I watched the waxing/waning crescent moon set over the city tonight from my porch as I scrawled this on the back of a list of mundane errands for the day ( Read more... )

I'm checking my email today and thwarting claims of larger penises and horny housewives when I see one of those banner ads running the side of the page for a dating service ( Read more... )

( Cause what else is there to do at 3 am? )

I taste coleslaw. Coleslaw and beer.

( Which can mean only one thing )

I'm typing this through one eye. Apparently I gave myself a shiner on my little battle with the sink and it's continually swelled for the past two days. Even with a black eye and a giant knot on my head I'm like Jay-Z - big pimpin ( Read more... )

I have a concussion ( Read more... )

One of the best (and probably only) perk of having the physical features of a seven year old when you're 22 is this:

( FIE DOLLA MAKE YOU HOLLA! )

Remind me to never pick up the unemployed anymore. There's only so many hours you can pretend to be sleeping before they'll go home already.

So apparently I kick ass at pool. This is news to me since I'm famous for my shank the ball off the table move at Uncle Jimmy's on a regular basis ( Read more... )

I found the camera card from Harrisburg, but still no sighting of the beach pix. So here's some nice wholesome family fun, brought to you courtesy of my nephew's birthday.

( Awww, how quaint )