Hi!

I can't resist the urge to join the next LJ Idol!

Looking forward to shaking the cobwebs off my writing brain.

Life is changing and never changing ( Read more... )

I've been thinking a lot about this. What do I feel like I'm always trying to get or achieve and never quie make it?

Obvious choices are my constant battle with my weight and fitness. Finishing my damn Master's. Opening myself up to a relationship.

But then I kept ruminating over the days. I looked at the things I keep trying and getting nowhere ( Read more... )

I joined a church last year.

I'm 37 and it's the first time I ever regularly attended church. I didn't do it for me, I did it for my nephew.  He craved going to church. He asked about it all the time.

His preschool had been in a neighborhood church and when he moved on to regular school he just missed it so much.

I put some caveats on the the ( Read more... )

We'd known each other for years.  Decades really.

It'd gone from co-workers to friends.  From nights out after work to talking about kids and schools and getting old.

I didn't think anything of it when I asked him to work on a project for work and he asked if I wanted to go with him on it.

I didn't really need to, but it sounded fun to get out ( Read more... )

I am very tired.

Almost all of the time.  I wake up tired. I go to bed tired. I survive being tired.

It's the norm for me.  I have an auto-immune disease that sucks my energy on a good day. Add in daily stress, my shitty diet and the laziness that keeps me out of the gym and you've got an extra tired Kate.

I am very annoyed.

Mainly with myself ( Read more... )

I have a to do list. Both in my head and on paper.

I think of the lists while I sit in bed and watch Bravo. Or while I obsessively put together a jigsaw puzzle all weekend.

Some of the items would be easy. Put in a load of laundry. Take out recycling. Some are more difficult. Put your IRB data together for thesis approval. Set the alarm to go to ( Read more... )

I stood in the dark, smoky room.  The crowd piled in.  The reason we all came to the venue started soon.  Everyone wanted a closer spot.

It's the third time for me to see her in concert. It's the most cathartic.

I fell in love with her voice when I was fresh out of college. Her band's songs spoke to me.  One more than others. Lyrics reminded me ( Read more... )

I go to therapy twice a month.  I sit on a couch and I ramble about all the insane things that bounce threw my head.

My therapist thinks I'm handling things well.  My family had a meltdown and while I still had the immediate adrenaline flush, nausea and jittery feelings, I also turned on my guided meditation and laid down and found my peace again ( Read more... )

I just can't quit LJ Idol.

Everytime they do a season I'm back.  It's challenging and a nice way to push myself to get deeper with my writing and life really.  Skip being surface. Expose the vulnerability.

My therapist would have a field day I'm sure.