Well, dad's back to being an active prescence in my life again.

I'm going to go break my beer bottle and slice his neck open with it.

Woke up. Was not, for some reason, in pile of own vomit. I must be doing something wrong ( Read more... )

I'm so proud of me...fuck, are you the oldest or youngest, boy? We'll go with youngest because you were the prissiest. I'm so proud of my prissiest son, Celeborn ( Read more... )

Recieved invitation to appear on show. Was said it was to showcase the strong family ties my family has. Or something. Freaking touchy feely television. Bet this 'Bergil Half-Elven Show' even has people dressed up as multi-coloured potatoes, as well ( Read more... )

Hi, dad.

boys, say hi to your grandfather.

I'll just be over here in the corner rocking back and forth.

He said he wanted to come.

Ignore the weaponry, that's your mother's. The bit that smells entirely like scotch is my area of the home. You may live under the desk.

argh. light.

*tries to stand up*

::CRACK::

*passes out again*

Lesson today: If you're a hungover elf, don't stand up suddenly in a hobbit hole.

Apparently son number 1 is getting hitched.

To some blond thing with too much eyemakeup.

Obviously this is a very important moment in his life.

VERY IMPORTANT.

So I will attend.

the fact there will be free alcohol there is a completely different matter entirely

*removes mask*

What?

Vader wasn't exactly young...

Need a date.

.....

*wakes up*

What the FUCK?!

My master is missing. The Dark Lady of Bakshia and I are taking my personal ship to investigate his palace.

My son and... my son have both joined the Dark Side.

That is all.