I have become more sociable. Having a greater number of friends will mean that I will have more protection loving when my ingrate illegitimate family comes to take me to the funny farm again where I will bite off my other hand and melt crayons into a new one that will keep me indoors 'cause the sun is hot and would melt it and that would not be ( Read more... )

Oh, Eru above, what did I ever do to deserve this? I always wash before meals and I never step on ants and, well, that war -- it's not my fault, my daughter never told me where to stab...

The Maia claim they are sympathetic to my plight, but they're NOT HELPING ME.

He is plotting to throw me in a mental institution again if he ever gets his ( Read more... )

I like chicken soup.

It is healing.

Trouble is, chicken is icky. And is processed poultry carcass.

Help.

In this time of war, I decided we needed some love.

So, I decided that I was going to make a list of things that I don't hate. Here it is:

[1] Crayons.

[2] Pearberry anti-bacterial hand gel.

[3] Acid.

[4] THENGEL.That's all, I think. I love more things than most women of Rohan, yes ( Read more... )

My other daughter has joined a pop band with the evilest of evils.

**tries not to cry**

I want my husband. He's sane and nice and squishy and I loooove his haircut.

**finally breaks down and cries**

I'm lonely. Again.

**looks at her prosthetic hand and then at the knife drawer**

THENNNNNGEL!

All right, I'm going to join in my family's war.

To: Dol Amroth
From: Morwen Steelsheen
Re: You

Dear Dol Amroth,

I hate you. Die, bloody mean people.

Love,
Morwen
xoxo

-- Was that good?

Oh, and I sent late returns to my lovely grandchild[ren] and child[ren], some of whom I appear to have misidentified earlier ( Read more... )

Under new management now. Facelifted page. Facelifted friends. Facelifted self.

Husband = dead? I'm giving him a week and then publicly divorcing him and setting myself up as an available Rohirrim.So what if I've got children and grandchildren? I'm still good.

Hey, darling children psychotic fanatics. Let's go to war, eh?

Hey, baby. You ( Read more... )

*picks lock attached to chain which she is currently attached to ( Read more... )

I love my children. ALL THREE OF THEM.

Count that? THREE.

I'll even brave the germs to give you all hugs:

::gingerly embraces Theoden, Theodwyn, and Theoredes::

LOVE!

I've got a new hand! And I'm finally out of the hospital! But with a developed taste for wax and crayons, no less. My mind is a bit clearer now; my hands less chapped ( Read more... )