family portrait [8/10]
title: family portrait
author: hika_nishi
pairing: masuda/tegoshi
rating: pg-13
disclaimer: I own the computer I typed this on. That's it.
summary: Something hits him, the fact he already knew that he’d never be wearing this while he waits at the end of an aisle for that person who means most to him in the world.
Previous: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07
He could have, and probably should have, gone home at anytime, told his parents it just wasn't going to work and they'd have to accept that. But the good son inside him could do that do his mother, couldn't let he see that the boy she spent her life protecting had turned out like this.
The day after he walked out on Sayaka, he went back to their apartment to pick up his things while she was at work, carrying them around with him in a bag like he was a runaway. since then, Tegoshi has spent his days aimlessly wandering around town or waiting in a hotel room he'd rented out the previous night with some stranger. At night, he's back to club and bar hopping, drinking until the pain is a memory, waiting for someone to offer him company. This city has plenty of perverts walking around who jump at the chance to get into the pants of someone that looks like him, and Tegoshi has gotten to the point where he has no reason to refuse. It's become impersonal, an act with no emotional attachment. Meaningless.
Today, like every other for the last four months, he wakes up in another strange hotel, alone in a large bed. Last night he'd been with one of his regulars (the word still makes him sick when he uses it), that man who'd picked him up at the bus stop the night he let himself give up on everything. There's a note on the table beside him, a simple, Thanks again, kid, with some money under it. He's a whore, and a cheap one at that.
He kicks the blankets off, shuffles his feet as he makes his way to the bathroom for a much needed shower, trying to wash off the stench of the dirty slut he knows he's become. This morning, he manages to catch his reflection in the bathroom mirror, something he usually avoids for just this reason. He doesn't look like Yuya anymore. He's thin from practically starving himself, skin discolored, eyes tired and red, hair disheveled and in desperate need of a cut. Tegoshi doesn't know this person, someone alive, but rotting from the inside out.
Like everyday, he checks his phone messages, rubbing a towel on his head while he listens to familiar voices ask where he is, begging him to call. The fact that he checks them at all is that microscopic bit of hope he has left, that piece of him reached out for help. There's still know calls from Masuda, he notices. Shame, it would be the one call he might actually respond to.
++++
His phone starts vibrating in his pocket countless times tonight, people he doesn't want to talk to because he knows what they're going to say. Tegoshi ignores all of them, turns it off completely before he even enters a bar, ready to welcome a new group of creeps who'd prey on a pretty boy who doesn't have the energy to respect himself.
Tegoshi buys tonight's drinks with his pay from this morning, practically passed out on the counter, open and vulnerable, when someone sits down beside him. He feeds Tegoshi a pick-up line, a bad one, he'd point out if he cared. He can feel a breath on his face, a hand grazing over his ass and squeezing his thigh. It used to bother him when people did that, it doesn't anymore.
There's an angry voice behind him, saying something his brain can't seem to put together in a way that sounds too familiar. The man sitting next to him moves quickly, his vacated seat filled again almost immediately. "Yuya?" Tegoshi doesn't look up, some part of himself too afraid to. "Yuya, look at me." A hand touches his cheek, he's almost shocked by the gentleness of it, lifting his face so Tegoshi can see him.
"T- Taka?" he says, unsure if it actually come out correctly. He thinks he can see tears in Masuda's eyes. Those kind, lovely eyes.
"Oh my god," he brushes hair out of Tegoshi's face, combs through long strands with his fingers. "What have you done to yourself?"
"I'm living my life." He grabs a new bottle sitting in front of him, but Masuda takes it from his hand before it reaches his lips.
"This looks more like dying." Tegoshi shrugs his shoulders, Masuda sighs heavily, puts an arm around Tegoshi's waist, struggling to get him to come along.
"No, Taka," he whines, dragging his feet. "I don't want to go home."
"Yuya." It's all he manages to get out, groaning as he helps Tegoshi to his car while he continues to complain. He's practically shoved into the back of Masuda's van, buckled in before the door is closed behind him. The whole thing is very familiar, only this time there's a baby seat beside him.
"You're not allowed to take me somewhere against my will!" he yells, kicking the back of Masuda's seat.
