Friends! Countrymen! Indentured slaves!

Contrary to popular belief, I AM the king around here. Yes, I may be more concerned with cutting up potential in-laws and serving them up as dinner instead of actual ruling but I assure this is just a momentary lapse and NOT because I've caught on that you all seem to do the job on your own once Erkenbrand ( Read more... )

*hums cheerfully and collects recipes from the kitchen staff on the proper cooking of a ferret*

( In which Helm and Frey talk, ferrets and stew are discussed, Frey cruelly tosses down Helm's plans to deal with Theo, and Helm reveals Hild doesn't actually breathe fire, he just made that up. )

Ow.

Remembering why I don't like Gondor.

Not sure if people flinging weasels at my head is part of it or not, but I'm willing to pretend.

Smacked it against the wall a few times until it stopped moving and biting.

Where's my daughter?

I'm off to Gondor ( Read more... )

So now we're marching on Gondor.

w00t

um.

Naughty naughty Erkenbrand.

Hiiiiild he's still all yours.

bloody hellHE started it. Said that a Rohirrim would use trickery to take the throne. Just because his people would do it doesn't mean we're as... argh ( Read more... )

We've got Mordor. Yay. My. How odd, I haven't told Erkenbrand to stop yet.

Goodness.

Ps: Research into ferret recipes is going well.

( Helm gives fatherly, yet emotionless and stoic advice to Frey. Beer is chugged. Hild is discussed. Helm torments Frey and suggests giving the kingdom to Hani. Obviously more beer was drunk. Finally it ends in blood. Oh, and that damn ferret got mentioned again. )

"The first rule about operation: get rid of those darkhaired bastards and increase Rohan's borders is you don't TALK about operation: get rid of those darkhaired bastards and increase Rohan's borders ( Read more... )