, hahahaha




And then he and Renee just, like, STARE at each other for about 10 minutes, and although I'm all about the slash in BoB, even I was just like 'OH COME ON YOU TWO'




But Roe's not like that. He's a gentleman. So they just go outside and sit and...talk.




And I love his hair in this scene. It's so black that it's almost blue.




And the little looks he gives Renee in this scene, IDK,




She must be made of ice or something,




BECAUSE THIS WOULD HAVE ME LEADING HIM BACK BEHIND THE RUBBLE FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.




Roe is befuddled by this as well :D




But I love the look he gets on his face when he's talking about her 'touch'. It's fucking beautiful.




AND HIS WEE SMILE :D




So yeah. He absolutely kills me in that scene. LE SIGH.




But then he has to go to the front and do all that depressing saving lives stuff, and he's starting to get rather verklempt at it all, and my heart IS STARTING TO BREAK AGAIN. Fucking Bastogne rips me to shreds, ngl.




And that cap of him and Smokey is one of my favourite caps ever. It just makes me love him tenfold.




So he goes back into town, and the weight of it all is starting to show on his face,




And then we're back at the front, and Babe brings him soup,




But at this point, seeing his face, I'm being honest here, I was like ;___________________; the first time I saw this.




And Winters is worried about him (♥) when he sees him all cocooned up and sad,




And his face, when he has to go and help Harry after he's blown up in that bloody dell, is all :O aw




AND I JUST THOUGHT I'D MENTION THE WAY WINTERS IS LOOKING AT HIM HERE.

Seriously, when you look for it, YOU SEE THE WINTERS/ROE. IT'S ABUNDANTLY CLEAR.




But just when you think things can't get any worse,




Renee's dead, and he's all alone.




EXCEPT THAT HE'S NOT. And again, I talked about this in my Babespam, but this scene, after how gutwrenching the entirety of Bastogne is, gave me so many warm and fuzzies the first time around, I can't even begin to explain how it made me feel. It's so freaking beautiful, even if your slash goggles are stashed in your back pocket. LET'S JUST RELIVE THE MAGIC.























♥


OH MY HEART.

This whole thing restores my faith in humanity. NO I AM NOT BEING MELODRAMATIC.




However, of course, after Bastogne, we have another whole episode of people being maimed and killed, so lots more depressing work for Roe, first with Hoob,




(someone mentioned once that Roe never stops working on people until someone basically has to TELL him that it's over. I love this about him. MASSIVE LE SIGH.)




And then with Joe and Bill. FUN TIMES ALL ROUND.




And we see him briefly in the church of incredibly flattering lighting, where he's taking care of Perconte's arse (aw)




So then that dude gets killed because of his bloody potatoes, and everyone is über-sad (especially Christenson, OMG ILU FASSY SEE YOU IN INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS!!)




But Roe, of course, soldiers on,




And he persists in killing me with his awesome.




And I have always loved this shot of Roe, Christenson and Jackson, looking away into the distance. IDK. I think it's how it's framed or something. I just find it really beautiful for some reason.




And of course, then Jackson goes and blow his face up, and Doc runs in WITH THOSE HANDS and is all awesome and soothing with his voice,




And I love how everyone automatically shuts up and is quiet and helpful whenever Doc's around, he just brings the calm with him ♥




THEN HE LOOOOOOOKS AT BABE AND I CAN'T EVEN TALK ABOUT THIS LOOK, BECAUSE YEAH. YOU SEE IT.




And then HE SINGS, which seems totally incongruous with regular Doc, but it is adorable,




EXTRA CAPS FOR SPESHUL TAB!!!




And then, at Landsberg, I LOVE how Nix automatically goes to him for comfort or assurance or advice or something. IDK I just love it.




And of course, Doc is all action immediately.




AND DOC IN DRESS UNIFORM ♥

WHY SO ADORABLE????




So then we get the Doc silhouette, which is one of the few good things to come out of the Grant horribleness,




And then we hear him speak for the last time, and the fact that his final words are 'HE WAS SHOT IN THE HEAD' would make me sad if it weren't for the fact that it's in the sexass accent...




But luckily we do get to see him in the sunshine, sliding into home (also Buck totally runs after him and thwacks him on the arse)




And then he gets a totally beautiful final shot, with the sun shining over his shoulder and everything, AND IT'S ONLY FITTING.

AND THEN I CRY MY EYES OUT LMAO.

So in conclusion.

I love Doc Roe.

I love everything about him and everything he does.

I love his hair/mouth/nose/accent/frown/hands/general face area/selflessness/bravery/awesomeness. EVERYTHING.

He is the reason why Bastogne is my favourite episode of TV pretty much ever and why I cried like a little bitch afterwards because I thought my heart had been ripped out, NGL.

DOC ROE 4EVA.

