Kamen /// Eighth Feeling: Hate
banner by naomi0211
Title: Kamen //Can you look right through me?//
Pairing: Akanishi Jin x Kazuya Kamenashi //Akame//
Genre: Romance. Angst, Fluff
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. I don't make profit with this.
Summary: Feelings are like masks we put on to convey our inner depth. But sometimes it turns out we use those masks to hide our real feelings...
How well can Jin read Kazuya's feelings; and in return, how much does Kazuya really understand Jin? After being together for so long, things start to change, and feelings start to disappear behind masks...
A/N: English isn't my mother tongue, but I've been living in the UK for quite a time, so I basically write and speak well. You're welcome to correct any mistakes, though. Of course.
This realy sounds worse than it is. I am really, very sorry for the title, it really is actually progressing in this. From this point on, things will get better. In a way.
A/N#2: Kamen (仮面) is Japanese for Mask.
A/N#3: My Laptop crashed this evening. It worked perfectly fine this morning, and doesn't work anymore now. I'll go back to my own flat tomorrow, so I most likely won't be able to write; I'm still looking for a solution. Fortunately, I had sent this chapter to Audrey yesterday night as I had finished it, so it didn't get lost. I didn't want to post it today, but since I most likely won't have a chance to post it after Sunday, since only until then I can use our PC at home, I decided to put it up now.
I am sorry if the next chapter comes with a delay; really.
I can't actually help it at the moment. m(_ _)m
Previous Chapters:
Prologue
First Feeling: Love
Second Feeling: Desire
Third Feeling: Deceit
Fourth Feeling: Abandonment
Fifth Feeling: Missing
Sixth Feeling: Despair
Seventh Feeling: Anguish
Eighth Feeling: Hate
It had been raining all day.
Kazuya sat in the backseat of a car, being brought over to a drama location. They’ve wanted to take scenes there today but with heavy rain like that they wouldn’t be able to at all.
His manager was calling up different people because of schedule changing and Kazuya supposed he’d go over to the actual set, so they could get some other scenes filmed first.
He felt tired, just as he had felt for all over the past month. It was not tiredness from the lack of sleep, but one from exhaustion of being down and lonely.
Still, he couldn’t get used to be without Jin; still, his thoughts would always drift to the older one. Kazuya couldn’t possibly forget about him and that made it worse, made him moody and not just angry with himself and Jin, but everyone else, too.
He had snapped at Nakamaru some days ago and Ueda had had to interfere to stop Kazuya from scolding Nakamaru for hesitating to pull a ball out of a box.
Usually, Kazuya didn’t lose his temper that easily, but recently, he was just always tired and got quickly annoyed.
Jin had completely ignored it; basically, Jin ignored everything about Kazuya. And it made Kazuya just even more annoyed.
Usually, Jin was so damn stubborn; but he couldn’t love Kazuya that much at all, if he didn’t even try again, tried to once again talk to Kazuya and make up.
Most likely, Kazuya thought now, and closed his eyes, he had been completely right about Jin’s feelings for him. The older one had only pretended to be in love, to treasure Kazuya as much as he had thought.
Kazuya had desperately hoped to be wrong about it and finding now, that that hope was gone, he felt it piercing his heart even more.
He and Jin were really completely done.
“Kamenashi-kun?”
He opened his eyes again and looked at his manager.
“We’ll shoot some indoor scenes instead. It’ll take longer than scheduled, so we cancel the TV program this afternoon for you. We’ll send Akanishi-kun.”
Kazuya nodded. “He’ll like that.”
“Well, it’s more promotion for his movie then, but we’ll make sure to schedule you some other day, since you need a lot of promotional work.”
Not really paying attention, Kazuya looked out of the window of the car, couldn’t see much, since the rain was blurring his view.
“Your ratings haven’t been good for your last dramas. We’ll have to do something about that”, his manager reminded him.
“I know.”
The man sighed, as he noticed Kazuya was completely uninterested in what he was telling him, so he gave up on it and made another call to organize Kazuya’s schedule.
Closing his eyes again, Kazuya tried to forget about everything, the fact that he was not happy at all, lovesick, dumped, and in addition to that needed to work hard for his reputation, since actually, he wasn’t as popular as Jin had always thought.
