One of my best friends since year 7 in engaged, and has asked me to be her maid of honour!! I'm so excited and happy for her; she wants to wear a black wedding dresS (we both loved that idea from "The Secretary") and it's going to be small and intimate. Well, not as intimate as the movie sort of thing ( Read more... )

okay - that last entry was actually from last night ( Read more... )

What is wrong with me? Why can’t I … I mean, I just can’t do anything that requires thinking about myself. I’ve started hitting myself; I have this purple bruise on my upper left arm … and this hurts. This is punishment. For thinking about myself, for being so vain and self centred and … I know, other people think that we need to nurture ourselves ( Read more... )

I'm sitting in a cafe and hopign nobody is reading this over my shoulder. I am going home on Friday, so that gives me a sense of ... safety? I don't know. I like having my own space; it's the only place I feel safe and at ease. I've been peeing like crazy the last 12 hours ... I felt really sick last night - maybe because I was taking an appetite ( Read more... )

I went shopping, the other day, what with the sales and so on, and bought a nice long lacy, emerald green top (almost a dress if I had half decent legs), a pair of brown pinstripe sort of pants, and a cream sort of wool top. Maybe when I get home I'll put the piccies up here. I hate shopping; always have (mainly because of the mirrors) but I sort ( Read more... )

spider, spider, come to me ( Read more... )

My fingers are cold and it means nothing. Tears are in my eyes and I'm not crying. I want to fall down, collapse, and never move again, at the same time needing to run and run and run until my lungs burn and my legs collapse beneath me, and still I know that I will never leave it all behind ( Read more... )

I suddenly, inexplicably, feel alone. Not just alone, but … in your mind’s eye, picture a huge, black, cracked desert. Nothing around, for miles, and miles. Dark grey sky. And in the middle, a speck, a tiny little blip, is me ( Read more... )

i've been moody tonight. stupid period. stupid lots of things. http://fckedupnomad.blogspot.com >>> why is that so different to here? i don't follow it. a lot of times these days, i start typing a sentence, and forget completely what it is I'm typing. all the time. i don't like it. i ( Read more... )

WHY the FUCK do I FEEL this way??? I don’t even know what I’m feeling. Wrong ( Read more... )