Part One (the epically fucked-up love of Webster and Liebgott)
Part Two (Speirs, the badassest badass to ever badass)
Part Three (Christenson and Grant, hot but criminally underused)
Part Four (George Luzzzzzz and the giant slash debacle)
Part Five (Mr CAPSLOCK Band of Brothers, Gonorrhoea)
Part Six (OMG THAT'S THE TRICKSTER FROM SPN AND THE GINGER ONE FROM ER!! And someone else)
Part Seven (ADMIT POPEYE IS ADORABLE OR MIGUEL ALVAREZ WILL CUT A BITCH MMKAY?)
Part Eight (Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabe)
Part Nine (people it is not possible to hate: Smokey, Shifty and Tab)
Part Ten (Harry the gappy-toothed wonder)
Part Eleven (JOHNNY MARTIN IS A SICILIAN GRANDMOTHER AND WILL FUCK YOUR SHIT UP)
Part Twelve (LOL BUCK'S REAL NAME IS LYNN and THE TRAGIC IRONY OF HOOB AND THE LUGER)
Part Thirteen (Sergeant Donnie and his sensible hair ♥)
Part Fourteen (Les Autres)

And, um, Winnix to come. IT'S ALMOST OVER D:


So, Valkyrie.

I was so psyched for this film, I was really looking forward to it, I was prepared to give Tom Cruise the benefit of the doubt and everything.

IT FUCKING SUCKED. I was so disappointed. I don't even know where to begin. I really felt they could have done a million times better. The first half of the film was disjointed, the narrative was so poor, the subtlety of so many moments non-existent. The second half did an admirable job of ratcheting up the tension even though we all knew how the film would end. But yeah. Way to fail some superb subject matter, Bryan Singer. Time to stop riding the coattails of The Usual Suspects, methinks. If I was German I'd be a little annoyed, to say the slightest. And as I said, I was actually really willing not to pre-judge Tom Cruise in this role (he does actually resemble von Stauffenberg, and did a good wonky eye hahaha) but he was laughable. THE ACCENT JUST DIDN'T WORK. Worst decision ever.

BUT THERE WERE POSITIVES:

1) THOMAS KRETSCHMANN

TBH, Thomas Kretschmann is always a positive.




Now, I would pay good money to see Thomas Kretschmann dance around in a plastic bag, I'm always that happy to see him in a film, but he did a good job with his character. AND HE WILL ALWAYS BE HOT IN A UNIFORM. AND he has a shirtless scene. JUST SAYIN.

Also, LMAO:




WATCH OUT, THOMAS. HE WILL EAT YOUR SOUL.

Anyway, apparently Kretschmann was the original choice to play von Stauffenberg until Singer got on board. NICE WORK, BRYAN.

2) SCRIPPS FROM THE HISTORY BOYS WAS GOOD. But -10 points for no Scripps accent hahahahaha.

3) I thought some of the rather illustrious English acting talent were good in their roles, in particular Tom Wilkinson, Tom Hollander (suitably creepy) and, most of all, Terence Stamp. I love Bill Nighy and Eddie Izzard but I didn't like them in their roles. And there wasn't enough Kenneth Branagh to really make a judgement. But without actors of their calibre the film would have even more spectacularly gone 'pffffffffft'.

4) Sets were excellent. I liked the recreation of the Wolf's Lair and the Berghof, and the Berlin sets were doubly excellent, in particular the SS HQ and the Reich Ministry. It all tied in well with the red/white/black themed advertising for the film, which I thought was really effective.

5) Christian Berkel was also very good, as one would expect. I think all the German actors did a good job.

6) THE BEST THING WAS UNEXPECTED MATTHIAS SCHWEIGHÖFER. I totally blanked that he was in this, so had a little happy moment in the theatre when he popped up as Fromm's (Tom Wilkinson) adjutant. And he played a reasonably big role towards the end of the film. A+

7) SEEING THE WATCHMEN TRAILER IN THE CINEMA FOR THE SECOND TIME. I don't care that I've watched it 479047 times online, seeing it on the big screen FUCKING ROCKS and I get so excited.

SO, IN CONCLUSION, THERE WERE GOOD POINTS (MOSTLY INVOLVING GERMAN ACTORS LMAO) BUT WAY TO FUCK UP A GOOD STORY, BRYAN SINGER.



One final thing...

I'm sure you're all aware of the dreadful bushfire situation in Australia: 200+ dead, many thousands homeless, possibly 1,000,000 animals killed.







Australians are a resilient people and have been fundraising like fiends since the whole thing began, but any help is greatly appreciated - if you guys can spare anything at all, please give to:

The Australian Red Cross

or

Wildlife Victoria

I have donated at both sites so can confirm that international donations work for both.

Sorry, I don't normally do charitable appeals, but Australia is always very willing to help others, and for once, we need the help (not to mention that whilst Victoria is STILL on fire, 70% of Queensland, my home state, is flooded D:)