But still, Jin had not been right with thinking Kazuya wouldn’t accomplish anything on his own, would give up on his way.
He’d reached a lot, had managed a lot on his own, had come so far with his own strength.
Strength he could have only gathered, because he had known Jin would always be by his side, because he had known someone would love him, no matter what.
It was hard to bring up that strength now, that he was all alone.
But he’d show Jin that he didn’t need him at all, that he was capable of reaching even more.
His manager looked at him, tapped his shoulder. “Sorry, Kamenashi-kun, it’s Akanishi.”
Kazuya stared at him, blinked at the mobile phone the man held up for him. “He wants to talk to me?”
“He asked for it.”
Hesitating, Kazuya took it and brought it to his ear. “What is it?”
“If you think you’re doing me a favour with giving that job to me, you can save it to you.” Jin’s voice was cold.
“That was not my idea. It’s not my fault it’s raining and my schedule has to be changed.” Kazuya tried to keep his voice indifferent, but he felt it breaking; hoped, Jin wouldn’t notice.
“In that case”, Jin answered and then it remained silent between them, both of them obviously searching fir the right way to end the conversation.
Kazuya decided that there wasn’t much more to say and just handed the cell phone back to his manager. The man accepted it back with a confused look.
“You got it then, Akanishi-kun?”, he asked and scribbled something into his timer, then he hung up. Still writing things down, he quickly glanced at Kazuya. “Are you two okay?”
Kazuya didn’t look at him. “What should be wrong?”
The man shrugged his shoulders. “Usually, you tend to talk for the whole car ride with Akanishi-kun.”
Forcing a smile to his lips, Kazuya shrugged his shoulders. “We are just both busy.”
Their manger nodded and then changed the dates in his timer, not asking any more about that topic.
Kazuya was thankful for that, since he wouldn’t know how to explain that he’d never again spend a whole car ride between jobs with talking to Jin; that he would never again get excited when he’d know their manager was talking to Jin on the phone, pushing him to get done, so he could claim the mobile and hear Jin’s voice.
They weren’t in love anymore, Kazuya thought and realized that what their love had turned in to, was hate.
Jin hated him, and all Kazuya could do, was to hate him just as much in return.
The telephone conversation remained in Jin’s head for the rest of the day. It came back to his thoughts every single second he had time to himself.
It had been weak of him to ask for Kazuya. He had known their manger was with him that morning, now he was here. But only the thought that his manger called him while being with Kazuya, had made him long for what had been.
He had always asked for Kazuya back then; had answered all questions and agreed to all meetings and dates and then Jin had always asked to talk to Kazuya.
So he had today.
But just in the moment Kazuya had took the mobile to answer Jin, he had realized that he couldn’t turn back time and he wouldn’t hear Kazuya’s cheerful voice, wouldn’t hear his laughter and wouldn’t hear him say all those codes they had made up for times they weren’t alone.
So, he had been satisfied to just hear Kazuya’s voice.
It was not that late; Jin had finished the TV show they had scheduled him for this morning and now just had to talk about his next meetings and TV appearances.
He had just arrived in the Jimusho with their manager, and was waiting for him, as he saw some juniors getting out, all of them greeting him respectfully.
Jin smiled at them, not really paying attention, though, then he saw Uchi following them out and his heart skipped a beat.
Uchi noticed him, as well, and raised his hand in a greeting, before he bowed slightly. “Akanishi-kun. It’s been some time.”
The older one tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “Nearly a year, hasn’t it?”
Uchi nodded. “Right. We started rehearsals for the Countdown Show today.”
“Are you staying in Tokyo?”, Jin wanted to know.
The younger man shook his head. “No, I’ll go back to Osaka later tonight.” Then he shifted his weight to one foot. “How have you been doing?”
Jin nodded. “I’ll have a movie coming up, so it’s quite some stress, but it’s basically going well.”
“I’ve heard about it. Good luck.” The younger one said cheerful. Then he titled his head. “I haven’t seen Ryo in a while. Is he okay?”
