suicide mission
----------
[date]: 09/16/08
i should have taken my own advice. but i didn't, for i didn't realize it until this morning.
i told a classmate that i could not help her until she is able to completely open herself up to me. the words did not hit me until i said it out loud. it was the same thing i am currently experiencing with...a certain someone.
so here i am. i'm doing this. i'm posting this and leaving this open for her to read. i figured that if i die, i might as well die trying since i'm already here.
taking a risk is like jumping off a cliff. i want to jump off that cliff right now, never mind if my heart is encased in fear. i'd rather do that than anything else. i want to do it because i want this person in my life. I want this person to help me. and i figured that she cannot if i cannot be completely open and honest to her.
i like this person. i admire her a lot. i think she could help me a great deal, more than i expect, more than i could possibly ever imagine. this person...i want her to be my mentor. i already asked her to be but i have yet to actually take her offer up on it, particularly because i am afraid to reveal myself and because i am afraid of what she might think of me if i do.
so here i am. here's my horrifying secret: yes, i am a fangirl. it might surprise some people and lead them to commit a fallacy of generalization. truth is, "fangirl" is a derogatory term. i guess that term applies to me but not in the traditional sense. i am not stupid, shallow nor vain. yes, i am prone to squealing, flailing and gushing but that's just in the privacy of my own blog. or with my friends. i do not reveal that in public often because it is not necessary nor important. it might shock some people to know that i am actually the picture of proper decorum in public. i am as polite as i can try to be. most of the time i am.
so i guess the cat's out of the bag. there you go.
i am posting all the chapters of BMG here and all its sequels for her (and everyone else's) benefit. just to make it easier to find and read. its not the best, mind you, but i like it. (it's certainly better than those out there. it should - it set the damn standards for the rest of the fics that followed.)
without further ado, douzo~
A. Boy Meets Girl, Girl Meets Boy: A Love Story
Prologue|| Chapters 1-3|| Chapter 4|| Chapter 5|| Chapter 6|| Chapter 7|| Chapter 8|| Chapter 8 1/2|| Chapter 9|| Chapter 10|| Chapter 11|| Chapter 12|| Chapter 13|| Chapter 14|| Chapter 15|| Chapter 16|| Chapter 17|| Chapter 18|| Chapter 19|| Chapter 20|| Chapter 21|| Chapter 22|| Chapter 23|| Chapter 24||Chapter 25 ( Version 1) ( Version 2)|| Chapter 26|| Chapter 27|| Chapter 28|| Chapter 29|| Chapter 30||
I. Boy Meets Girl, Girl Meets Boy: Four Seasons (set of drabbles)
a. Natsu
b. Aki
c. Fuyu
d. Haru
B. Oops, Wrong Send! (BMG side-sequel)
Prologue|| Chapter 1
C. BMG Sequel
Prologue
*sighs*
oh, well. it could be worse. i could be lying in a ditch, left for dead. better this way, i guess....
maybe i am a masochist...
----------
[date]: 09/16/08
i should have taken my own advice. but i didn't, for i didn't realize it until this morning.
i told a classmate that i could not help her until she is able to completely open herself up to me. the words did not hit me until i said it out loud. it was the same thing i am currently experiencing with...a certain someone.
so here i am. i'm doing this. i'm posting this and leaving this open for her to read. i figured that if i die, i might as well die trying since i'm already here.
taking a risk is like jumping off a cliff. i want to jump off that cliff right now, never mind if my heart is encased in fear. i'd rather do that than anything else. i want to do it because i want this person in my life. I want this person to help me. and i figured that she cannot if i cannot be completely open and honest to her.
i like this person. i admire her a lot. i think she could help me a great deal, more than i expect, more than i could possibly ever imagine. this person...i want her to be my mentor. i already asked her to be but i have yet to actually take her offer up on it, particularly because i am afraid to reveal myself and because i am afraid of what she might think of me if i do.
so here i am. here's my horrifying secret: yes, i am a fangirl. it might surprise some people and lead them to commit a fallacy of generalization. truth is, "fangirl" is a derogatory term. i guess that term applies to me but not in the traditional sense. i am not stupid, shallow nor vain. yes, i am prone to squealing, flailing and gushing but that's just in the privacy of my own blog. or with my friends. i do not reveal that in public often because it is not necessary nor important. it might shock some people to know that i am actually the picture of proper decorum in public. i am as polite as i can try to be. most of the time i am.
so i guess the cat's out of the bag. there you go.
i am posting all the chapters of BMG here and all its sequels for her (and everyone else's) benefit. just to make it easier to find and read. its not the best, mind you, but i like it. (it's certainly better than those out there. it should - it set the damn standards for the rest of the fics that followed.)
without further ado, douzo~
A. Boy Meets Girl, Girl Meets Boy: A Love Story
Prologue|| Chapters 1-3|| Chapter 4|| Chapter 5|| Chapter 6|| Chapter 7|| Chapter 8|| Chapter 8 1/2|| Chapter 9|| Chapter 10|| Chapter 11|| Chapter 12|| Chapter 13|| Chapter 14|| Chapter 15|| Chapter 16|| Chapter 17|| Chapter 18|| Chapter 19|| Chapter 20|| Chapter 21|| Chapter 22|| Chapter 23|| Chapter 24||Chapter 25 ( Version 1) ( Version 2)|| Chapter 26|| Chapter 27|| Chapter 28|| Chapter 29|| Chapter 30||
I. Boy Meets Girl, Girl Meets Boy: Four Seasons (set of drabbles)
a. Natsu
b. Aki
c. Fuyu
d. Haru
B. Oops, Wrong Send! (BMG side-sequel)
Prologue|| Chapter 1
C. BMG Sequel
Prologue
*sighs*
oh, well. it could be worse. i could be lying in a ditch, left for dead. better this way, i guess....
maybe i am a masochist...
----------