Hey There,

I came across your Jessica Simpson DVD. Resisting the urge to draw a Hitler moustache and devil horns on her and breaking her dvd into several pieces suitable for a nice hanging wind chime that would reflect the sun’s rays has been very trying for me. I am sure you understand. Do you want it back?

James

THE EX'S RESPONSE:Hey ( Read more... )

She's dead. This sucks. All the people I like in Hollywood are either dead or close to it.

Your alarm is set to go off at 7:00 but wake up at 6:45 because nature calls. It’s pointless to try to grab those last few minutes of slumber, so you get up ( Read more... )

My mother, The Marlboro Woman, lifts up the bag of potting soil and empties the contents into the abandoned toilet. It is common amongst God-fearing folk to believe that all discarded toilets go to heaven but this one was given a second chance at a new life in my mother’s backyard to be used as a planter for spring flowers ( Read more... )

This shit NEVER happens in real life.


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I can't help it. Give me a friggin camera and I HAVE to take pictures. After protests from my group of friends, I STILL decided that the world should see peeing lesbians as they leave the pride festival in an obliterated grasp of love and wetness.


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My boyfriend and I give eachother "HIGH-FIVES" after sex, thus cultivating a TEAM feeling and appreciation.

There is no "I" in "TEAM"

This is a chance for anyone to post comments anonymously. It can be a confession, a question, a thought provoking revelation, or whatever you so choose but it MUST PERTAIN TO ME. I will not try to guess who you are unless asked to but don't get your friggin underoos in a wad if I get it wrong. For those of you who don't have an LJ account who read ( Read more... )

“Be careful of the middle washer” the elderly woman said, glasses perched at the end of her nose. “It shakes quite a bit.”

Well color me horny, Edna! All the better to rub my crotch against it and trip the light fantastic. It’s much better than having to use my hands or digging my manhood into my mattress with the weak friction of my sheets. It ( Read more... )

GusIsAMCSE: hi ( Read more... )