Jin shrugged his shoulders. He wanted Uchi to leave; it was difficult to just look at him, made him feel uncomfortable. “I think he is; I haven’t seen him, either.”
Uchi smiled. “Ah, well, then I will just have to call him up. By the way”, he added and took out his mobile. “Do you have Kamenashi-kun’s phone number, by any chance?”
Jin was about to jump at Uchi and tell him to leave Kazuya alone, but he held himself back; he didn’t have any right to do that. “Why?”
“Well, I actually have it, he gave me his number when we last met in Osaka, but I think it’s probably wrong, since I’ve been trying to reach him for a while, but he never picks up.”
Jin looked down at his feet. Kazuya had even given him his number, probably because he had liked that kiss, wanted to repeat it at some occasion. Only imagine it, made Jin feel numb and cold. “I don’t have it.”
“Eh?” Uchi gave him a surprised look. “I always thought you were good friends.”
Shrugging his shoulders, Jin still avoided looking at Uchi. He couldn’t stop himself being protective and possessive of Kazuya. “We get along, but working in a band, we spend enough time together.”
Uchi slowly nodded. “I didn’t think so.” He put his mobile away again. “However, it’s not important.”
Jin raised his head and managed a smile.
“Okay, I need to get going then”, Uchi said and bowed slightly. “Until next time, Akanishi-kun.”
Nodding, Jin raised a hand and bowed his head. “Take care.”
“You, too.” With that Uchi disappeared through the door and Jin stared at it closing again, leaving him behind in silence.
In his head, he always repeated that scene of Kazuya kissing Uchi and it clenched his heart. Kazuya was free now to do so, if he wanted to.
Even just the imagination of Kazuya being with someone else than him, drove Jin crazy. He couldn’t possibly think of ever acknowledging that Kazuya belonged to anyone but him.
No one was worth Kazuya’s whole attention and love; no one deserved to kiss those lips, hold that slim figure. No one was allowed to wake up beside Kazuya in the mornings and get his self-made breakfast.
Jin still stared at the wall and wondered why he hadn’t realized that earlier. He had tried to hate Kazuya, but he couldn’t. He had tried to be cold, but he wouldn’t be able to keep it up for any longer.
He loved Kazuya, no matter what. Even if he’d never gotten to work as an idol again and Kazuya would rise to the most popular one, Jin wouldn’t ever be able to be without Kazuya.
He had forgotten about it on the way to this point, but his pride has never meant anything, had never been worth anything at all, as long as Kazuya wasn’t with him, wasn’t in Jin’s arms.
Hadn’t he realized that once; times ago? How could he have forgotten about it?
After all, Kazuya was more important than anything else.
It was not about Jin’s pride or Kazuya’s doubts, it was about them belonging to each other; and that was a fate the both of them couldn’t escape.
“Akanishi-kun, do you have a moment?” Their manager had opened the door of the office he’d been in and waved Jin over to come in. “We need to go through some details.”
Jin wanted to say he couldn’t, that he had to leave.
He wanted to find Kazuya right now, see him, talk to him, make him understand that Jin probably had been jealous, but that those feelings had always been apart from his love for the younger one. They had not been actually for him, but for the situation; after all, Jin had known Kazuya was special to him from the first moment.
He needed to tell Kazuya that he had lied to Yamashita, that he actually had looked at him, always and had felt that affection for him; explain that feeling of wanting to have Kazuya close and all to himself.
He wanted to tell Kazuya that he couldn’t ever be without him.
“I…” Jin swallowed thickly, looked at the door. Then he forced his feet to move toward the manager. “Of course.”
He’d get over to Kazuya right after he’d be done here. It couldn’t take that long after all, and he still needed some time to himself to sort his thoughts, to figure out, how exactly he should make Kazuya understand.
His heart flattered as he got into the room, thinking about that most likely he would hold Kazuya again tonight for the first time in over a month.
When Kazuya came back home, it was already quite late. Later than he had thought it would get.
But it was okay for him, since at the moment he didn’t have anything to look forward to coming home. He hated to cook for himself, so he rather left dinner out to catch up some sleep.
Kazuya still thought the earlier he got to bet, the earlier he would find some sleep. He needed hours to calm down as much to keep his eyes shut, to clear his head and fall into a slumber.