"Cut it out," Masuda says slowly, forcefully. Tegoshi pulls his knees to his chest, stays like that when Masuda starts the car. Somewhere between the bar and wherever they're going, he passed out completely.
++++
"I don't want him around Yu-chan."
"Yukari, he needs help. He's my brother, I can't-"
"Look at him. He looks like one of those people who-"
"Don't. Don’t talk about him like he's some social reject."
Tegoshi lays on a strange bed with his back to the door, listening to Masuda and his wife have an argument about him. Honestly, Tegoshi doesn’t want to be here anymore than Yukari wants him to. He'd rather continue down his path of self destruction until he's dead.
Light spills into the room shortly, too bright for his eyes. The shadow cast on the wall is obviously Masuda's. He sits on the end of the bed, touches Tegoshi's leg for a second before he pulls his hand back, like it's something he shouldn't be doing. Tegoshi hears Masuda sob, and it breaks his heart.
"I'm sorry, Taka," he whispers, just loud enough to be heard.
"Yu- Yuya." Masuda dries his eye quickly, takes a breath and coughs to hide the tears. "You're awake." He shifts over on the mattress, close enough that he can see Tegoshi's face when he rolls on his back. "You really deserved to be yelled at. Look at you, you're pathetic."
"Thanks."
"Oh, stop the sarcasm, Yuya. This isn't a joke," Masuda's voice is solid, serious. "Yamashita saw you the other day, walking out of a bar with some guy who was groping your ass."
"So?"
Masuda smacks his head hard. "That's disgusting. I mean, you're better than that. You deserve better than that." Tegoshi looks at the ceiling, pretending to ignore him. He's really just trying to hide the tears. "Have you been to a doctor?"
"Why do I need a doctor?"
"If you've been sleeping around-"
"I'm not that stupid. I don't have unprotected sex with strangers."
"Just with people you know."
He sits up, face showing anger masking the fact that he feels insulted. "That's not fair, Taka."
Masuda sighs, looks Tegoshi in the eye. "I know. Sorry." He takes one of Tegoshi's hands in his own, squeezing it gently. "You're going to stay here, okay? At least until you pull yourself together."
For whatever reason his body has, he falls apart after that, letting tears fall onto the blanket and sobs escape his throat freely. It's always like that with Masuda, and he always knows how to respond, moving closer and taking Tegoshi in his arms, letting him cry into his shoulder. "I need help, Taka."
"I know," he pats Tegoshi's head. "I'm right here for you." Masuda kisses his cheek softly. "I still love you, Yuya. Please don't forget that." Tegoshi lifts his head, kisses Masuda's lips before his brain has a chance to tell him not to. Masuda doesn't take long to respond, making it deeper, forcing Tegoshi's head back into the pillow, flicking his tongue against Tegoshi's lips when he pulls away. "I'll make sure you're happy again, Yuya. Whatever that takes."
Somehow, even after everything, Tegoshi believes him.
++++
Masuda works from home for a week to deal with a family emergency, code for Yukari doesn't want to be alone with Tegoshi. He spends most of his time in the room designated as his, the guest room also known as Masuda's office. According to Masuda, this was meant to be Tegoshi's room, whatever that means.
They spend a lot of time together over the week, making jokes while Masuda works at his computer and reminiscing about the old days. Tegoshi honestly smiles, laughs for the first time in what seems like an eternity. Masuda makes his meals for him, usually has Tegoshi help him out in the kitchen because he knows he always wanted to learn how to cook. His weight starts to go back to normal, looking more like Yuya again.
"Have you ever done this before?" Tegoshi asks nervously, sitting on a chair in the middle of the kitchen while Masuda goes at his hair with a pair of scissors. Yukari took their son out with her on a play date, Masuda thought it was a perfect opportunity to get Tegoshi's hair back under control. He laughs at Tegoshi's nervous demeanor, tells him it's fine. When he checks his hair in the mirror, he actually likes the person he sees looking back at him.
"Like it, Yuya?" Masuda asks, leaning against the bathroom wall behind Tegoshi. He turns to Masuda with a wide smile. It's all the answer he needs to give. "I'm proud of you. You know you haven't had a drink in a week."
"I'm not an alcoholic," he says, pouting. "I may be a slut, but I'm not an alcoholic."
