Ben really hurt me today. He wants me to give him space, but, he still wants to see me when I visit Texas..."for dinner or something"...but, why, I wonder? So, he can break my heart face to face, like a real man? No, thanks...if it's closure he's looking for, I'm not giving it to him. He doesn't deserve that. But, my heart keeps thinking maybe ( Read more... )

I can't believe how naive I am. I actually thought if I sent Ben a text message that he would actually respond and be grateful that I was thinking of him. I've done so well, I haven't sent a single email or text at all since we last talked. And, I was practically hyperventilating because I wanted so badly to send a text. I went into a lame chat ( Read more... )

I have a bit of a headache, and, am trying to put it to rest with a cup of green tea. I think it's working. At least, I'm attempting to convince myself that it is. Today was a really lazy day for me. I hardly went outdoors at all, except to walk Finn. And, even our walks were sufficient only. No pleasure walks today. No siree. I wanted to ( Read more... )

Yeah, so, I am just going to have to let go of Ben. I don't know how I even feel about him anymore. It's like I've just gotten so used to having to fight for people, it's almost like that's what I thrive on. But, I can't fight anymore for him. I don't let it affect my daily life, thank goodness, like I did with Brandon. It helps that I'm not ( Read more... )

Yeah, Jen is a girl. She's an awesome girl. I met her when I got the job at the car dealership. She and I started on the same day, and, have become fast friends. She's tremendous, as is her husband and son. Liam and Thor are cool. I'm hoping that this is the start of a long friendship. If things go well with what they are trying to ( Read more... )

Given a topic, you are to write down your answers in your blog, and then send the same topic to 5 other people. Write down the names of these 5 people and link to them on your blog. The 5 people who are tagged should, in their own blogs, write down the name and the link of the person who tagged them, answer the same topic, and send it to another 5 ( Read more... )

I'm melancholy tonight. I just don't know what to do. Russ is a friend I've known since I was two. His mother and my mother are best friends, he has three brothers. He's always been crazy about me. His mom has always said we'd marry, my mom's always said over her dead body. We kissed one summer when we were in our early teens, but, never went ( Read more... )

Brian gave me some strawberries tonight, he's such a doll. I just hope I don't break his heart at any point. But, all I can do is just go with my heart. And, right now, it belongs to Ben. It's a fact I've accepted. Even if he doesn't want it. Even if he's taken his back from me. I will say that he's not acting like Brandon now. That's such ( Read more... )

Well, well, well. The first sign of this actually being slightly different from Brandon's games. I have actually met someone who has verbalized that they don't know what to say. It's enough to allow me to sleep well tonight. I am just so disappointed in myself for letting another young person so deep into my heart. I don't know if I regret ( Read more... )

Today was another good day! I had breakfast with Brian, and, then Mom and I went out to Wanda's for the Arbonne party. It's basically like a Mary Kay party, only I like the products that I saw better (so far) than anything else I've seen...I ordered some stuff, and, there's a 45-day money-back guarantee, so, if I don't like it, I'm not out of the ( Read more... )