He’d spend this evening exactly like that again. Curling up and trying to sleep, thinking a lot, regretting, missing.
Kazuya was more than sick of it. He wanted to finally cheer up again, forget about it. But for now, it looked as if that was still far away.
He’d suffer for a little longer.
Pouting, he opened the door to his apartment and with a mumbled “Tadaima” he got in, kicking his shoes from his feet.
As he decided to at least make himself some tea, he noticed that he couldn’t stand the silence in his apartment and turned on the radio; cheerful pop music was filling the room, but he didn’t care, as long as it beat the silence.
The water was just heated up when suddenly his door bell rang and made him lift his head. He frowned, wondering who’d come by without talking to him first, so he turned the music’s volume down and went over to open the door.
Seeing Uchi in front of it, his mind went blank. “Uchi.”
The younger one nodded. “I’m sorry for disturbing that late.”
Kazuya didn’t know how to react. He should ask him inside; he shouldn’t make the mistake to let Uchi inside, close to him. “What is it?”, he asked finally.
Uchi managed a helpless smile, shyly rubbing the back of his head. “I was wondering how you were doing. You didn’t answer my calls and mails.”
Kazuya swallowed thickly. He owed Uchi an explanation. “Why don’t you come in?”
Bowing, Uchi came in, taking off his shoes and giving Kazuya an apologizing look. “Am I disturbing you?”
Kazuya shook his head and asked him to follow to the living room. “No, I’m alone.”
Uchi nodded as he took seat. “Then I suppose you have some time.”
“Sure. Do you want some tea?”
Uchi followed Kazuya with his look to the kitchen, then he fidgeted his hands in his lap, waiting.
Kazuya came back with two cups of tea and placed one in front of Uchi, taking seat across from him. “I’m sorry, Uchi.”
The other male shook his head. “No, I am, I guess I confused you.”
“Well, yeah”, Kazuya admitted. “But after all, I was the one taking the first step.”
“Because I let you notice I wanted it as well.”
“I…” Swallowing, Kazuya lowered his gaze. “Why are you here, Uchi?”
It remained silent for a little longer. “I am asking you to think it over.”
Kazuya lifted his gaze, looked at the other one.
“I think, there were feelings involved for both of us, Kazuya.”
It was strange, he thought now and stared at Uchi. Usually, only Jin called him that, called him by his given name. Everyone else was calling him Kame. Uchi had always, too. “I… I guess…”
Uchi leaned in. “It’s just as I’ve said, Kazuya. You can’t love that person as much if you can kiss someone else that easily.”
Shaking his head, the older one bit his lip. “It’s not like that, Uchi. I did a mistake. I doubted him, but that was wrong. What I did was cheating, no matter how you look at it.”
Uchi nodded. “That’s true; but you only cheat on someone if you’re not completely satisfied with him.”
“That moment, I wasn’t. But I looked at it superficially. What I had made up in my mind wasn’t the reality.”
“But what you felt then wasn’t imagination either.”
Kazuya shook his head again. “I can’t even grab those feelings anymore I had then for you. I don’t know where they came from; but they made me do what I did, and I apologize for it.”
“Kazuya…”
“Stop that”, he said and looked at Uchi directly again. “Don’t call me that; I didn’t allow you to.”
“No one is calling you that, right?” Uchi leaned back again, giving him a sad look.
“Someone is, and I want him to be the only one.”
In that moment, Uchi realized it and he gave Kazuya a sad look. “So, he already found out about us? Did you tell him and he dumped you for being honest?”
“I didn’t tell him. I kept it a secret.” Kazuya’s voice was bitter.
“So, he found out another way?” Uchi frowned, then sighed. “And was even madder at you?”
Kazuya stood up, got over to the window to look out of and so he wouldn’t have to face Uchi. “We broke up, it’s all not important anymore.”
Uchi remained silent, then he took his cup, sipped. “Do you still love him?”
Closing his eyes for a second, Kazuya brought back Jin’s image to his inner eye. He could see him, taste him, smell him, feel him. He’d always be able to; everything else would be a lie. “You can’t stop loving a person you shared your life with for so long from one day to the other.”