"You are not a slut."
"You don't know-"
"You haven't done that in a week either," he points out. The statement leaves an awkward silence hanging in the air.
"Massu,"
"Don't say it." Tegoshi bites his lip, walks out of the bathroom with his head down, feigning embarrassment. "Yuya," Masuda says with a touch of laughter.
He pops his head back in the doorway. "I want to take a nap. Can you hold me while I do? Or would that be too inappropriate?" He disappears back into the hall after that, Masuda's soft footsteps behind him.
++++
Masuda goes back to work on Monday, the first day is left without him in the house. He shuffles down the hall in the morning after Masuda has left, sees Yukari in the living room, talking in that way adults do when they speak to babies. He hasn't met Masuda's son yet, maybe it's about time he does. "Um," he taps Yukari on the shoulder, she jumps with a yelp.
"Good morning, Yuya-kun," she says with a forced smile. He looks down at the couch, at the baby laying on the cushion. He looks just like Masuda. Tegoshi can remember old baby pictures sitting on a table in the living room in their parents' house. Looking at him was like looking at those photos. "You cut your hair," there's a slight nervousness in Yukari's voice.
Tegoshi looks back up, nods, touching brown strands gently. "Takahisa did it." The baby makes a sound from the couch, gets Tegoshi's attention again. "His name is Yu-chan?"
"Yuya." Tegoshi sits in a chair next to the couch, notices that Yukari seems uneasy about his proximity. "You're Takahisa's oldest friend. Even when you were, wherever you were, he was adamant about naming him Yuya."
"After me?" He stares at the baby, who cracks a smile at him, tiny hand reaching in his direction. "Can I?" he asks, pointing to him. Yukari hands him to Tegoshi with seeming reluctance, makes sure he's holding the baby safely. Yu-chan makes a soft cooing sounds as he looks up at Tegoshi. Masuda left him for this. But somehow, just looking at him makes Tegoshi smile.
---------------------
It took me a while to get inspired to write this chap, but now I have the rest of the series all planned out :) The next part of Cherish is all written, too, but it's much longer, so it will take a while to type up XD
I'm very cold right now and I'm ready for winter to be over.
author: hika_nishi
pairing: masuda/tegoshi
rating: pg-13
disclaimer: I own the computer I typed this on. That's it.
summary: Something hits him, the fact he already knew that he’d never be wearing this while he waits at the end of an aisle for that person who means most to him in the world.
Previous: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07
He could have, and probably should have, gone home at anytime, told his parents it just wasn't going to work and they'd have to accept that. But the good son inside him could do that do his mother, couldn't let he see that the boy she spent her life protecting had turned out like this.
The day after he walked out on Sayaka, he went back to their apartment to pick up his things while she was at work, carrying them around with him in a bag like he was a runaway. since then, Tegoshi has spent his days aimlessly wandering around town or waiting in a hotel room he'd rented out the previous night with some stranger. At night, he's back to club and bar hopping, drinking until the pain is a memory, waiting for someone to offer him company. This city has plenty of perverts walking around who jump at the chance to get into the pants of someone that looks like him, and Tegoshi has gotten to the point where he has no reason to refuse. It's become impersonal, an act with no emotional attachment. Meaningless.
Today, like every other for the last four months, he wakes up in another strange hotel, alone in a large bed. Last night he'd been with one of his regulars (the word still makes him sick when he uses it), that man who'd picked him up at the bus stop the night he let himself give up on everything. There's a note on the table beside him, a simple, Thanks again, kid, with some money under it. He's a whore, and a cheap one at that.
He kicks the blankets off, shuffles his feet as he makes his way to the bathroom for a much needed shower, trying to wash off the stench of the dirty slut he knows he's become. This morning, he manages to catch his reflection in the bathroom mirror, something he usually avoids for just this reason. He doesn't look like Yuya anymore. He's thin from practically starving himself, skin discolored, eyes tired and red, hair disheveled and in desperate need of a cut. Tegoshi doesn't know this person, someone alive, but rotting from the inside out.
Like everyday, he checks his phone messages, rubbing a towel on his head while he listens to familiar voices ask where he is, begging him to call. The fact that he checks them at all is that microscopic bit of hope he has left, that piece of him reached out for help. There's still know calls from Masuda, he notices. Shame, it would be the one call he might actually respond to.
