The Mrmpfle Legacy: Chapter 1.9
warnings: bad language, toddler explosions, general awesomeness of awesomeosity, ham spam
previous: 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.3 | 1.4 | 1.5 | 1.6 | 1.7 | 1.8
We'll start off this update with none other than the well adored Squishy Mrmpfle! He got invited over to a friend's house after school and he decided to go.
Squishy: I just didn't feel safe outside today. This was closer than home. DAMN MY PARENTS LIVING IN THE COUNTRY! *fist shake*
Thank god they had a stereo! Squishy has an obsession with stereos. If there is a stereo in a room, he's going to turn it on.
Squishy: I just like to get my dance on.
Anna: Your favourite music is french! It sounds like dying cats! HOW DO YOU DANCE TO THAT?! :O
ooohhh. Burn to the french!
Skip Broke: Oh hey son-
Squishy: I'm not your son..
Skip Broke: Yea, that's nice. Anyway, son. Listen, you seem like a nice gent. I was just wondering, could you spare an old man a few dollars? Like, I don't know, 20? 30? I would settle for a good even $50.
Squishy: You're fucking kidding me right?! If there weren't killer flowers on the loose out there right this instant I would fucking STORM OUT OF HERE! I am absolutely outraged! NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!
Freckles also got invited over to a friend's house.
Freckles: Of course I did. Who wouldn't want to hang out with me? Maybe I can hook me a boyfriend.
Freckles: One day, I'm going to be famous. I'll spend my life on stage, in the spotlight. Just where I belong. My brother may be the dramatic one but I'm the one everyone will love.
Markus: I heard your brother was the crazy one! He's all "whooah! Watch out for the trees!!"
Freckles: We should watch out for the trees. :| My mother told me about the day of the triffids. It's going to happen.
I sent Peanut to the scrap yard cause I though it would be fun.
Peanut: Why does this trash heap sparkle like Edward Cullen?
Anna: I dunno but I feel like it's a fitting homage.
Scavenging is srs bzns.
Back at the homestead...
Gage: OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!
Anna: Gage! I left you tinkering! What the hell happened?!
Gage: Well...apparently! I am flammable. I did not know this.
Anna: Jeeze Gage, I mean! Honestly! What is this?
Gage: Uhm, if you could maybe, I don't know, do something?! That would be great thanks!
Squishy arrived home a few minutes later. And just in time to put out his father. But for some reason, despite the raging inferno in the kitchen, the fire department didn't show up.
Squishy: Uhm, yea, sorry, I don't mean to be a bother BUT MY FUCKING KITCHEN IS ON FIRE SO DO YOUR JOB AND HELP US!
Peanut: As per usual, I got this.
Porkchop: Hey guys what did I miss? Oh..oh my.
Yea, there is something wrong with this picture. Why is it that Squish and Peanut are the ones fighting the fire and the firefighter is just standing there, hand on hip?
Firefighter: Well excuse me! But these are new boots mmkay? I don't want to ruin them!
Thankfully Freckles was still at Markus' house. Marcus? I don't know. Does it really matter?
Freckles: Anna. Why are legacy writers always taking pictures of sim!kids doing homework, and going on about how hard it is? I'm not struggling with my homework. How could I ever struggle?
Anna: Why do you always have to be asking questions?! God! Go home!
To punish Freckles I gave her a hobby. Baking.
Freckles: Just to spite you, I'm going to make the most awesome muffin of awesomeness ever to grace this world with it's awesome.
Well, she did make a decent muffin. Damn her.
Since Gage caught on fire I've had him tinkering on things that are less flammable.
Things more water based...I just can't lose my little Gagey-poo.
The next day Porkchop was invited over to someone's house after school. Omg! Someone likes Porkchop!
Porkchop: You are such a bitch.
Well, Porkchop got duped. No one was home. Except for the plant...
Porkchop: Is it just me or is that geranium staring me down?
Anna: I don't know but I think we should go...
Freckles: Mmmm, smell the awesome, feel the awesome, buy the awesome!!
Neighbour: That muffin. It's oddly compelling. It looks so amazing.
Freckles: Awesome actually...
Neighbour: Yes! Awesome! It's like, it's like it's calling to me. Those plump little blueberries are just singing my name. Begging me to buy this muffin. To love the muffin! *stares intently* Must. Get. Muffin.
Neighbour: I NEED THAT MUFFIN NOW!
Freckles: That'll be twenty simoleons.
Neighbour: What?! That's outrageous.
Old Lady: I'll give you twenty-five!
Neighbour: OMG NO! ONE HUNDRED SIMOLEONS!
Freckles: Sold! To the fat portly woman!
Old Ladies: Bitch! I wanted that muffin! >:(
Neighbour: *strokes muffin* Yesss. The precious! It is ours now! *giggles manically*
Yup. LOTR references for the win!
Freckles: Heeheehee!! Mission: Sell a Medium Quality Muffin for a Ridiculous Price, completed. Next mission: Spread my Awesome to the Rest of Riverview and Then the World!! MWUAHAHAHA!
Porkchop bores me sometimes. So to combate this, I got him a hobby too. Since he's the family odd ball of sorts (by being the most normal) I decided to make him the family inventor. It's pretty badass.
Anna: Way to follow safety protocol Porkchop..