“Why did you kiss me?”
“I’ve wanted it”, Kazuya answered without thinking about it. Then he took a moment to find the right words. “We had a fight, I felt unloved, and I had doubts for quite some while. Now I know those doubts had been right, but that doesn’t matter now.”
“So, you wanted comfort?”, Uchi asked, leaving his voice low.
“Probably more affection.”
“And I was just good enough?”
Kazuya didn’t turn. He knew every word he said could be understood completely wrong. “I had the impression you were eager to give me some; so I took it without thinking about the consequences.”
“Didn’t you like it?”
That question made Kazuya turn his head, looking at Uchi. “In that moment, I did.”
“You know”, Uchi said slowly, and then got up as well. “You don’t seem happy now.”
“How could I possibly be?”
“I know, a break up is hard to take, but eventually, you will see that it’s best that way.”
Kazuya turned his head again, nodded. “I know. I mean”, he corrected. “I don’t, since I only ever loved one person in my life. But I suppose that’s how things will go.”
From behind, he felt someone winding his arms around him, pulling him close and Kazuya instantly tensed. “Kazuya, why don’t you let me help you getting over it?”
For a moment, Kazuya didn’t know what to do. He wanted comfort; it felt good to be held and soothed like that. On the other hand he couldn’t possibly let it happen.
It felt wrong, as long as it wasn’t Jin; but it wouldn’t ever be Jin again, holding him like this, comforting and soothing him, embracing him tight and whisper those words.
The decision for what to do was taken from Kazuya, however, as a loud knock at his door made both of them jump and pull away.
Kazuya managed a nervous laugh, pretending nothing had happened. “I’m quite popular tonight, I guess. Excuse me for a second.”
He retreated from the living room and took a second to himself first to catch his breath and calm down. But the knocks got louder and harder now and Kazuya frowned, hurrying to the door.
As soon as he had locked up, the door was crushed open and Jin stumbled in. Kazuya took a step back and gripped his arms to hold him from falling over.
“Jin”, he said in surprise, noticing he was soaked completely. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
Jin just shook his head, took a deep breath. “I ran all the way.”
“Why?” Kazuya’s hands were still scanning Jin’s arms and chest to make sure he didn’t have any bruises. “What’s wrong?”
“I needed to see you.”
That one sentence made Kazuya freeze and he just stared at Jin, saw small droplets dripping from his hair, running down his cheeks and jaw. He took a deep breath. “You came to see me?”
Jin nodded, and brushed the hair out of his sight with one move. Then he got past Kazuya without asking for permission. “I would have been here earlier, but I had that damn meeting, so I just came now.”
As Kazuya saw Jin heading towards the living room, his heart skipped a beat and he finally remembered the situation. He couldn’t possibly let Jin find out Uchi was here.
Not now, that Jin was here, that Jin had said he had needed to see Kazuya. “Ah, Jin, wait”, he mumbled and followed him, gripped his arm.
Jin turned to him, gave him a look.
“Don’t you…?” Desperately searching for a solution, Kazuya gripped it tighter. “Why don’t you take a shower first? You’re soaked; you’ll get sick.”
Jin stared at Kazuya for a moment; then he suddenly wrapped his arms around the younger one and pulled him close. “You’ve been always worrying for me, haven’t you?” His voice was soft, his embrace gentle.
Kazuya felt his heart getting desperate again. This was exactly what he wanted, what he had longed for so long. But he could lose it any second again. “Jin…”
“We need to talk”, Jin said, his lips near Kazuya’s ear. Even though he was cold and soaked from the rain, the embrace felt warm and Kazuya didn’t ever want to let go again.
“I know”, he said and held even tighter on to Jin as well. “But really, you should at least change into dry clothes first.”
Jin shook his head and then pulled back. “You’re more important now”, he said and framed the younger one’s face. “Kazuya.”
His heart skipped a beat and Kazuya couldn’t react at all, as Jin turned again and pulled Kazuya with him, opening the door to the living room.
Uchi turned his head from the window and looked at them.
For a moment, Kazuya knew the situation was just as bad as if Jin had caught them that time in Osaka kissing.