++++
His phone starts vibrating in his pocket countless times tonight, people he doesn't want to talk to because he knows what they're going to say. Tegoshi ignores all of them, turns it off completely before he even enters a bar, ready to welcome a new group of creeps who'd prey on a pretty boy who doesn't have the energy to respect himself.
Tegoshi buys tonight's drinks with his pay from this morning, practically passed out on the counter, open and vulnerable, when someone sits down beside him. He feeds Tegoshi a pick-up line, a bad one, he'd point out if he cared. He can feel a breath on his face, a hand grazing over his ass and squeezing his thigh. It used to bother him when people did that, it doesn't anymore.
There's an angry voice behind him, saying something his brain can't seem to put together in a way that sounds too familiar. The man sitting next to him moves quickly, his vacated seat filled again almost immediately. "Yuya?" Tegoshi doesn't look up, some part of himself too afraid to. "Yuya, look at me." A hand touches his cheek, he's almost shocked by the gentleness of it, lifting his face so Tegoshi can see him.
"T- Taka?" he says, unsure if it actually come out correctly. He thinks he can see tears in Masuda's eyes. Those kind, lovely eyes.
"Oh my god," he brushes hair out of Tegoshi's face, combs through long strands with his fingers. "What have you done to yourself?"
"I'm living my life." He grabs a new bottle sitting in front of him, but Masuda takes it from his hand before it reaches his lips.
"This looks more like dying." Tegoshi shrugs his shoulders, Masuda sighs heavily, puts an arm around Tegoshi's waist, struggling to get him to come along.
"No, Taka," he whines, dragging his feet. "I don't want to go home."
"Yuya." It's all he manages to get out, groaning as he helps Tegoshi to his car while he continues to complain. He's practically shoved into the back of Masuda's van, buckled in before the door is closed behind him. The whole thing is very familiar, only this time there's a baby seat beside him.
"You're not allowed to take me somewhere against my will!" he yells, kicking the back of Masuda's seat.
"Cut it out," Masuda says slowly, forcefully. Tegoshi pulls his knees to his chest, stays like that when Masuda starts the car. Somewhere between the bar and wherever they're going, he passed out completely.
++++
"I don't want him around Yu-chan."
"Yukari, he needs help. He's my brother, I can't-"
"Look at him. He looks like one of those people who-"
"Don't. Don’t talk about him like he's some social reject."
Tegoshi lays on a strange bed with his back to the door, listening to Masuda and his wife have an argument about him. Honestly, Tegoshi doesn’t want to be here anymore than Yukari wants him to. He'd rather continue down his path of self destruction until he's dead.
Light spills into the room shortly, too bright for his eyes. The shadow cast on the wall is obviously Masuda's. He sits on the end of the bed, touches Tegoshi's leg for a second before he pulls his hand back, like it's something he shouldn't be doing. Tegoshi hears Masuda sob, and it breaks his heart.
"I'm sorry, Taka," he whispers, just loud enough to be heard.
"Yu- Yuya." Masuda dries his eye quickly, takes a breath and coughs to hide the tears. "You're awake." He shifts over on the mattress, close enough that he can see Tegoshi's face when he rolls on his back. "You really deserved to be yelled at. Look at you, you're pathetic."
"Thanks."
"Oh, stop the sarcasm, Yuya. This isn't a joke," Masuda's voice is solid, serious. "Yamashita saw you the other day, walking out of a bar with some guy who was groping your ass."
"So?"
Masuda smacks his head hard. "That's disgusting. I mean, you're better than that. You deserve better than that." Tegoshi looks at the ceiling, pretending to ignore him. He's really just trying to hide the tears. "Have you been to a doctor?"
"Why do I need a doctor?"
"If you've been sleeping around-"
"I'm not that stupid. I don't have unprotected sex with strangers."
"Just with people you know."
He sits up, face showing anger masking the fact that he feels insulted. "That's not fair, Taka."
Masuda sighs, looks Tegoshi in the eye. "I know. Sorry." He takes one of Tegoshi's hands in his own, squeezing it gently. "You're going to stay here, okay? At least until you pull yourself together."
