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Straight outta rehab...
I got arrested. Handcuffs, and all. I honestly felt like a criminal, and I looked around to see if there were camera's and this was going to be aired on 'cops'. Stupid, foolish girl.
He could use the money, and you could use the fix. I saw him before I even wanted too, and I knew he didn't have a place to sleep tonight. I also knew that I had ( Read more... ) -
Mouthful of Lies (Possibly Triggering)
Mashed Potatoes with sour cream and cheese.
Peanut M&M's.
Oreo brownie.
White fudge covered pretzels.
Brownie with walnut.
12 minutes and 16 seconds.
That's all it took to shove all of this into my grubby little mouth.
Approximately 6 bottles of water later.
There I was.
Pulling my glasses off, and shoving them down my throat.
Everything is gone. I ( Read more... ) -
I though I heard you in my dreams last night..then I realized I was awake..
I don't sleep anymore. I just gave up. Threw the towel in, if you will. I wish I could tell you why Im not sleeping...but I really don't know. God knows Im high as hell and should definately be able to sleep. It's nothing Im really worrying about right now. It just..is ( Read more... ) -
All I hear is twisting metal..
Wow. 16 weeks since I have posted. I really thought I would return to many comments..come to find none. It seems that everyone disappeared around the same time I did. I was in a car accident. I was hit by a drunk driver. It put a lot of things in perspective for me. How many times have I gotton behind the wheel right after I threw a handful of ( Read more... ) -
Im telling myself this is relapse.
Again, Im not starting this out with any writing. I don't think I deserve to even write beautiful things, let alone share them with all of you beautiful girls. I appreciate how much you all believed in me, but I let you down. Big time. I stayed clean for a whole...eh, 37 hours? Not impressive. I don't even feel the drive to try again. Part of me ( Read more... ) -
A good friend told me this is detox.
Im not starting my entry out with writing today. Im not feeling all that inspired. I was hurting people. I didnt see it. I didnt know it. I just thought...that they didnt know. They knew all along, they were watching me slowly kill myself. Popping pills like fucking skittles as everyone around me cringes in fear? Is that really who I have become? ( Read more... ) -
The days of the week are starting to blur together...
-But you're bleeding on my guardian angel.
It's one sadistic step for mankind.
One giant leap for this brown-eyed apparation.
He earned my love in a stainless-steel promise.
Made somewhere between my elbow and my wrist.
-Don't make me go any deeper.
What have we done?
How much security is afforded by stained carpets, and an unlocked door?
I can't love ( Read more... ) -
Falling behind and falling out of love.
Crushed berries and the sea were her only pastes.
She wanted it to be as natural as possible.
Watercolors dripped across the canvas, taking the shape of the sunrise over the mountains.
She did it all from memory.
Just as she had in every other creation.
" You need to learn the difference between memories and reality."
She closed her eyes against the ( Read more... ) -
His face and his memories are cluttering my mind.
He looked at her, and she looked at him. And for a split second it was like they shared a silent secret.
Honestly, it wasn't so silent, and maybe not even a secret, but she liked to think so.
Even if she didn't she pretended oh-so-well.
There was a nip in the air, and their breath turned to fog as it left their ever so soft lips.
Here, the secret was ( Read more... ) -
My mind is nothing by a mess these days.
It's musty and doesn't feel like home anymore, even though Im told its supposed to.
"Nothing's changing-you're still always welcome here."
If only I felt welcome.
My key doesn't even fir in the lock right anymore.
I think the whole house has shifted-moved a little to the left, maybe.
Or maybe my heart just shifted-a whole ten minutes away from this hell ( Read more... )