i don't know what to think anymore. he really knocked me around last night. i was so drunk.. so drunk.. he promised he'd always take care of me but this time he didn't. he let me wander off, didn't do anything when i jumped off the terrace and sprained my ankle. he just watched. then when it was time to go home he just yanked me up and told me that ( Read more... )

why am i doing this to myself? he was out of town for the last six days and as always i was at home, moping around, chainsmoking, just picking away at myself, really ( Read more... )

i am finally on holiday! i've got 10 days (ramadhan holiday) and i really just feel like i need this time away from everything. i got my report card today and i'm so disappointed. my grades are way lower than i expected ( Read more... )

i feel so degraded by him. he puts me down for tiny little things that never would have mattered before. i called him to ask about the essay we have to write in history because i didn't understand in class today. all i wanted was a simple answer and what i get is "god, alex! you miss a few days of school and you're already acting like a complete ( Read more... )

i feel like i'm doing everything wrong. i feel like everybody's mad at me or they hate me because of the way i act. i always tell myself: don't let your emotions take control. just don't feel. because feeling fucks you up. i'm serious, it does ( Read more... )

i don't want to be treated like this anymore. he yells at me over the phone for losing my voice because of my cold. he says the sound of it irritates him, that it makes me ugly. but i don't yell back. i don't argue, i don't complain. i just cry. and cry. and he gets madder. he yells more; telling me to shut up, to stop being a sissy. and i just can ( Read more... )

i'm falling apart. my days are spent laying in bed, fever surging through me, crying. i'm so frustrated with everything that has happened. i want to let him go but i can't. instead i keep calling and texting him, he just ignores me. i tell him that i love him, that i need him, how much i miss him. no reply ( Read more... )

Love ridden, Ive looked at you ( Read more... )

we're going back and forth and i can't take it. he sows me up one day, fixes me up.. then rips me apart again the next. i can't do this anymore. but i can't live without him either.

i've been really sick and i'm just so worn out. i had dental surgery a couple of weeks ago - it was a disaster; long story, but it was just really really painful - and now i'm in bed with a fever and a really bad cold; everything just hurts. i haven't weighed myself in for ever, i don't even want to know anymore. i look in the mirror and i can see ( Read more... )