For whatever reason his body has, he falls apart after that, letting tears fall onto the blanket and sobs escape his throat freely. It's always like that with Masuda, and he always knows how to respond, moving closer and taking Tegoshi in his arms, letting him cry into his shoulder. "I need help, Taka."
"I know," he pats Tegoshi's head. "I'm right here for you." Masuda kisses his cheek softly. "I still love you, Yuya. Please don't forget that." Tegoshi lifts his head, kisses Masuda's lips before his brain has a chance to tell him not to. Masuda doesn't take long to respond, making it deeper, forcing Tegoshi's head back into the pillow, flicking his tongue against Tegoshi's lips when he pulls away. "I'll make sure you're happy again, Yuya. Whatever that takes."
Somehow, even after everything, Tegoshi believes him.
++++
Masuda works from home for a week to deal with a family emergency, code for Yukari doesn't want to be alone with Tegoshi. He spends most of his time in the room designated as his, the guest room also known as Masuda's office. According to Masuda, this was meant to be Tegoshi's room, whatever that means.
They spend a lot of time together over the week, making jokes while Masuda works at his computer and reminiscing about the old days. Tegoshi honestly smiles, laughs for the first time in what seems like an eternity. Masuda makes his meals for him, usually has Tegoshi help him out in the kitchen because he knows he always wanted to learn how to cook. His weight starts to go back to normal, looking more like Yuya again.
"Have you ever done this before?" Tegoshi asks nervously, sitting on a chair in the middle of the kitchen while Masuda goes at his hair with a pair of scissors. Yukari took their son out with her on a play date, Masuda thought it was a perfect opportunity to get Tegoshi's hair back under control. He laughs at Tegoshi's nervous demeanor, tells him it's fine. When he checks his hair in the mirror, he actually likes the person he sees looking back at him.
"Like it, Yuya?" Masuda asks, leaning against the bathroom wall behind Tegoshi. He turns to Masuda with a wide smile. It's all the answer he needs to give. "I'm proud of you. You know you haven't had a drink in a week."
"I'm not an alcoholic," he says, pouting. "I may be a slut, but I'm not an alcoholic."
"You are not a slut."
"You don't know-"
"You haven't done that in a week either," he points out. The statement leaves an awkward silence hanging in the air.
"Massu,"
"Don't say it." Tegoshi bites his lip, walks out of the bathroom with his head down, feigning embarrassment. "Yuya," Masuda says with a touch of laughter.
He pops his head back in the doorway. "I want to take a nap. Can you hold me while I do? Or would that be too inappropriate?" He disappears back into the hall after that, Masuda's soft footsteps behind him.
++++
Masuda goes back to work on Monday, the first day is left without him in the house. He shuffles down the hall in the morning after Masuda has left, sees Yukari in the living room, talking in that way adults do when they speak to babies. He hasn't met Masuda's son yet, maybe it's about time he does. "Um," he taps Yukari on the shoulder, she jumps with a yelp.
"Good morning, Yuya-kun," she says with a forced smile. He looks down at the couch, at the baby laying on the cushion. He looks just like Masuda. Tegoshi can remember old baby pictures sitting on a table in the living room in their parents' house. Looking at him was like looking at those photos. "You cut your hair," there's a slight nervousness in Yukari's voice.
Tegoshi looks back up, nods, touching brown strands gently. "Takahisa did it." The baby makes a sound from the couch, gets Tegoshi's attention again. "His name is Yu-chan?"
"Yuya." Tegoshi sits in a chair next to the couch, notices that Yukari seems uneasy about his proximity. "You're Takahisa's oldest friend. Even when you were, wherever you were, he was adamant about naming him Yuya."
"After me?" He stares at the baby, who cracks a smile at him, tiny hand reaching in his direction. "Can I?" he asks, pointing to him. Yukari hands him to Tegoshi with seeming reluctance, makes sure he's holding the baby safely. Yu-chan makes a soft cooing sounds as he looks up at Tegoshi. Masuda left him for this. But somehow, just looking at him makes Tegoshi smile.
---------------------
It took me a while to get inspired to write this chap, but now I have the rest of the series all planned out :) The next part of Cherish is all written, too, but it's much longer, so it will take a while to type up XD
I'm very cold right now and I'm ready for winter to be over.