He’d get it wrong, Kazuya knew it.
Jin was still holding Kazuya’s hand. Rain drops were running down his cheeks and jaw, still, dipping off of his chin. Through their hand contact, Kazuya could feel him start shaking and he just held Jin’s hand tighter, as if to calm him.
He should have known it was useless.
“Akanishi-kun?” Uchi turned completely now. “You’re soaked”, he noticed then.
Jin just stared at him, then he slowly turned around, his hand still in Kazuya’s. “I should have taken a shower to leave you some time to get rid of him?”
“It’s not like that”, Kazuya said and shook his head.
“You really didn’t waste any time.”
Kazuya stepped closer, forgetting Uchi was listening and staring at them unbelieving. “Jin, you got it wrong. We were just talking.”
“Out of all people”, Jin answered and glared at Kazuya “you asked Uchi to talk? Don’t fuck with me, Kazuya.”
“I don’t”, Kazuya’s look was desperate. “Jin…”
“Fuck off, really.” Jin pulled his hand away and dashed out of the room. “I was stupid to think I’d still want you.”
“Jin, you do. Listen to me.” Kazuya followed him, pulled him back at the door. “Don’t make the same mistake I did. Let me explain.”
“What? That you felt so lonely and unwanted again, Kazuya? That you just needed someone to comfort you?” Jin glared at him, opened the door. “I had enough of that.”
Kazuya held on to Jin’s wrist tightly and tried to hold him back from leaving. If Jin would leave now, he’d never come back. “You know I will just follow you around until you talk to me, so stay and we’ll make it short.”
Pulling his arm free, Jin threw Kazuya a cold look. “I’ll make it short for you, Kazuya”, he said and pushed him back into his apartment. “I won’t ever let you fool me again.”
As Kazuya managed to stumble out again, Jin had made it to the lift already and was stepping inside. Kazuya started to run after him without spending a second thought on it, but as he reached the lift, its doors had just closed and the brunette just ran against them, stumbling backwards again.
“Jin…” His voice broke and he closed his eyes, banging his fists against the doors. He gathered himself for a few moments, then he turned and stared at his door with an empty gaze.
Uchi was looking at him with round eyes; shocked, confused.
Swallowing thickly, Kazuya got over and didn’t even dare looking at him. “Keep it to yourself”, he just said and his voice sounded as broken as he looked.
“Kame…”
“I’m sorry you had to see that. I didn’t know…” Kazuya shook his head. “I didn’t know Jin would show up here tonight.”
“Don’t… I mean…” Uchi was obviously searching for words.
“I can’t accept your offer, sorry”, Kazuya murmured at looked at him then. “Jin is… it’s just that he…”
“… is the one you love”, Uchi finished the sentence and nodded choppily. “I guess I made it even worse with showing up here tonight.”
“I’m sorry”, Kazuya only managed to whisper.
Uchi got into his boots, then shook his head. “I am sorry, Kame.” He stepped out and turned once more. “For you. You deserve someone better than him.”
Kazuya looked at Uchi for a moment, then he said: “Probably we both, Jin and me, deserve each other, and no one else.” With that, he closed the door.
Numb, he walked back into the living room, stared at the wet dots at the floor and ruffled his hair then.
Why couldn’t Jin once brace himself and not lose his temper right away? Kazuya hated it.
He didn’t know what had made Jin come here tonight, but Kazuya had known from the moment he had gripped Jin’s arms that as soon as he would find out Uchi had been there he’d walk out on Kazuya again, no matter the reasons.
Jin had always been like that and it was just frustrating.
But still, Kazuya thought and palmed his face, thinking about what to do; he only wanted Jin and no one else.
Things were just always taking the wrong path between them and this way, it didn’t look as if their situation had changed at all.
Jin had made a step towards Kazuya; had wanted to try again; give him another chance and even though, Kazuya had been up for it, too they were still apart again and mad at each other for not listening or even just taking notice of the other one’s intentions. Just as before.
There was only one difference to it.
Jin just hated him even more now.
“Jin, you forgot your mobile”, Koki said and caught up on him in the corridor.
Jin looked at it, before he took it and managed a smile. “Oh, I didn’t notice.”