Porkchop: I don't care about safety! I walk on the wild side! I laugh in the face of danger! I throw caution to the window and say NO THANK YOU! to safety goggles! I defy you fate!!!
Anna: Okay then. Sounds like a great idea. *thumbs up*
That old woman who wanted to buy Freckles' muffin (wow. That just sounds way too filthy. *blink*) decided to stay around and put on an impromptu acoustic guitar show. Guess what. She was fucking amazing.
Good enough in fact to put Gage in the mood.
Squishy: In theory, I understand that Mum and Dad have been...romantically intimate...but in a practical manner, I find it creepy and unsettling.
Freckles: You find it creepy? I'm the one who's facing them!
Freckles: I wonder if I could sell tickets to this show...we'd make a killing.
Squihsy: You're a special breed Freckles, a special breed.
Freckles: This, coming from the guy who warns everyone he meets about the day of the triffids?
Squishy: IT COULD HAPPEN AND YOU KNOW IT! D:
Wisely, Gage and Peanut moved the amorous behaviours to their bedroom. And I don't even feel the need to cap this photo. Gage is smug, Peanut's tired, it's hilarious.
Markus: I really like your house. It's purty.
Markus: *mouthbreathes*
Anna: ....ew.
Guests can only mean one thing in the Mrmpfle household. And that's motherfucking BIRTHDAYS!
Freckles: Finally, everyone is standing around to worship me! Just as it should be!
Freckles: I just don't know what to wish for. I'm torn between being even more beautiful than I already am, and having everyone in Riverview love me like I deserve. Dammit! Decision making is so hard!
Freckles: Be cute, be cute, be cute, beeee cuuuuttteee!!
Freckles: Oh yea, I am so rocking this transition. Bam!
Peanut: BAHAHA! OOOHHH THE SWEET, SWEET JUSTICE!
Freckles: AAHHHH!!!
Peanut: *laughs maniacally*
Freckles: There we go, I feel much better now. Less like hurting people, more like being loveable. :D
So. As a child, Freckles grew into the angler trait. And then as a teen she grew into another, stupid trait. A trait that didn't suit her at all. So at this point I said. NO MORE! And cheated to give her new traits. Because dammit it all to hell. I cannot have a game where Porkchop is eccentric and Freckles is a fisherman. I'm sorry. Clearly my game has not met either of these sims. It's just. It's a fucking travesty is what it is. Clearly. So anyway. Freckles is now a Clumsy, Friendly, Flirty, Hopeless Romantic. And I think you'll all agree that suits her very well. It would only be more fitting if there was a "I'm Queen Shit and You All Should Worship Me as the Goddess I Am" trait.
Freckles: Oooo! What's going on out here!
Porkchop: Anna says I can't have cake unless I pretend to interested...
Markus: *still mouth breathing*
Freckles: Oh goody! A boyfriend! *squeal*
Peanut doesn't seem to like Markus much. Can't say I blame her. I hate mouth breathers too. >:(
Freckles: Hmm. I'm unimpressed. PEACE OUT BITCHES! *leaves*
Porkchop: I suddenly feel a lot better about my life.
Peanut: Why are you still here? My daughter, your best friend, just left. Shouldn't you be going too?
Markus: I'm...flexible. *wink* You Mrmpfle women are all very attractive ladies.
Peanut: I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that, and remind you that I am an officer of the law. A gun carrying officer of the law. But you know, I can help you win my daughter over.
Markus: I'm listening.
Freckles: So, I was thinking, I want something that really accentuates my ass. I have such a lovely ass. Then again, my boobs are also pretty fantastic. But then there's my winning smile and my astonishing lilac eyes. Let's just play up all those features, they're all quite stunning to be honest.
Really, Very, Poorly Dressed Girl: I was thinking we could cut your hair.
Freckles: Bitch, cut my hair and I'll cut you. *glares*
RVPDG: What about some red clogs? Darling, you'd look fabulous in some red clogs. *eye twitch*
Freckles: I'm starting to question your abilities as a fashion designer. I won't lie.
Freckles: So, do I kill her now, or after you've fixed me?
Anna: *sigh* It's really too bad. But she deserves it. Stupid salon not letting you get a tattoo like we originally planned. We should burn this place down too! *eye twitch*
Freckles: Maybe we should just stick to making me look pretty.
Freckles: See? Don't you feel better now?
Anna: No. *pout*
Freckles: Wait, something feels weird...
Freckles: Omg! Why do I have fangs?!
Anna: Heeheehee!! I feel better now though :D I made you a "vampire". Cause I can. And because vamp!Freckles is cute. ^^
Peanut: Oh honey, that corduroy has just got to go. Freckles is a shallow, superficial girl. You, my friend, need to look handsome.
Well, that's where we're gonna end now. Kindly shuffle on over to my heir poll so we...I...can get started on generation 3! KABLAMO! :D As per usual, thanks to SWG for their awesomeness of awesomosity and in a new fashion, thanks to all my readers. You guys are the best and make me feel full of rainbows and sunshine and sour keys. ^^
notes: I don't know if anyone has noticed that my LJ cut text is usually somehow related to my teaser pic (the relation is usually less obvious than I'd like to think but whatevs). But extra points to whoever can guess how it's related this time! :D
Also! Heir Poll this way!!