“Seriously”, Koki sighed “where do you have your head lately?”
Shrugging his shoulders, Jin grinned. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You and Kame are both completely off.” The younger one raised an eyebrow. “Did you guys fight?”
“I didn’t notice Kame was off or anything”, Jin lied. “I am not, either.”
Nodding, Koki opened the door.
They had had rehearsals for dancing today and it had taken quite some time, so it was already late and no one else was around anymore.
It was just the band and some of the staff who would lock up after them.
Koki and Jin were the last ones of the band to leave, and since it was already December the cold hit them hard, as they walked out together.
“I just thought so”, Koki said then and rubbed his hands together. “But if you say you’re okay... Then you’re probably just getting old.”
Jin smacked Koki’s head for that and then turned, raising a hand. “See you tomorrow morning, Koki.”
“Good night”, the other male said and left to his car.
Jin put his things to the passenger seat first, then he sat down in his car, noticing the car park place was completely empty, except for one other car at the other side. He couldn’t figure it out in the dark, so he didn’t pay any more attention and started to look for his throat candies.
Koki had been right; he and Kazuya were both completely off in work. They didn’t get anything done.
The incident yesterday night had made both of them realize that nothing was to save between them anymore; and Jin couldn’t believe Kazuya had actually been together with Uchi.
It felt like being betrayed just once more.
He probably would really start to hate Kazuya; just for making Jin losing his mind like he did just recently.
But in his inner depth, he still knew that he loved Kazuya and would always love him.
He even still carried that love charm with him wherever he went. It was stupid, he knew it, but he couldn’t let go of it. Even now, he had it with him.
He wanted to pull it out of his pocket and frowned, as it wasn’t there. He checked the other one and then the back ones, but couldn’t find it.
Confused, Jin checked his bag, but couldn’t find it at all. He could clearly remember that he had still had it when he had put on the jeans after training.
He had carefully hidden it, because he hadn’t wanted Kazuya to notice.
With a sigh, Jin got out of his car again and sprinted back to the hall. He wouldn’t go home without it; he couldn’t possibly sleep, knowing he had lost that charm.
As he got in it was all dark and he first went back to their room with the lockers and the small couch and table. He tried to turn on the light, but it didn’t work anymore, so he supposed someone had already shut down the electricity.
Cursing, he got to his knees and scanned the floor with his hands, frowning, because he couldn’t see anything.
After a while, his eyes got used to the dark and Jin made his way over to his locker, opening it and touching its ground. He sighed in relief when his fingers found the charm and gripped it.
Closing the locker again, he went back to the door and down the corridor then. It was dark, so he realized after a while he had taken the wrong way and frowned as he couldn’t find the front door.
It was somehow frightening to be all alone in an empty, dark building, so he automatically moved slowly and quiet.
As he turned around a corner, he thought he knew where exactly in the hall he was, but he screamed in the next moment, as he bumped into someone, stumbling backwards.
The other person fell with a curse and as Jin heard that voice, he calmed down.
“Crap, Kazuya, you scared me to death.”
“Don’t sneak around like that; I didn’t even hear you coming.”
Jin glared into Kazuya’s general direction, since he couldn’t actually see him. “What the hell are you doing here, anyway?”
Kazuya got back to his feet. “I could ask the same.”
“You’re stalking me again, aren’t you?” Jin walked past him. “It’s so perverse.”
Not answering that, Kazuya followed him. “None of the lights is working”
“Oh, is that why we have to walk in darkness? I thought we did it out of fun.”
“I guess you and I really don’t have fun times anymore.”
Jin held back a sharp answer. It didn’t make it any better. They were mad at each other and they wouldn’t change their views too soon.
Jin realized they had found the right way and ran over to the front door, gripping the door handle.
Kazuya stopped behind him, frowned as Jin didn’t move. Then the older one started to joggle the door and cursed.
He gave up and turned to Kazuya.
“I think we’re locked up in here.”
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O_o ... Locked up? All alone? ..... Oha.
Thanks so much for reading; I'm doing my best to update as soon as I'll get a chance to!! I hope you'll stay with me, though! m(_ _)m